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How do I get my friends back without doing drugs?
Guess I'm not as cool as I used to be...
I'm sitting outside in my back yard, typing on my brother's laptop, taking in the beaming gleam of the sun. it seems like I'm losing all my friends to a number of illegal substances. No one wants to come to my house anymore, because they aren't going to get plastered or toke up a fatty. As if I'm in a competition with drugs to have friends, I don't invite people over anymore, I don't even look foreword to weekends anymore, because my house is a boring place to go all of the sudden. I guess when you grow up to a certain age, you have to start doing drugs and drinking to be fun? How long ago was last summer? No one ever mentioned drugs last summer, what with the change? I guess life is boring without uppers and downers, being sober is being square. My house is a last resort for people to go to have fun. "hey guy, let's just go to my house, there aren't any parties tonight, I guess we'll just have to be sober for once… goddamn.". I only have one friend that hasn't smoked or drank. And we hang out all the time, and have a lot of fun. But I guess it isn't actual fun because we remember it. I guess we're just boring people, it almost makes me want to toke up and get hammered just so that I can hang out with all my friends that have ditched for the shit. But I won't, and I guess that means I have to continue living my boring, sober life alone, with my one friend… in my boring house. Any generic after school special would say "well, those guys aren't your true friends, go find some real ones!" sure thing A.S.S. I'd love to. But I don't know anyone that hasn't been incapacitated. Not only that, but those people ARE MY REAL FRIENDS! Just today Anthony ditched me, at my house, we were all about to leave to go to bowling green, to go to lake malone with my brother; he didn't even say 'bye'. What the hell is that? That sounds like something my brother would do. And it is something my brother has done. I don't care if he went to do drugs, it was still a shitty thing to do] But I'm not here to cuss out my friends, I'm here to query myself, to ponder… I don't do drugs, that makes me a loser, no seriously, it does, I have lost all but two of my friends to drugs, and it kills me. Goddamn it, and people wonder why I play online games? I play them so I can interact with people and have fun! I can't any other way! I don't have any friends! I'm not going to hang around drunken and high people, unless it's Westray, because he's the same sober as he his high! I didn't mean this as an insult, I'm saying that Westray is a cool person to be with no matter what, we can talk to eachother and laugh with eachother, no matter what]
But I guess that's the end of this rant. If I can't have friends while being sober, I guess I won't have friends, maybe I'll find some more real friends like kaleb and nic. But i just gotta live and find out. I know that things won't be the same this summer, I won't have many memories this summer, not without buddies to make them with. and my old buddies that get high and shit, they won't remember the memories that they made. I thought I was cool, but I guess you can't be anymore, not without that shit.
Have any advice for me?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well, first of all, you are EXTREMELY cool. Cool people are confident and secure enough to do what they want, not what all their friends are doing.
Let me tell you about this guy Chris that I went to school with. He went through his entire high school years without ever drinking, smoking or doing drugs. He was a super nice, fun guy and everyone liked him. He went to all the parties where nearly everyone was either drinking or doing drugs. He never looked down on them or lectured them about what they were doing... his attitude was, "If you want to do that, that's cool, but I'm not going to." He would just hang out and have fun with everyone while staying sober. People would sometimes try to tempt him to do something, but only half-heartedly, because they knew he never would. And everyone really respected him and liked him. He was really one of the coolest people at our school.
You can still be friends with your old buddies -- they aren't terrible people, they've just gotten into something that you prefer not to join in on. You may not be as close as you once were, or hang out as often, and of course you're going to miss the good times and close friendship you once shared. And I know this doesn't make it any easier, but it's very common and natural for friends to drift apart as their interests change. It happens to everyone, but I guarantee you WILL find other friends.
Good luck. You sound like a very nice and intelligent person, and I'm sure you're going to get through this and come out just fine. And cool!
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It's rough, isn't it? Stick to your beliefs though... not doing drugs doesn't make you a loser. It actually sets you apart from the easily led masses. And you're not alone! None of my friends in high school did drugs. We were a squeaky clean bunch.
My advice? Try finding someone else. Trust me, they're out there, but possibly not where you're looking. Check out different social groups. I know it seems like everyone is on something, but it's not true.
And please, don't do drugs because you want to be like everyone else. You're too young to screw up your life like that.
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hmm, i'm guessing as the fact that you are bold and intelligent enough to not do drugs or drink that you are a decent guy and similar to me in many respects. But here is some real advice: go out with some girls. Yea, some girls go out and are partying with your friends but i promise that not all of them are. Go for the intelligent girls with good school grades-- you will probably have a good time with them. And while your at it, hook your one or two friends, who aren't into drugs, up as well. Trust me, the ones who ditched you arent having a great time. They are too plastered or high to realize how shitty of a time they are having. Or you could make a scheme to get all your friends caught and then they would be forced to hang out with you again. The choice is yours.
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I know exactly how you feel. When I started going to high school I met all these new and great people. Turned out they all started doing drugs and getting drunk. I still hung out with some of them but not when they were doing what they did best. The next year I stopped talking to most of them. They had to much drama in their lives. I started meeting new people and making a totally new group of friends. I'm going to be entering my senior year in the Fall and I have changed friends quit a bit. I have never gotten drunk and never did any sort of drug. I want to grow up and be able to tell my kids some day that they can do it too. Stand up for what you believe and don't ever let them influence you. Stay with the two friends that you have and try to make new ones when the new year comes around. Join clubs and play a sport maybe and met some new people. There is hope that some aren't stupid. Our generation is really messed up though. I wish you the best of luck!!
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dude,i really respect you for not being influenced and not taking drugs,thats great.Dont EVER change to the worse just to be like them.Theyre gonna be the ones crying in the end and youll be the healthy one.I dont think they are really your type anymore now that theyre on drugs.Look,theres always a new year,new people to meet.Stick with your two freinds and find different things to do.And nothings wrong with playing online games,it doesnt make you weird or anything,i play games online too...so?Forget about your old freinds man,this school years over anyway and a new ones to come^_^
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hey,
wow! um, I guess what you can do is ask them why they take drugs but I'm not even kidding when I say DONT DO THEM.
it won't make anything better even if it means you have friends, but will that be the right reason?
In your opinion would you rather have a few loyal friends than lots of friends who like you just because you took something that's illegal. Doing drugs, smoking, drinking etc, doesn't make you cool or make you hard. It makes you an idiot, especially if your under age. These things can kill you.
Trust me when I say its better to be a live with few friends than dead with many because that's the danger with drugs. Sooner or later one of your "friends" who does drugs will probably be taken ill or maybe even die from a bad pill or something, and if you haven't done it then you will say to youself "I'm glad i listened to common sense, not the way of the sheep" because sheep follow other peoples. Induviduals do what they want.
If you don't have friends and you think your life is boring, then you know, do something. Go shopping, cinema etc. Or make new friends! You sound like a sensible person, I'll be your friend! :D
Biriani
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