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i lost my cousins trust
my name is Rachel and iam 18 years old and i just started smoking a couple of weeks ago and my cousin found out my cousin is 36 by the way if that helps any but anywas we use to be really close kind of like sisters but ever since she found out i started smoking she thinks i did it becouse i want to be like her becouse she smokes and now she thinks she's a bad influence on me becouse iam smoking but she has nothing to do with me smoking except that she did let me try it the first time if i promised never to do it again just to see what it was like so i promised her i wouldn't do it again but i kept on doing it and she found out so now she won't let me come over to her house anymore becouse she's afraid i'll sneak ciggerates and become addicted so she's stopping me from coming over alltogether and i want her to trust me again how can i get her to trust me if i can't even come over?
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You could call her, But I think you'd better stop smoking too, since you had promised not to smoke but did it anyway.
Good luck!
Abigail
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Sounds to me like your cousin is mad at herself, because she thought her actions, and her statements warning you against smoking, would work, and they did not. And you are right when you say that she had nothing to do with your decision. It is afterall, your decision to smoke or not smoke. Is she afraid that the rest of the family, when they find out, that they will blame her. You can tell her that you take full responsibility for your decision to smoke. I mean you do don't you? If your immediate family finds out, you are not going to blame her are you? And I don't think they will either, whether they are happy with your decision or not, they must realize at 18, that you have a mind of your own, and you have broken no laws.
Give her time to get over it, people cannot stay mad at themselves for long. She is being hipocritcal if she lets it go on too long, because after all SHE SMOKES!
And by the way, she probably doesn't realize that she is mad at herself, and she is taking it out on you. Not fair. IN the whole scheme of things, if that is the only thing she had to worry about with you, she should consider herself lucky. There a so many other bad things you could be doing.
Michele
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Well your cousin is just looking out for you and she obviously sees that smoking is bad for you and doesn't want you to do it. In fact it wouldn't surprise me if she wanted to stop herself. You need to talk with her and tell her you're sorry that you broke your promise to her and you regret losing her trust. Hopefully she will then see you're too mature to copy everything she does. If she still won't let you go to her house, you should try and talk on the phone or on the computer.
Also, I'd reccommend that you try and stop smoking too. I know you probably hear it a lot, but it's really bad for you, seriously. If you did that then that would really show her how mature you are. In the end, don't worry, youre family and one day she will grow to trust you again.
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