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I don't know what to think of him anymore....
Although this is long, I dont know where to turn and would appreciate any responses. Thanks.
Hi everyone. I'm 13/f and my best friend is 14/m.
Well, he moved here last year and his old school was kind of bad, but we clicked right away, I helped him fit in, so to speak (even though I'm not the most popular), and now he's the most popular guy in our school, by most people's "standards."
I didn't think he'd done anything bad at his old school, and I still don't.
But, as I've been becoming "closer" to him I've been finding out things like, he seems to have a girlfriend just to "do things" (not bad, that I know of - just like kissing) with her. When I first found out he kissed his girlfriend I cried- I know it sounds pathetic, but he seems to go out with girls who have NO redeeming qualities, and now he's going out with a "sl**" (I hate to say that, but most people think so.)
But she's not the worst. One other girl in our school is really bad, does drugs (well, it's a rumor) and is the sl***iest. She's probably done really bad things with guys.
Well, I feel horrible about this - and I'm still guilty - but, I found out someone's email password from my grade, and happened to see an email that said "____(the girl) got down on her knees for ______ (my bff), just like i did with _____ (some other kid) and started sucking away. But no one's mad at her and they're mad at me."
I bawled for a half-hour, because I couldn't believe that he would do this with someone/let her do it! I just still can't believe it, and I don't know if it was someone else but it is a pretty uncommon name (my bff's) - and I can't ask/tell anyone, because then theyll ask how I knew and I can't tell them I was on someone else's email! (I feel horrible - never again.)
My best friend seemed so nice when I met him. He seemed like such a good boy, he does well in school and has an amazing family but I don't think they know he's like this! I didn't even know! although it's becoming more apparent recently.
I just don't know where to turn. I can't believe he would do that. It's so shallow and DISGUSTING for an 8th grader! (I know lots of people do now - but I really thought he was waaaaay above that. that's gross, and he doesn't even hang out with her.)
I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. I can't even look at him anymore. I don't want to even associate with him! But he's still my best friend, so I can't just leave him like that - esp. when I don't know details.
I just can't believe it. I'm in such a state of shock. You might not know how I feel, but thanks for any advice you give.
I'm really grateful because I don't know who else to ask about this - thank you sooo much for your responses.
-Disappointed
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wow,
he is such a jerk.
maybe it might be after he got in the
" in crowd " that usually happens, he
may not really be doing it because most
guys just act tough and stuff, and rumors
75% of the time are def. not true so cool
down and dont stress out, i think you
should just try and talk to him about how
you think he changed alot & if he was really
your bff he would listen to you =]
take care & chin up.
♥kay
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You're acting like such a drama queen, and TOTALLY overreacting. He's a boy, he's going to get a blow job or kiss girls. This is not considered a bad or wrong thing. Also, its none of your business that he's done that and you SHOULDN'T be crying over it. This doesn't make him a bad person, and it has nothing to do with his family or grades. Get over it! While reading this I felt a need to punch you in your face because of how naive and drama queen-ish you are. Don't ask him about it, its not your place to. You're making this a way way way bigger deal then it ought to be.
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I personally think you're overreacting. Lots of teenagers today are sexually active. Although it may not be morally right, but to teens it's considered the "norm." It's a part of growing up [some kids rush it] & although that may be bad for some, it can be good for others. Some kids can handle this type of thing.
Honestly, just talk to him about it. Don't get pissed though. Disappointment is fine, but don't get so mad you stop talking. A friend becoming sexually active is no reason to stop talking to them. He's your best friend, you can't control the things he does.
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Hey
i think you should ask if what you saw was true. If ya'll are pretty close then it shouldn't blow out of proportion. I don't believe you should judge him though because some ppl have different thoughts on what should and shouldn't be done. So just ask, as a friend. Oh and if you like him you might want to try to figure something out quick before it blurrs your vision on your friendship of being able to talk to him. I hope i helped and that you won't have to cry anymore!! =)
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Disappointed,
You have to know the details before you jump to conclusions. Yes, you saw this email, but once you hear it straight from him, it's not going to get any better. Keep it between you two, and no one else. Tell him what you know and saw and ask if it's true. If it's not then don't worry. It's not your place. If it is, tell him that it makes you uncomfortable, and that you expected more from him as a friend and a person. Considering he has a "not so clean" reputation before he met you, it may be something about him that cannot be changed. The reason you like him is because you guys have a real connection and are friends to the boy who lives next door, not the boy who does dirty stuff like that. But I'm getting the feeling that you have "more than a friend" feelings for this boy, which make the situation worse. But that's another story. The point is that although you could tell him how much it upsets you, it's out of your reach.
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