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Big Friendship problem (sorry if it's long)
Okay, so my 'friends' were the best of friends a girl could ever have, in the beginning of the school year (long ass time ago) Then in the middle of the year things started to change. I didn't feel the love that friends are supposed to have for eachother (in a friend way). And they are constantly labeling me goth. And I am always the one that is made fun of. But then a girl named Haley started hanging out with us. At first it was all the same for me. But then they all started talking behind her back. I would NEVER join in on those conversations, I would defend her. Then one day me and Haley were still eating lunch, and they left. So when we are done we go find them. And they start bitching on how Haley should just leave, so she leaves and I go with her. And that is the start of our great friendship. I mean, it's like we are sisters. We constantly hang out. (of course it isn't just us isolating (sp?) ourselves, we hang out with MANY more people, but we are always together, no matter who we hang out with) And we always have something to talk about, anyways I haven't hung out with my other 'friends' for awhile. Then a few days ago, I hung out with them after school, and they kept saying 'Why are you hanging out with Haley, she is some goth freak, is that why you hang out with her? I hate Haley, just stop hanging out with her!' And I don't want to stop hanging out with her, but my 'friends' won't stop bugging me about it, I don't want to go back to the old ways with them making fun of me, and them being rude and labeling me. And I can't ditch Haley, what should I do??
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well... I know a girl who hangs out with everyone - preps, jocks, goths, nerdy people, i mean *everyone*. she's not just "nice" to them, she actually hangs out them at different times. everyone likes her and she's one of the most popular girls at our school. unfortunately, most people don't have the confidence to do that. they're afraid that if they hang out with a certain type of person, they'll start to be labeled as a part of that group. so they stick with their own group and shun people from other groups. it sounds like that's the case with your friends - they're afraid that if they accept Haley, they'll be seen as "goth freaks" too. it's a shame, but it's actually very normal and there's probably nothing you can do about your friends' insecurity. the best you can do is sit down and have a talk with them, or write them a note. explain that while you realize they don't care for Haley, you see some qualities in her that you really like, and you're going to continue to be her friend. but that you also really value their friendship and hope that you can continue to be friends with them as well. that's really all you can do, because obviously you really like Haley and you don't want to lose her friendship. hopefully your other friends will be mature enough to understand. good luck!
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do not ditch haley. its possible that shes your only real friend. why dump her for your old friends. the friends that ridiculed you for being goth. you need to stick up for haley. try working this friendship back together and dont give up. if time runs out and it doesnt seem that anything is working out between all of you then just dump your old friends. if they cant accept you for who you are or what you've become then its their own personal problem. your trying to do the right thing and the right thing is not to trash haley with your old friends. sisters stick together.
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well i would explain to your "friends" that you two connected and your not gonna stop being friends with her just because the others dont like her. if your real "friends" think that is too complicated or dont like it, then they arent your real friends anyway. say wut u mean because the people that mind dont matter and the people that matter dont mind. they probobly talked about you behind your back if they did it to her too. sad to say but the cliques think they are too cool to be friends with someone if that person is friends with an "outcast". hope it helps
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First of all you need to make your 'friends' aware of why you hang out with Haley so much, because you can be yourself with out all the bitching and rudeness.
Tell them that Haley is like your sister and you feel comfortable around her.
Your 'friends' need to realise that they can't make you feel like your an outsider or anyone for that matter. They are not your friends if they do this to you.
Tell them to give Haley a chance to be their friend too because she's a cool chick.
Hope I helped. :)
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