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life sucks
I feel so alone right now.
I'll start from the beginning.
About 6 months ago I found out my parents were having marital problems. I was really shocked because everyone looked at my parents as the "perfect couple" and so did I. My dad was always my best friend. Everyone knew I was his favorite and he spoiled me so much. and then I found out he cheated on my mom with a 28 year old nurse he works with. I was crushed. He moved out just to clear his head for 3 months but he promised not to see this girl. Right before christmas my mom got a strange feeling and went to a restaurant near his work and she found my dad and that girl at the bar. After that my dad begged to come back. So we let him. It was great for a while until 2 months later when he told us he was going to move out again. So i stopped talking to him. The day before he left I got very hurt on a school trip and had to be rushed to the hospital. I guess my dad realized he was making a mistake and decided to stay again because of my injury. But then a month later when I was almost healed he said he was moving out again but this time for good. It's been 3 months now and he's dating this girl. I havn't talked to him since. My brother, sister, and mom all talk to him, but I just can't. I'm usually pretty strong, but once in a while I'll just break down and cry. Another thing is one day I drank way too much and decided to have sex just so I could do something my dad wouldn't want me to do. Now everyone thinks I'm a slut because I've down this 2 other times when I was drunk. So now I think I have a drinking problem because I drink almost 3 times a week. And I don't know how to make people think I'm not a slut. By the way I'm 15/f.
Any advice is appreciated!
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<<EDIT>>
I wanted to reply to what you had said to me in your comments but the only way I know how to is through here and I'm not sure if I should incase anything you had said was private. So I apologize in advance if it was but this is the only way I know of to reply to you.
I know it must seem very scary, the thought of seeing a therapist. But believe me it is to help you. Your mom is obviously very concerned for you as am I from what you had said. A therapist will give you a chance to let things out andtalk about everything that weighs heavy on your mind and heart. It will be a great weight off your shoulders. If you can then by all means talk to a close friend who you can totally trust as well, it will hopefully help all that much more. Give the therapist a try and see how it goes, you've really nothing to lose in trying at all. :] As I said before too, if ever you need to chat just write me to my inbox or you can email (it's on my column page thingy). Also don't worry about the bf part, it's his loss to lose someone like you. If he doesn't come crawling back you can bet there'll be plenty (decent) guys out there who'd love to be with you. Take care yourself, things will work out.
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Hi.
Firstly ignore what everyone is calling you. No one is in any position to judge you other than yourself. I can understand you are angry at your dad but by doing what you did (getting drunk and sleeping with someone) you are only hurting yourself. You need to stop doing that and bring it under control. Drinking is seen as a way of escape (trust me I know) but alcohol is a depressant, it doesn't make things any better at all and instead tend to make things worse so it's something you do need to stop. I'm uncertain if you're in the UK or the US but either way there would be placesyou can contact to get help on the drinking and to bring it under control.
As I said above, these people who call you a slut - they have no idea what you are feeling or going through. Try not to let them get to you or get you down. You don't need to prove anything to anyone so don't feel that you need to. Most of them were ignorant enough to judge you without knowing what's really going on I doubt any kind of proof you present will sway them in what they believe. The best thing you can do for yourself though is to not go down that path. As I said above already you're only hurting yourself.
As for what's going on with your dad. Sometimes this does happen. I mean I am surprised that my parents haven't already split up. No marriage is perfect at all. Everyone has their ups and downs so don't feel this is just with your family. It's been your own choice not to talk to your dad again but are you sure this is what you want? Has your dad never asked you what's wrong or why younever talk to him? If he does maybe you should tell him and let this anger that's eating you up on the inside out? Failing that maybe talking to a councillor at your school may help so you can talk about what's going on what what you're feeling and you can let it all out. Keeping all of this stuff bottled up inside is NOT doing you any good at all. :[
I really hope I was able to help even in the slightest. If you ever need to chat my inbox is always open so feel free to write or if you just need to let off steam. ALso if you need help with locating a place you can call to help you with your drinking, again just let me know and I'll see if I can find the numbers for you.
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I'm sorry this happened. It sucks when parents split up, I know.
Something you have to understand, though, is that no couple is perfect. Things happen and people sometimes separate for one reason or another.
If your father fell in love with this other woman, it was something he couldn't help. No, he should have never cheated on your mother, but you can't help who you fall for. He just could've handled it in a better way.
You also have to realize that none of this is your fault. You didn't sound guilty, but I know a lot of children blame themselves when their parents split up.
I know you'd probably love it if your dad moved back in and your parents resumed their former relationship like nothing ever happened...but that's not going to happen. It's something we all have to realize. And it is probably best that they aren't together. Would you rather them be miserable together or happy apart? Parents should never stay together for the kids, and your father realized that.
You can always talk to your father about how you feel about the whole situation, but the only thing I see that he did wrong was cheat on your mother. He fell for another woman, and that's something you can't change. It's just something you have to accept and move on from. I think it would be best to continue a good relationship with your dad. If you don't, you may regret it later.
If you honestly think you have a drinking problem, you should talk to your mother or a counselor about it. Once you move past this hard time in your life, you should be fine and realize that alcohol doesn't help anything or make you hurt any less. As for the sex, you just have to stop. Stop getting drunk and making bad decisions. You don't want a reputation as a slut over this, so you're going to have to make a change. Maybe stop hanging out with the people you drink with...separate yourself from that world and focus on your parents and your relationship with your father and the rest of your family.
Good luck.
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first offf wow....
i really tihnk you have some deep personal isssues and that you need to see a professional counsler. You seem like your dad and your moms marriage has been affecting oyur life greatly and I'm really sorry. Try tlaking to a friend or your school counsler about these things it rellla helps alot . and dont worry about what the pepople at school are syaing your jsut the topic of the week in a little while they will find somsone elsree to tlak about .
i hope this helped
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First of all, deep breath, okay?
Good.
It's alright to be mad at your dad- he cheated on your mom and you thought you could trust him. it's understandable. Put down the bottle- you're too young to be drinking, regardless. It seems like if you stay away from the alchohol, you'll stay away from the boys, clearing up both problems at once. It'll take time to forgive your dad, if you ever, alright? It happens. If you need someone to talk to, I'm sure just about anyone on this site, including myself, would talk to you for as long as you needed to, whenever they could, alright? Let your words express yourself, rather than your drunken actions.
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