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being mean
i hvae been in a lot of fights at my new school becasue people say im mean and insulting. I dont really know what it is that i am doing. My old school wasnt a public school, but everyone was mean and snooty and i had public school friends, not saying that public schools are bad, but my frends were just mean people.
The people at my new school have always been in perfect litttle catilian rich people everyone is secretly mean to eachother enviornments, where i have been raised[[incluiding mine and my old friends familes]] in mean bitchy enviornments. The girls at my new school are used to being treated like princesses everyone being nice to them, no one even saying sumthing mean as a joke. they just DONT get it.
ive been trying my hardest to not be mean, but people even still tell me that im mean, and i dnt understand, ill say the stupid, meaningless thing, that i say in a VERY sarcastic way, that anyone would be able to tell that i was joking, even if i was sorta serious, but not letting anyone know. BUt everyone takes it WAY too personally, and they dont understand the fulmeaning thats its a JOKE!
like i said try to be nicer, but i cant seem to get that meaness out of me. I have frends, but i dnt want to loose them because im mean, so what should i do OTHER than trying, because everytime i try it doesnt work.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well i think you jsut try to be nice to them and see how far that takes you if it work write back.
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There's no reason for you to change. If people want to take everything you say the wrong way, that's their perogative. It's kind of refreshing sometimes when people joke around and insult each other. I think that because you are new, that you're doing it a little too much too soon though. You had established relationships with your friends from your other school already and they knew you really well. The kids at your new school don't know you and it's probably not a good idea to make fun of them so much until you've developed a good close bond with a few of them first. You really are starting all over again. It's hard to do, that's why being the new kid can be so difficult. You can gain acceptance though, it's not impossible. For now, don't stop joking with them completely, but make sure you say nice things too every once in awhile. The only thing that can really help you in your situation though is time. It takes time to develop friendships. Just be patient. They'll come around. Good luck! :)
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I agree with ammo. There's a right time for jokes, and a right time to be serious. Some people can't take jokes, and those are the kind of people you might not want to be so silly around. If that doesn't work & they still think you're being mean, then maybe you shouldn't hang out with them. It's hard to get people to accept you & like you, and if they don't, well then that's their problem, not yours.
Talk to a friend about it & see if she gets where you're coming from. She probably will because everything's new to you, and you need time to get used to it.
Just be silly around some people, but not around others.
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Although I say that people shouldn't have to change just to please others but there are times when we do have to adjust to our environments which is what the case really is here.
Some people really can't take a joke. I know a lot of poeple like that too. I joke around with my mates a hell of a lot. My ex gf (before her and I started dating) thought one of my mates and I was gay because of the way me and him used to joke around. However, there's others I know who just have no sense of humor when it comes to that. :|
I think the only thing you really can do is try and try and try. No one can really ask more than that of you. Maybe even have a talk to your friends one on one and tell them that you really are trying to adjust to your how things are different where you are now but they just need to try and bare with you while you try to do that. I'm not syaing lose your sense of humor completely but just adjust it when you're around people who can't appreciate it. As for being mean - that's something that no one really likes. I have a high tolerance for the crap I will take from people but even I have a breaking point and obviously your friends will as well.
It will take time for you to adjust and get used to where you are now so give yourself some time. Change always takes time (with guys change can be almost impossible, hehe) but give yourself some time and ask your friends to be patient with you. If they value your friendship they will give you that much at least. Good luck and sorry I can't be more help.
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