|
Overshadowed
Well basically in my group of friends, I have always been that background girl. Out of drama, out of fights, the nice shy one of the group. Although that may sound pretty good, I'm also the one that gets overshadowed by EVERYONE. I never, ever get the attention from guys, I'm never the one that all the girls want to hang out with. Pretty much, I'm never in the spotlight. I'm so sick of hearing how my friends are jugglin like 4 different boys constantly, and I have a difficult time getting one, especially when guys must be crazy if they pick me over my friends (all my friends are absolutely gorgeous by the way) I've always acted like it never bothered me, but lately it's just been really getting to me, because my whole life this is the way its been, and just for once, I would love to get the attention even just for a slight second. I don't know...any thoughts or advice would be appreciated :-/
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Trust me, guys are going to be drawn to you later in life. People get sick of people who try to be the center of attention all the time. Maybe the people you hang out with arent really your true friends if they dont want to always hang out with you. Try making a stand for yourself and finding other people who actrully respect you and will be there for you. Find the people you can be yourself around. and dont stress that much about not getting attention... because seriously the people who take the time to get to no you are the only opinions that should EVER MATTER! maybe being in the spot light isnt what you are destinated to do.. maybe its so much more... and you will get attention when you find people that TRUELY appreciate who you are...hope to help... and just dont worry about it becuase im sure you are a great person!
hope to help.
]
I have been down this road before. I was always my own person. The thing is, i had to grab the attention. Whether i knew how to dance, tell a joke or just be silly ol me. It was me that people loved and not a fake person. So my suggestion to you is show people what your good at or what your made of. Maybe even jump into different friends. Mix your friends up. The more the merrier. Who cares if they have a BF. Life shouldnt be focused on that. Focus on yuorself. Focus on the great person you are. Make sure people see your shine. Fuck your friends, than. Whether or not you speak up, they will look at you like your crazy. Cause females like that wont understand what your problem is. I say at a party/club/event bounce around. Be ballsy. Go and talk to guys yourself. Be funny. Be a dork. I am sure you are a wonderful person and once you know that you will never have a problem. About the "gorgeous" thing. Bring out your best assects. Be it your eyes, lips, boobs...whatever. It may raise your confidence alil more when speaking to guys.
]
Believe me, you're better off barely able to get one guy, than being some skank who has 4+ guys at once. Once they all get pregnant/STDs, you'll become the attractive one and have no worries from then on out.
]
I used to be the EXACT same way growing up--quiet little me, always in the background. I sometimes felt invisible; as though my presence didn't make the slightest difference. But I've come to realize a few things:
a) If you don't speak up, people aren't going to listen. It's not because they don't want to hear what you have to say, but because you aren't clearly making your thoughts known. I'm not saying you should pretend to be someone you're not, but next time you have an opinion about something, say it. Try to get more involved, and you'll be surprised how people will respond and will WANT to hang around you.
b)Being popular and getting the guys is not all it's made out to be. I know how you feel- that you just want a LITTLE attention. Seems to me like you're the one that's being genuine, and sometimes that means being out of the lime light. You shouldn't act or dress a certain way to get the guys- that's knocking at the wrong door. Be yourself, get more involved socially, and maybe you'll meet someone with like interests- but keep in mind: things happen when you least expect them to :)
c) OH, yes..."all my friends are absolutely gorgeous." I'd be rich if I got a quarter for every time I said that about other girls--especially in High School.. it's been several years, but I know exactly how it feels. Hey, beauty really is only skin deep. AND it's subjective-why do you think they're gorgeous? Do they wear too much make up or spend hours on their hair? If that's not your thing (and good for you!) then you shouldn't have to succumb to such a narrow perception of beauty.
Hey, I know where you're coming from. I'm guessing you're in HS...Just remember: be yourself, be strong, and don't compare yourself to others. People will start admiring you for who you ARE :)
]
I understand i was this way until i turned 15 then i started comming out and standing out from my friends. Eventually i stopped hanging out with that group of friends and started talking to other people and becoming the "leader" of another group of friends. You will move around to other people and be the head of some groups and back rounds of another. Just change your style or if not your style then just become more out going when you like a guy. Dont let them walk on you or think any guy would be crazy to go for you instead of them.
hope i helped.
]
try stepping out be yourself but make it heard. try telling them how you feel about how they overshadow you. i had a group of friends and yes i was the shy one but i figured i couldnt be close friends with all of them so i start to get closer to one of them. it helps. hope this helps.=]
]
More Questions: |