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Emotionally abused?
Get ready for this one, it might be a bit long.
Okay well my boyfriend and I had plans for today to get together so he could meet my cousin. Instead he gets drunk, calls me telling me that he can't come over but he wants me at his friends house to hang out at a party with him, then proceeds to tell me that I cannot bring my cousin who I never see. When I tell him no I can't just leave my cousin here he goes on saying oh well there are plenty of hott girls here who want to take their clothes off. Then I just tell him I was hanging up and he didn't even say just kidding or try to stop me he simply says k bye. That really got to me and I messaged him on myspace saying how he treated me was really wrong. He just replied back by saying soooo many b**ches so little time then he says where is the ky (as in the lubricant) G** Da** it.
So what I want to know is how do I let him know what he is doing to me is making me have suicidal thoughts. He really is a great boyfriend when he isn't drunk so I don't plan on breaking up with him. But how do I just let him know what he does hurts me.
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He gets drunk? If I were you, I would break up with him! He could get you in trouble many times, and make you want to commit suicide! Tell your parents and/or friends about your suicidal thoughts. The "hott girls" are, hopefully, just his imagination. BREAK UP WITH HIM!
xoxo
Miss Anonymous
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Hey there.
I'm sorry to hear that a caring, forgiving person such as yourself is being so severly mistreated by someone who doesn't know how to love you properly - and doesn't know how to love himself properly either.
Too often, intoxication is used as an excuse for some of the worst behavior out there. But the fact of the matter is, at some point you have to stop making excuses. HE is the one that decided to pick the bottle up and let things get out of control. HE is the one that has issues that he needs to deal with, but instead he's escaping into alcohol, and taking all his inner demons out on you. There is no other way to say this - he's an alcoholic, and until he faces that fact and truly wishes to change that aspect of himself, he will continue to mistreat you, and everyone else around him. "So many b**tches, so little time" ??! - haha! He wishes. There's nothing attractive about a drunk, loud-mouthed, abnoxious jerk who can't hold his liquor, and I can pretty much guarentee you that there's not a "hot girl" in sight that wants to get near his sorry ass.
There's that old saying - "I can do bad by myself." You may feel lonely on your own, but honey - he's being such a terrible person right now, he's making you feel a hell of a lot worse than lonely. Its completely unfair to you, and you don't deserve this. You deserve someone who will return the care, concern and love that you're giving to him too generously, and that he's not taking the time to appreciate.
Unfortunately, there are instances in life where words will just come up short. This is one of those instances. This guy's treating you horribly...but you don't break it off, no matter how harmful it is towards you. So he's probably got it into his head, "I can do whatever I want, and they'll be no consequences."
At this point, actions are the only thing that will let this person know that you are hurt by what he does and you won't tolerate it. Its time to get angry, stop calling, stop sending email, and send him packing honey. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER and the last thing he deserves is your time and energy! You sound like such a sweet girl - and you can do so much better. And IN NO WAY is he worth you taking your own life - the fact that he'd even make you THINK of that is the worst thing in the world !! Its just more proof that this guy is just plain poison. The world is a better place because you're in it. You have a lot of other boyfriends, better times, and a lot more life ahead of you...and suicide is just plain unfair - to you.
Feelings of suicide are overwhelming and serious, and I'm begging you to seek out someone that's close to you that you trust, someone you know that cares about you, to just talk about it. Your feelings deserve to be acknowledged and cared for, and I think you know deep down who your true friends are - and this guy aint one of em. Try to surround yourself with family and friends right now, who you know are going to return the same caring attitude you try to give out. When your inner strength is built up, and you're surrounded by more positive people and fewer negative, it shows, and you'll start to feel a lot better about yourself. When you start treating yourself really well, you attract those who'll want to treat you just the same. before you know it, the RIGHT kind of guys will start to come along, and mr. alcoholic putz will just be a distant memory.
Hang in there - and Good Luck!
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No one deserves that & I can't understand why any girl allows that kind of behavior in their relationship. Drunk or not, no boyfriend should ever threaten to sleep with other girls. If he cared about your relationship or knew he was going to act like that, he should either watch his drinks or not drink at all. It's really sad to see guys act like that & their girlfriends actually defend their abusive behavior. It probably contributes to why guys are the way they are these days. Instead of sitting here & actually admitting to everyone "I'm not breaking up with him. I'm going to let him walk all over me", why not look for someone better? Be a smart woman to put your foot down & say "I will not let you treat me this way, goodbye." By sticking around, you're only showing him that what he did was "okay" & giving him more power to control you. If you leave now, I can guarantee you are saving yourself from a possible abusive relationship with this guy. I am not here to put you down, I am here telling you what I wish I could have done when I was in your similar position. I am here to tell you that you are MUCH better than that & you need to get out now. There are plenty of guys out there who would treat you so much better. Yes, guys make mistakes, but this is by no means acceptable.
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Hmmmm... Alcohol is a funny thing. See, it doesn't put ideas into your head. It only makes you more likely to do things you might otherwise decide are wrong. Your boyfriend chooses to get drunk and act that way.
He is not allowed to treat you that way. If you allow it, then you are giving him permission to abuse you.
He obviously has a problem with drinking and not knowing what's enough and what's appropriate behavior, so you need to move on and let him go be wit' his hot bitches. If he thinks he can get laid so easily, let him go.
You, on the other hand, have better things to do, like find a man who either doesn't drink or can hold his liquor without becoming a man-slut. I would be willing to bet this this isn't his first time doing this.
Sabine
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Wow. I'm sorry but he's a jerk. He can't just treat you like that. Are you satisfied with that?. Does he really make you happy?. Because right now I know you're not. If you were really smart you would brake up with him. He's supposed 2 be you're boyfriend not someone who treats you like that. While you're at home crying he's probably at a party with some hore. Do you deserve that? Try to fix you're problem if you still love him. Tell him he hurts you. Or else say the same thing he tells you. Tell him you are going to a party and if some guys want to strip for you then o well...
Lets see how he reacts to that!
I really think you should just talk to him and tell him. Be alone with him. Just tell him that it hurts you. And if he knew how badly he wouldn't hurt you anymore.
I hope everything works out for the best. Remember God puts you on water but he doesn't drown you. Is that how it goes? Haha
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He's a jerk. Dump his ass. You deserve much better!
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