|
bad sister
ok my sister is 16 and she wants to get a small tattoo of a peace sign down by her bikini line and she said some guy who's like thirty is gonna do it cus he does his own. i really dont want her to do it b/c its stupid and she's not telling our parents and they would definitly say no and everytime she does something bad and my parents find out its like a huge thing, my dad screams and yells and chases her out the front door, my mom freaks out and threatens to call the cops on my dad, my sister cries hysterically and me and my 8 year old brother sit together in my room and try not to panic too much. anyway i really dont want her to go through with it so what can i say to make her not?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
ask your sister why is she doing this if she know if she gets cought whats going to happen. i mean if she know what gonna happen there is a reson why shes doing this. tell her that you dont like seeing her get punished by yelling and getting chased out of the house. tell her you love her and dont want to see her get in trouble becuse this time it could be serios! sry for spelling. hope u dont mind.
]
Tell your sister to wait two god damn years before getting a tattoo. Sure a peace sign is an easy tattoo to do, but she should get it perfessionaly done. Someone who has no idea what there doing could use an unstarile needle, or completely just fuck up her tattoo.
]
Your sister should be made aware that what this guy is doing is, in fact, illegal. A 16-year-old can't get a tattoo without parental consent, and if it's going in an intimate spot like that, then the artist could be brought up on some pretty serious charges. The fact that he's willing to do it anyway should be setting off some alarm bells about how legitimate he is (or isn't). An infection from an improperly used tattoo needle can cause permanent, disfiguring scars - not something I would imagine she wants in her bikini area.
If she is still willing to put herself in danger, then you have an obligation to tell your parents - and that leads to the real problem here. Your sister's desire for a tattoo is nothing compared to the family dynamic you describe. The way your parents and your sister are dealing with problems is not healthy and it is not fair to you and your brother. I suggest that you use this incident as a way to try and explain to them how these clashes are affecting you.
You might start by approaching your mother alone (from what you describe, your Dad is the one who's exploding about things, so your mom may be more able to sit and quietly listen). Tell her that you're worried about something that's going on (give no details yet), but that you're afraid to talk about it because of the inevitable blow-up. Tell her your real feelings: that it seriously frightens you when your dad explodes and when she threatens to call the police on him. Tell her that you want to be honest with her and come to her with problems, but that you can't do it if this is the way they react to them.
Then, ask if she will help you approach your dad about it. She should be willing to do so - if not, then the problem is even worse than it would seem, and you may need to get another adult on your side to intervene. Tell him, with your mother's support, exactly what you told her: that you want to come to them with problems and be honest about what's going on in your life, but that you are terrified of the way they react to things and you need them to promise to try not to fly off the handle. Hopefully, your dad will see your point - again, if he doesn't, you may need help from someone else.
Once you've extracted a promise from them to deal with the problem calmly and rationally, tell them exactly what's going on with your sister.
Hopefully, they will keep their cool and deal with the problem like adults. If not, then you should approach them again afterward and ask how they can expect you to come to them with your problems if you can't trust them to keep their promises. Bear in mind that saying such things might get you on the receiving end of the same kind of screaming fits that are usually directed at your sister, but it's something you need to say anyway. And once again, if this is what happens, then you will need outside help. It might be best to start with another adult family member if there is one you can trust, such as a grandparent. If you have no one else, try a teacher or school guidance counselor.
HOWEVER - bear in mind that if a school official suspects abuse, they are bound by law to report it. Therefore, do not exaggerate the situation, but tell only the truth. If you really are fearful for your safety, then say so, but this may bring a visit from Child Protective Services, which regrettably sometimes makes things worse instead of better.
All things considered, the very best thing you could do - if you can do it - would be to get your sister and brother with you so that all three of you can confront your parents about what their style of discipline is doing to you. If they see that it is affecting the whole family and that all of their kids are upset and afraid, then maybe they will understand that it is something that must change. You might try talking your sister into this course of action before she goes for the tattoo (it might help bring her around if you tell her that Mom and Dad will find out about it anyway, if not from you than from your family doctor or just by noticing it when she goes swimming or something).
To sum it all up: if you and your sister can act like adults about the situation, maybe your example will help your parents act like adults too.
Good luck to you. Please let us know how it turns out.
]
well, tell her exactly what she told you back. like, emphasize how a 30 year old is going to be tattooing her bikini line. if it was me, i would be too scared to do that -- this sounds weird, but if she really doesn't listen, then scare her about the point that the guy is really 30 and you never know what he could do.
]
tell her what you know is going to happen and ask her if she really wants to go through all of that every time she messes up. try explaining to her how much it scares you when your parents fight the way they do and you really don't want to hear or go through all of that again.
i hope i helped.
]
More Questions: |