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am i being too hard on her?
one of my friends, sarah, used to be big into drugs and that, but when she met me, she stopped.she promised me that she wouldnt do drugs again, because she knows how against it i am, and because she didnt want to do them anymore. about six months later, she told me she had smoked a cigarette. i was really mad, but i was glad she told me. she once again promised me she was done with all that. about a month later, she told me she had smoked weed and smokes cigartees twice again. that time i didnt talk to her for like a day, then she, ONCE again, promised me she wouldnt. that was about a week ago, then yesterday, she told me she got "baked" over the weekend and smoked a bucn of cigarettes. she told me that she didnt want to do it again, ect., all the bullshit she told me before. i got reallyyyyyyyy mad at her, and told me not to talk to me until she gets help, comletely stops, and tells her mom about the weekend, because her mom doesnt know. is this being too hard on her? i hate the fact that she does this stuff, and she knows how against it i am, and she always says that she doesnt want to do it, that its an "accedent". i dont fully believe her on it all, but i just want her to stop. i know its not my responsibility to make her stop, but she wont do it on her own. so i just need some imput on if im being too hard on her or not.
thanks for reading my increadibly long question!
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She's lied to you so many times about stopping, so do you think she deserves another chance? I don't. Let her be a druggie & cigg. addict. Let her die when she's 30. Then she'll realize she should've listened to you.
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In a way, yes, and in a way, no.
Your decision to not talk to her until she stops is understandable, but it's not exactly right. You need to support her, not shut her out.
I think that you should talk to her, first and foremost. Sit her down when you two are alone (preferably when you're not at school, or when she's in a bad mood). Let her know that you care about her and that you don't want her to go downhill because of drugs and cigarettes. Tell her that you'll always be there for her if she needs you, and stay true to your word.
Lastly, tell her that it hurts you that she can't be honest with you. She keeps promising that she'll stop, when she just keeps on with the habit.
I know you've probably said that to her plenty of times before, but you should say it again.
If she's going to get help, she needs her parents. You can go with her to talk to them, if she wants you to do that. Just be mature, sincere, and polite.
If she doesn't want to talk to her parents, you need to do that yourself. You can't let her do this alone.
Anybody would be lucky to have a friend like you, and I mean that. Not everyone would do this for their friend.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
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i've been in sarah's situation before, you need to support her, not jus get mad and make her pick you, or the drugs, because honestly it's really hard to stop. She probably really does want to stop, but there's just that little voice that tells her that this will be the last time. each time she does it she gets more and more addicted, tell her that you're strongly against it, make sure she knows it. but if she won't stop try to get her help, like finding out where some meetings are.
but then you could also just say that it's not your life... it's hers. you should just tell her that if she does do them she shouldn't do to many and try really hard to convince her not to get into anything stronger. and just leave it at that. live and let live.
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You're not being hard on her. If she really values your friendship then she will realize that you are strongly against drugs and she will choose. But you should be too hard on her, this is probably a very hard thing for her, and it's hard to quit. Give her support but make sure she knows that you're against it and you won't tolerate it.
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