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daycare drama!
Hi,
I am a home daycare provider. I have been taking care of a 2 year old, Mikey, for almost 2 years now. I NEVER call in sick, I am very dependable. The only time in almost 2 years I have EVER called in is when I had to be hospitalized for 3 days. And even then, I got a back-up sitter so the parents didn't have to miss work. I am cheap too. $100 a week for a 2 year old is unheard of! I am very loyal and loving to all of my daycare kids. I have grown very attached to Mikey, I love him as if he were my own.
I am a very passive person. I let people walk all over me and I know it. I never say what's on my mind, in fear that I will lose the kids or cause an argument. But in this case, I have had it!
I have my own child, who is very sick right now. He needed to see a doctor yesterday. I understand that being a daycare provider means that you have to be dependable, and I am. I put the daycare kids first and waited to take my kid to the doctor until all the other kids were gone to take him to after hours care.
I discovered that my son has strep throat and an ear infection. Strep is very contagious!
Trying to do the right thing, I called all the parents and told them that my son had strep. Being that all the kids were here yesterday anyway, they were probably already exposed. I told the parents that their children are more than welcome to attend daycare, but I just wanted to make the parents aware that my son does have strep. I made it abundantly clear that it was THEIR choice whether they wanted to bring their child to daycare or not.
According to my contract, I am to be paid whether the child attends daycare or not unless I have 2 weeks notice. If I call in sick and cannot provide care for their child, then they do not have to pay.
Mikey's mom called this morning, FREAKING out on me. She says that she cannot find another sitter on such short notice, and if Mikey doesn't come today then she isn't paying me...blah blah. She totally made me feel like I was screwing her and leaving her optionless. I explained AGAIN that it was HER choice to bring Mikey or not to bring Mikey, that I was open and already had other children there. She rudely said she would call me back and hung up on me.
She calls back and rudely says she has absolutely nobody to watch Mikey so she is gonna stay home with him. Before I could even say OK or I am sorry, she hung up on me again!
At this point, my blood is boiling. She has no right to get an attitude with me or to hang up on me. I have always given her child love and I have always respected her. I do not deserve to be treated this way.
But being the passive one, I let it go. Then I saw that I had a voice mail. I checked the message and it was her. Again, she is saying I don't know what to do....this is ridiculous....If Mikey doesn't come I am not paying you, I will not pay for 2 sitters...Blah blah...then rudely slams down the phone.
First of all, if the measley $20 is an issue, all she had to do was talk to me about it. In the contract, I am entitled to it. But I am such a push over that I probably would have waived it because I felt bad.
Secondly, I never told her Mikey could not come. I made that very clear more than once that this was her choice.
So my question is, how do I handle this? I am so angry with her that I wanna scream. How dare you talk to me like that and then hang up on me? I would never do that to her and I don't deserve that. Should I offer to waive the $20? I would have anyway. Should I put her in her place and tell her how I feel or just let it go?
I am really upset about this! I love Mikey and want to continue caring for him, but I know this is going to turn into an arguement if I bring it up.
What would you do???
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Like you, I'm also very passive. Not so much anymore, but I was for the longest time. People will RUN ALL OVER YOU if you let them. So do not let her run all over you. Tell her you understand her frustration.. don't minimize the issue by any means.. I know how hard it is to find a sitter at the last minute, and I know how expensive staying home from work is. But let her know that even though she felt that way, it is NOT okay for her to disrespect you. Be as professional as you possibly can, and let her know she has options. She does not HAVE to come to you for child care. If she wants to find someone else, let her. I know you love the kids.. I mean, I love all the kids I care for.. but you have to be a good example to the kids and stand up for what's right. Why don't you waive half of the $20? That would be a good compromise, I think.
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Well you really like having Mikey, but there is nothing you can do your son has strep!! Its not your fault and she didnt need to take it out on you! But you should try to talk with her before she hangs up on you tell her you would like to say something then stand up for yourself tell her its not your fault and there is nothing you can do!! I hope i could help!
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first of all,i totally understand, i'm angry at her for being angry at you. i think you should see her face to face (not on the phone or she can and will hang up!). and tell her that :
you love looking after mickey and becuase of that have only had one sick days in two years, you tell her (IN SUCH A CALM VOICE THAT SHE SHOULD CRY!)
that the daycare WAS in fact open and you DID in fact have children and were more than willing to look after mickey but wanted to warn her that your child Had caught strep throat just so she knew, because you wanted her to know that, so she could be aware, rather then unknowingly risking mickey getting infected. tell her your sorry (even though she should say that, wewant to PREVENT an argument right?)for the misunderstanding and you hope to put this behind you both because you enjoy looking after such a wonderful kid as mickey and that your sorry for causing her worry, and for her missing a day of a job that helps provide mickey with such a caring and happy home environment.
ok?
gd luck and if you have any questiong email me
chewie x
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Well seeing as it's in your contract that
you need to be paid even if the child isn't
attending the class, you need to tell the
woman that. If you already had other children
at your house (the daycare ones, not your own)
then there's no reason for her to NOT bring
Mikey and to make a big deal out of it. You
supplyed her with efficent daycare, so she willing
didn't take her son. She still needs to pay you
and once things blow over a little,
you need to talk to her about how she
over reacted and if she had such a problem
that she could have just calmly talked
to you aboutit.
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It is very difficult to change your basic character, so if you are normally passive but feel that you should say something, (and I agree you should), it's going to be harder.
If you let this go, what will happen the next time? She will think that she can say whatever she likes, treat you like a subordinate and get away with it.
Without being too confrontational, how about writing her a letter? You can choose your words with care, she won't be able to interupt and you can get your point across calmly and in an adult way. At the moment she is acting like a spoilt child that did not get her own way and is throwing a tantrum. You need to get her up to your level. A carefully worded letter may do this.
Refer her to the terms of the contract and explain calmly that you gave her the option. It may be that she has a fear of illness and your son having strep throat made her panic. Take this possibility into consideration.
Tell her how you feel about Mikey and that you love to have him round but you cannot and will not tolerate her level of disrespect. It has the potential for being a negative influence on the children.
If she has any sense at all she should come round and see that she is not doing herself or Mikey any favours with her behaviour.
In turn, this may help you to be more assertive. Remember though, that your son is the most important child to you, the others have parents of their own to go home to. He will still be with you when the others have grown up and started school. You did everything you could to accomodate the other parents and could not do more. Keep this in mind and feel justified in writing that letter and resolving this situation.
Good luck.
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Hey. Wow I would be really angry too and I don't blame you. You have cared for her child for two years and she treats you this way?! Try to think of it from her point of view to make yourself feel better though. She is probably under a lot of stress since she cannot miss a day from her own work and now doesn't know what to do. She probably would feel really guilty if her son got sick (not your fault of course =)) so she doesn't want to send him to your house. She's probably very angry that she still has to pay you even if your childs sick and can get her son sick. She probably feels that this isn't really right at all and was just very stressed out about a lot of things when she called you. She should have been a little nicer to you after all you've done but I can tell you wrote this when you were very angry and I would call her back when you're a bit calmer and she will be too. Explain to her what you told us (but very calmy) and explain that you understand why she was angry. Say that you would have given her the discount if she wouldn't have jumped down your throat like that and that you felt she treated you very rudely for someone who's been so nice to her child. And offered a great discount for 2 years! If you feel that you won't be able to get through to her on the phone send her a letter. Things are much easier in writing. She should understand and you will see Mikey again if she settles things out with you. I'm sure if you do all of this everything will work out fine. Since you're the agreable type a letter might be best since your courage will be higher when you're writing your feelings. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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My mother is also a daycare provider and she has the same problem sometimes 3 or 4 days of out a week. Sometimes she does jus waive the fee but it the fact that they all know that she doesnt play bout her money and her contract is same as urs dont come still pay they all kno her money is 2 b in a envelope with the date and their name on it on fridays no matter wat and she is very polite 2 all of her parents two. i have even seen her take her parents to court if they leave with out paying explain two her that she signed the contract
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