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BEST FRIEND DEAD!
oh my god og my god oh my god please anyone help i cant even type my best girl friend just committed suicide last night, i'm freaking out. i just heard this morning, she lives two streets away from me, i'm 16/m. she's 15/f. wow i really dont know what to say shes my only friend that ever listened to me and actually cared and i feel like im one of the main reasons she killed herself. she had tons of problems, and lots were with ppl i talked to and stuff. i duno what to do, oh my freaking god. i cant believe this. please help i seriously think i was the main casue of her wanting to die
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hey ive been through the exact same thing x its hard i no my mate killed him self last year on christmas eve eve xx i no you will really miss her and will think that you could of done more etc but the best way to do is to not mourn over whats lost but to remember what was great xx it sounds crazy but why dont you wear something she gave you or keep a hold of something special xx but at that dont hold on to much x hold back from going to far find new friends obv but dont loose old
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hope that helped <3 katiecakes xx
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I can identify with the pain you're feeling right now... I was out of the country over Thanksgiving break, and when I got back to the airport on a Saturday night, I turned my cell phone on when I was in line for Customs and Immigration. And I had a text message from an unknown number (I had to buy a new phone and lost all my contacts). It said, "hey can u see if u can put a special page in the yrbook for sarah" and I thought... why would I do that... so I called one of my good friends... and she told me that Sarah had a brain aneurism on Monday or Tuesday... and her family took her off of life support on Wednesday. The worst part was that I wouldn't have even known about it until school started again if I hadn't have gotten that text message... the next weeks at school felt like a nightmare. And it wasn't until the funeral that I realized... she lived such an amazing life on Earth, and God took her from us for a reason. She was a French horn player. At the funeral, the pastor said, "Maybe God needed another French horn player in his heavenly orchestra..." and it hit me like a freight train. There wasn't an earthly reason that she died... God took her from us for a reason. I still have trouble believing this all happened, and my life has been a blur since that Saturday night. But I hope that you can realize that you are not the reason that your friend passed away. I know it's cliche to say that God needed her for a higher purpose... but I honestly think that's the truth. After going through what I went through, it's a calming thing to think of... that she's looking down on me. I know that nothing I say can make you feel better... it's something you have to cope with over time. And even though it may not feel like it... you have a guardian angel watching over you. I'm not especially religious, either, but I know that your friend would not want you to be so heartbroken. In time, you'll learn to deal with this tragedy, and for now, mourning is one of the best ways. And it's scary that somebody our age (I'm 15) can go so quickly. There was a 45 minute wait at Sarah's visitation. Kids from my school were waiting in a line outside the funeral home, in the rain. There were a lot of people there that I didn't think were very good friends with Sarah, but her death had such a great impact on them that they came to pay their respects. The best thing you can do is be supportive for her family. I hope I gave you some peace of mind... but if I didn't, that's okay too. Things like this take time. But just remember: you have someone to watch over you.
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omg wow that's rough =[ now for someone to actually kill themselves, there's never just one reason. don't think it's your fault because you'll never know for sure. you said she had other problems too, but don't blame yourself! that will only make this harder on you than it has to be. don't you go and do something crazy like she did.. because you saw firsthand how much someone killing themselves can hurt sooo many other people.. so don't you do it. find someone to talk to like a trusted adult.. a parent or something or maybe some kind of support group. having a loved one or someone close kill themselves is a very traumatic thing to go through.. trust me, i know. just don't blame youself because it will only be hurting you more.. since you'll never know the real cause, you should just know that it was not your fault.. she probably had bigger problems that were just too hard to deal with. i'm really sorry to hear about this, and good luck getting through! just try your best to stay positive and don't blame yourself or do anything dumb, okay!? good luckk!!!!!!!! =
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You didnt really say why you think you are the reason she tried to kill herself. But you NEED to have a talk with her. Either to clear out the misunderstand or make up the mistake.
It seems like you really care about her, and I'm sure she does, too. So, talk to her. Don't let anything inbetween stop the friendship.
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There is no way that you are the cause of your friend's death. She made the decision to do this not you. I do feel for you and what you are going through. My Step Father committed suicide. I had detected that something was going on before he did it and even asked him if anything was wrong. He said no everything was great. On the day that he did it my mother called me on the phone and told me how he was behaving and I immediately told her that she needed to go to the office. She didn't go and I didn't go either. He killed himself @ his office. For years I felt guilty that "I" didn't go there to check on him myself. I felt if I had gone myself I might have stopped him. I know now that this was not my fault. He made this decision all on his own. If I'd gone to the office he'd have just not done it while I was there, but probably later.
People who commit suicide are suffering deep depression. They aren't thinking rationally and just aren't seeing things straight. Something that you or I wouldn't think is any big deal or problem can be made into the catalyst. You just can't say. When they are in this state of mind there is nothing you can do unless you catch them in the act somehow.
Imagine how guilty her family must feel. She lived w/them and they didn't detect anything. No telling what they think they did that caused their daughter to do this. What you may want to do is go visit with them. They really need support and love right now during all of this. You and your mother might want to make a casserole or something to take over there for them. This would be of a great help to them right now and give you a chance to visit w/them.
You may find some consolation if you were to speak w/someone who is a mental health professional. They can guide you through the grieving process. There are actual levels of grieving that you will go through to process this and having someone who is trained in this will help. I use to be a bereavement councilor @ a church. You can check w/local churches to see if there is a bereavement group going locally, or ask your councilor at school. They are usually privy to this type of information and can help you find the guidance that you need right now.
I do wish you did not have to experience this. If I could I'd take it from you. You are too young to have to deal w/this. Good luck in all of this and if you have any further questions feel free to contact me.
Namaste!
LULABELLE
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Come on.It's not your fault, snap that out of your head it wasnt your fault.You were good friends.A girl don't take her life because of a good mate hey?.I dont no much about you're friend but what I do know is that she had problems.Ever thought that this is why she took her life?
Dont blame yourself and dont go hurting yourself either.You need to be there for her family.I know your upset, I'm so sorry but do go blaming yourself.
It's invasion of privacy but if she had a diary, then maybe that could help
xxx
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Whoa there...
First, my deepest sympathies to you. This is a terrible loss for you.
I know you are very upset right now, I would be too. But I'm telling you one thing for certain, and that is it isn't your fault.
You were her friend, and I can't possibly see you being the cause of her suicide.
Read this link, it may help you understand the way you feel:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link for the same site. It is a message board/ chat room.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Scroll to the bottom of the page. Type in a user name in the spaces below the bar that says you can type your message there.
I hope you find someone to talk to that will help you through your grieving process.
Just remember, your friend had some problems. She chose to do what she did. You are not to blame.
It may help to talk to her family as well. But you need to find someone to talk to for sure.
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first of all, take a deep breath. Im really sorry to hear about your friend, but you can't blame yourself for her actions. no matter if you were crude to her, which im sure you weren't from the way you sound horrible bout what happened, she chose this. I don't know, she could have gotten help perhaps, but again this was solely her decision. It is NOT your fault. i know you are probably feeling like crap, you feel guilty, and you feel really depressed, but honestly the best thing you can do is try to carry on. Being depressed and stressed and removing yourself from your everyday life, won't solve anything, and it won't bring her back. My suggestion to you, is talk to someone you trust. Maybe your mum or father, or even a counselor or teacher, or even a friend. You need to talk about what you are feeling so it doesn't destroy you from the inside. and if there is anything i can do, please just let me know. im really sorry about what has happened. please take care,
*Z*
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i know how you feel , i really do . i had a friend that killed herself and i mean we had been friends for about 14 of my 16 years . i thought it was my fault too. what you have to realize is that it wasn't your fault.you guys were best friends. you didn't cause her death, she did.you weren't the cause of it. she wouldn't want you to think that it was.keep her in your heart and mind forever and don't worry wheather you caused her death or not because you didn't.
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I doubt if you were her best friend you are the reason she killed herself. You probally kept her even if you didn't know it from doing it sooner. I believe when it is your time its your time, but sometimes someone can save you prevent the inevatable from happening a little longer. She probally held on a little longer because you were there for her. I am so sorry for your lose. Don't blame yourself, everything happens when it is the time. You gave her friendship someone to talk to, a place to feel safer. You can't blame yourself.
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