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I need yr advice ??
It's the first time to contact you but I really need yr advice here specially I need such advice from a mature female. I'm 26 years old from Egypt and I'm in love with a women 25 years my senior. She is from TX. We first met in a chat room and we were very nice to each other. Actually I met her after some emotional troubles and depression I was stuck in before our meet with 12 months or more but after I met this women I really found a life should be lived and she helped me to heal my soul. We know each other since last March 2006 and after 3 months we both felt that chemistry between us and she was the first telling me that she die at me and she loves me (as I think), and I also was feeling the same way. She only has one 23 years old daugther who's working in another state, so my lover stays alone at home and she told me that she has met before other guys in chat rooms and most of them told her that they love her also and want to marry her and she had told me that before telling me that she loves me. When she has told me about those guys I explained her that there are alot of guys from outside the US who use this way to get marry with women from the US or Europe for immigration purposes.
I told her that I'll not be ready to leave my country now because I have family here I have to take of and I cannot leave them and she suggested to come and live here but I also found it not good idea because life her is not easy at all.
I have a job here and I like it and I'm afraid if I'll move to the US that I'll never find a similar job but I told my lover that I'm ready to work in any job and will not a problem.
She also as most of the older women have worries about the comments of the friends and family after she talked to them and there are some with and others are against. Her daughter has no rejection for this matter and all she wants is to find her Mom is happy in her life after 2 bad marriages she suffered from.
I know that you will find this a crazy idea because the age difference between us but I see her as the most beautiful women on earth and I guess she finds me that kindhearted young man who loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. But believe me, I don't mind with her age or the other people's opinion even we talked about having children and I told her that I don't want kids because this could be dangerous to her life and all I want is she.
So, please give me yr advice and I'm waiting for any other details or explains you might need.
Regards,
M. AAMER
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It sounds like you truly care for this woman because you're thinking rationally, focusing on what would be best for both of you instead of just focusing on what both of you want. That takes a lot of patience and a lot of maturity, so I commend you for that.
Unfortunately, you're in a bit of situation where a change is definitely going to happen, and if you want this to work out in your favor, you're going to have to be the one to make the change. I suggest taking some time to think about what changes you are willing to make.
Some people are satisfied with long distance / online relationships. This woman doesn't sound like she's one of those people. She sounds like a woman who needs a lot of support - emotionally and physically. Some people need physical contact to be assured that they'll be OK.
If you're not in the position to where you're willing to move to America to be with her, you need to tell her that all you can be right now is a supportive friend from afar. Sure it'll hurt the both of you, but she'll be happier in time when her needs are being met.
If you want to be the one who meets her needs, you should make the move. I don't think you should accept her invite for her to move there because she has a daughter who still needs her mother. You, on the other hand, are a bright, young man who might be ready to move.
If you're not ready to move, the relationship is going to have to end unless the two of you are willing to continue to wait for each other. I think both of you will be happier when you settle on a decision, so make the time to talk to her and come to an agreement of some sort.
I hope everything works out for you. You seem like such a nice guy, and if you do come here to America, we'd be lucky to have someone like you here. :)
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First of all, I don't find this crazy at all.
But that may be because I'm a strong believer in love and I always wish for it to work out for not only myself, but all others that have questions or trouble with it.
Well I'm going to use my favorite quote here:
"We do not get unlimited chances
to have the things we want and this I know,
nothing is worse than missing an oppurtunity
that could've changed your life."
This really isn't something most of us could answer.
This is your decision.
Do you want to risk it all for love?
Do you want to leave your family behind?
but again, refering to my quote above,
nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could've changed your life forever.
You will most likely be able to find a job that satisfies you in America.
If you have expirience in the area you are in now,
it will make it even easier.
You need to talk to her and decided these things, because either way (her moving to be with you or you moving to be with her) will be life changing.
You need to look at all aspects,
Whose moving will have the bigger impact on not only themselves but the other as well?
And as for the opinions of others,
they shouldn't matter.
They don't matter.
Others don't understand the love you have,
therefore, they shouldn't judge you :]
I hope this helps, even in the least.
&& Good luck!
<3 Laura.
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I don't think the age difference is a problem as long as it doesn't bother you or her.
It might be easier for her to join you in Egypt than for you and your family to join her in the US, especially if you have a good job. Many Americans love Egypt, and it might not be a problem for her. If you come to the United States, you might find it hard to bring your family with you.
Also, it is very expensive in the United States, and jobs here generally don't pay very well. Another problem in the US is that there is a lot of prejudice against people from the Middle East.
I hope things work out well for you and your lover.
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