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Face Value
Do you think people should take comments made to them at face value and not read into what was said to them. If
you said yes why yes and if you said no why no. I will give you an example of what I mean: If Alice says to Sally; I
noticed that Diane looks terrible in blue; should Sally just take it to mean that Alice thinks Diane looks terrible in
blue or do you think Sally should read into that remark and take it personally.
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Overall, I vote for innocent until proven guilty. In other words take things at face value until you are pretty sure they are not meant that way.
I think its important for people to determine if a comment had something behind it or not. However, way too many people try to read things into statements that were meant exactly as they were said.
So, one needs to find the right balance tending towards the side of caution (i.e. giving the person in question the benefit of the doubt for as long as it does not become unreasonable).
In your example, not knowing any of the background between Alice and co, I would say to take it at face value.
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Well, from what Alice says to Sally, it isn't said in a rude manor. Just simply that Diane looks terrible in blue. I don't think it should be taken personally as a hurtful comment. Maybe Diane DOES look terrible in blue. I know I look terrible in red or pink.
As for reading into every comment made, I would say this is highly unwise. If it is a rude comment such as "Blue makes Diane look like a high riding bitch" well, that should be read into. But "Diane's hair doesn't look nice that way" isn't necessarily rude, it may just be an honest comment.
If you spend your life trying to read between the lines of what everyone says, you are going to worry yourself and upset yourself for no reason. You are just going to make yourself think the world is against you.
If it helps, just remember the old saying, opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.
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It is very important to protect your best and truest friends from dangers of all kinds. Insults, rumors, threats, or harmful self-abusive decisions. However, it is also a good idea to just sometimes leave the situation alone, and let work itself out. There are many times when this should be done, but it all depends on who said what, how it was worded, and why it was said. If someone says that they think your friend looks bad in something, simply kindly disagree with them, and ask the person why they think that about your friend. But it is also very important to try and make sure the conversation is nothing more than a friendly conversation, reguarding one's looks. Try to make sure the conversation does not turn into an argument over something stupid.
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