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Parents..[this one is for GOOD advice givers!]
My parents are overprotective. They won't let me go places when there are gonna be boys there. My brother, however, has a girlfirend and he can go anywhere with him (he's going to be 16 later this month.) I am 14- and when he was 14, he was able to do stuff. Any advice to say to them? HELP PLEASE...:'(
-Jam
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AGH! i rember when i was that age and it SUCKED! my parents espically my dad were the same way.
and i have 3 brothers.. so haha even worse. it seemed like they got to do anything and i wasnt even allowed to recieve calls from guys.. let alone hangout with them. honestly i didnt really be able to start doing anything untill i was about 15. it was a total different ball game its like that one year made them trust me so much more. so really i think the most effective way to deal with this is just wait, i mean boys are all drama anyways.. seriously trust me.. but if your not satisfied with that advice i suggest you be open with your parents and tell them whats up. even though it might be hard and kinda embarssing its worth it because they will respect that you were being strait up. tell them what you want in an adult matter,, they will be so impressed with your maturity that they might comprimise with what you think you should be allowed to do!
be open minded though;; they love you,, they want to protect you from boys.. i know if i had a daughter your age i would be just as hard on ya
so even if they dont give you exactically what you want dont beat your self up about it ,, its better than nothing!!
good luck hun =]
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First off, boys are a totally different species in a parents mind. Because most are more aggresive and less worrying in general to girls parents tend to be overbearing on girls. They are afraid that we'll get raped, murdered, taken hostage, ect. just because we are female. When your with guys parents tend to believe that the guy will lead them on have sex with a girl and then you'll die, crap like that.
You should earn your trust first. Talk to them, make an agreement one which you can get along with and so can they. Say you want to go to the movies with a group of friends inculding guys. Tell them that it's just a movie (maybe eating at some place which is more safe than a movie because there are many people around and in the light). Make sure you bring up the point that it is just a movie, there and back. Make sure to call them before the movie and if so before the meal. Then afterwards call them when it's over. They will see that you are resposible and diligent in calling them and keeping them in the know. Even if it's just hanging out at the mall or at another friends house keeping in contact will help them earn your trust. It is really just baby steps.
Tell them that you are a good person and there is nothing about you they have to doubt. Your friends, tell them they are also good people and students(parents love that stuff) and nothing wrong would happen. Asure them that you will be calling them to keep in contact so that they know everyhing going fine.
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You need to show your parents that you're responsible and mature. Make sure they know that you can be trusted. If you have a cell phone, make sure it is always turned on. Let them know where you're going and whos going to be there. If you'd like to hang out with boys, ask your parents if you can have one of your friends over thats a boy and tell them that they can shaperone. Hope I helped!
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your parents are just being over protective because youi are the youngest child (we think) and usually the youngest child is the one that gets watched over the most. but you have to stand up for yourself talk to your parents in a nice calm way though, dont fight with them. That would make them mad and then you would not be able to do anything. tell your parents that you would not do anything your not supposed to, take a cellphone and have them check up on you every 1 1/2 or so. but most of all you have to show them you are responsible or they wont let you do anything. Hope we helped you. leave me a comment to see if you are allowed to go anywhere boys go.
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It's absolutely necessary to have a serious conversation with your parents. Try to be calm and DON'T fight with them. Discuss the reasons why they act like this.
1) Have they (or presumably just your mother) ever talked to you about sex? Did they make sure you know everything about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases? Do they believe that you're responsible enough to take care of yourself and not do anything foolish? If you want your parents to stop being so overprotective, the answer to these three questions must be YES.
2) Another possibility is that they don't want you to engage in sexual activity at all. You have to ask them if that's the case, and if it is, ask yourself if you are willing to respect their wish. If you are, let them know, and demand that they trust you. You have every right to, provided that you've never betrayed their trust before.
3) Last but not least, they could be afraid that somebody might hurt you. Talk to them and ask them what would make them more secure about your safety. Coming back home before certain hour? Always being in company of other girls or guy friends that they know well and can trust them? Not going out to dangerous places (where there are drugs, drunk people etc)?
Once you work out the set of rules you can agree with, you will have to obey them if you want your parents to trust you. That will earn you more points for another conversation in a year or two, when you will ask for more liberty and less strict rules. ;)
Let me know if it works out for you!
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The best advice I could give you would be to confront your parents about how you feel. Explain to them that you appreciate them caring so much, but you think they are being a little to protective. If this doesn't work, try bringing up your brother. Mention to them that you know your brother had certain priveledges at your age, and you expect the same.
If worst comes to worse, just deal with it and be glad your parents care about you enough to be overprotective. They are just looking into your best interest. <3
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