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This girl
I don't know if this is in the right category but anyways. I'm 14/f and I'm bi but I'm not out yet. But my 90% of my friends are gay or bi. But anywhos, I don't wanna come out anytime soon because I'm just not comfortable enough to say I'm bi. But getting to the point. There's this girl...let's call her jane. Well, she's a grade level above me and I really like her. We basically met through our good friend who is gay. But that's not the point. I don't know if she's bi or not. It seems like she has a little interest in girls. But I'm not sure. She gave me an unexpected hug today saying I was great with theorchestra (and oh my, no one cares about the orchestra so that comment was a shocker)
I don't know. I really like her and wanna go out with her but I don't know if she's bi or if she's even interested. Maybe she's just friendly. But I need to know if she is bi or not and if she likes me and what not. I was thinking about making a fake screen name and asking her and telling her that a certain girl likes her..blah blah. Is that a good idea? I'm willing to talk online with anyone who gives me their screen name!!
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It's kind of hard to expect other people to be open abut their sexuality when you aren't be open with yours. For all you know, this girl DOES like you and has the exact same worries you do.
While coming out is a really personal choice, it'll happen anyway if you make the decision to date a girl. Maybe you would benefit from some time thinking about what makes you uncomfortable with coming out, when you imagine you will (if ever), and what it might be like if people knew you were bisexual.
Because, essentially, it's going to be much harder to start a possible relationship with this girl if you are uncomfortable with your sexuality. While no one can wave a magic wand and give you the answers, perhaps you can find someone to speak with about this issue?
Being gay or bi is perfectly normal and very okay. Even when surrounded by other gay/bi people it can be hard or scary to come out. When you add all this to the excitement or fear about a new possible relationship, it's a lot to deal with.
Take a deep breath and decide if you want to take action - or if you want to just sit back and see what happens. Action might be the idea you've already thought of, or something else which you decide is a better choice. Whatever way you go, it's always taking a risk to open up to a new person.
I wish you the best of luck!
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Being 14, I would first say to be careful who you date, girl or guy. Also, be sure you are not being influenced by your friends and that this is what you really want. That being said, I would just ask this girl if she is gay/bi or not. First, become her friend, which it sounds like you already did. You should be able and comfortable to ask your friends anything. If you are not comfortable asking her straight out (no pun intended) tell her you are doing a research/survey about the feelings of prejudicial feeling towards same sex couples (or something like that). See what she has to say. I wouldn't go with the screen name thing, because often people joke around on the computer and say things that they don't mean, especially while talking to a "stranger". If you find out that she is not interested, don't worry, as there are plenty of fish and fish-ettes in the sea;)
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The best way to find out is to flat out ask her. Become friends with her and just casually bring it up. Hope I helped!
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the best way to find out? ask her her opinion on gay rights, if she says shes against you automatically know shes straight (its pretty much the opposite for guys btw) if she says shes for, talk to her a bit more about it, she should eventauly let something slip that will clue you in to her orientation
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That sounds like a good idea, just don't even let your friends know in on that plan though, cause if you even tell one person or if someone finds out who you are, they're probably going to say something to her, and then she'll know you like her ( this is just knowing people from experience and the way the handle gossip, haha ).
But also I think you should just ask her friend who introduced the two of you. Just be like,"I was just wondering, is she bisexual?" And see what her friend asks. And I don't think your friend'll question you, because that could just be an honest question coming from you. I've asked my friends before if a person's bi or straight or what, and they never accused me of liking them or being bisexual ( well, i'm not and they know that but you get the point ).
But sooner or later if you do come out to your friends ( and that's good you'll be able to come out to friends who understnad unlike most would and they'd make a deal out of it ), then you could just tell her and see how she handles it. If you ntoice then she's giving you more attention and is flirting with you, then she may be bi, and she was just afraid to act upon her feelings.
So just take one of those ideas and see how itg oes.
Good luck, and I hope I helped!
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