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friend tries too hard to be popular
One of my best friends, who I've known since we were toddlers, is starting to really get on my nerves. She tries to be like the popular people ALL the time. She doesn't buy clothes from the "it" stores, but she tries to act like her clothes are the best... like, she rolls up her sweatpants like everyone else does (which I hate, but that doesn't really matter) and tries to make her hair have that bump on the bottom when she wears a ponytail. But... it comes off looking reaaaaally bad on her. Then, when she's talking to people, you can tell that she thinks that she's better than them, even when she's obviously not. And she always ditches me for her other friends just so she can be "popular"... like, my other best friend waits for me at the end of all of the classes we have together, but this friend just walks out the door talking to a different person every class. It really ticks me off. Although, when we're alone, she acts like she always used to. I think its great that my friend wants to try and be... cooler... but she's really hurting her other friends feelings, since I know she ditches my other best friend (we're a trio) all the time. And the thing is... her new friends are almost all geeky and nerdy. What should I do??? I don't want to seem like I'm telling her what to do.
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Aw, that really sucks. You just need to tell her how you are feeling. Thats the only way to handle it really. You dont have to tell her what to do, just tell her what she is doing and how you feel about it. Dont yell at her and stay calm.
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my advice for you on this one is to just let your friend try to do the whole "popular" thing, dont really tell her what to do just let her experience it for herself. If she ever needs you be there for her and if she asks you how she looks tell her honestly. Most likely she'll realize that its not worth trying to be popular when she has a bestfriend that she loves and that will stick by her no matter what. It may take some patience with her but i think its something that your friend has to learn for herself, that being popular isnt everything and actually having 2 close best friends is way better than having all the aquaintences in the world.
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Funny thing, i'm going through the exact same thing and i've been through it before. One friend of mine actually ditched me for 'cooler' people. The current one, she's doing the same as what your friend is doing. All I'm doing, is leaving it right now. See how it goes. If she doesn't say anything say/do anything by... Christmas time, or after Christmas then maybe you should say something to her. Ask her why she's leaving you out, does she think that she's to good for you. etc etc. I don't know if this will help, but it's what i'm doing. I'm doing this because it gives my friend space, the last time someone ditched me i was practcally begging her not too and not only did it not work, i barely had any dignity by the end of it. Hope this helps.
- Emma XO
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oh gosh. i had the same problem like..three years ago.
what i've learned was that she'll figure out sooner or later how ridiculus she's acting. and they'll be a point when she's with her 'popular' crowd and they ditch her..she'll realize who her real friends are..
at least thats what happened with me and my bestfriend..i guess it depends on the person.
otherwise, try confronting her about it..
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First of all, if this girl wants to try 'being cool' just let her. If her new hairstyles look bad, and her new fashion taste isn't exactly up to par, that's her problem. She's the one looking bad, not you so don't worry. If she's just trying to improve her looks, that's one thing. But when she ditches her friends to go try to fit in, it can become a problem. If she's hurting your feelings, don't let her. You and this other friend could ditch her for once, and you just wait; she'll come crawling back to you when her other so called friends leave her. Give her a dose of her own medicine, and i'm sure that will do the trick.
If you want to take a less brutal route, talk to her. Tell her you are sick or her ditching you and your not going to put up with it anymore. Maybe that will make her think, if not you just saved yourself from being in a hurtful friendship.
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