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my fatherr
ok well where do i start. when i was 12 my dad was my gero andi loved him more than anything, then he told me that he had been an alcoholic for many years and all the nights i spent with him he was drunk. my worl came crashing down and i still dont know how to get over it. On last year on thanksgiving week he went to a rehab to get better, and he did. Now i am 13 and still love my ad very much buti t seems like all of a sudden he just doesnt care about how many months he has been sober and just recently i evesdropp on my parents convos (puh lesse who doesnt) andi heard parts were he would say "i dont want her to smell it on my breath." usualy i would talk to my mom about it but she has been lying about thiss sitchuation. i cant trust them. and now today i heard my dad downstairs and i thought he was drinking something so i told my mom and she started talking to him and of corse, i evesdropped again b/c i dont want to not know things that are going on with my dad b/c i love and care about him. well i heard her go "we cant keep lying, they know, our kids know this" I really dont know what to do rite now and please dont say talk to them about it b/c for some reason i cant, and i dont know why i usually tell them everything it is just this sbject that i cant say anything about. PLEASE HELP!
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There's no way to correct your feelings without talking to someone about it. You need to tell your dad that you know about his problem and that you're concerned for him. Make sure to let him know that you and your family will be there for him whenever he needs you. Then, ask him to check himself into a rehabilitation center again. Trust me, once you talk to them, you'll feel much better. Good luck to you, your father, and the rest of your family.
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I know how you feel when parents keep important things that might change your life from you. But this is how I came to overcome this is keeping big secrets from them. I know this is not a very positive way to deal with it but if you cant talk to them then what else is their. Well for example say you've lost your virginity, dont tell them, start sneeking out without telling them. start becoming a rebel and evryday get worse, without realing being bad...just make them think you're bad. I know it sounds dumb..but you have to beleive me it works....they're going to ask why you are acting so different and you are going to say "because I have nobody to trust" they are going to start feeling guilty and then they will start sharing things with you. TRUST ME!! And once you notice the change in their attitudes you can slowly go back to normal...
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Being sober is a hard thing. Your dad relies on alcohol and to break away from something he relies on is a hard thing and you should understand that but your dad should also understand that what he's doing and lying is a bad affect and influence on you.
This might get you in trouble but it also might help you. Take a beer can or something, empty it and save the can in your room. Everyday, take one beer, empty it and save it. Make sure your parents can't find them too easily. Then one day, just throw a beer can into your trashcan or into the bathroom trash can that you use--just make sure they can find it. One day they'll find it and remember that beer was going missing then they'll connect it and talk to you.
When they do, say "Why are you punishing me? Dad's doing it but I don't see him punished. I'm just following his example to be an alcoholic why not start right now."
Then they'll get the point that his drinking is influencing you in a bad direction and that he needs to change..unless they're really obtuse..
IF you can't talk to them, find facts about how harmful alcohol is online, print out a fact and a picture to correspond to that, print it out and put it on your dads car or whereever he'll see it...one fact each day. Or write to him asking what he'd do if you were to follow his example and start drinking.
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i no how hard this must be for you you realllly love your dad but you feel he is letting you down by doing this but you cant tell him because you dont want to upset him.... i no how it is. what you should do is look at what is happening around you and help your dad by reminding him you love him and he can get through it you should also use it later in life when people want you to start drinking because these problems usually get sent through the family the problem with your mom lying is hard because she dosent want you to be hurt but she probly wants totell you just dosent know how if you need any more help just ask
good luck
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try this. Go up to your father and tell him that your not worried about how he was an alcoholic for all them years all your worried about now is getting to start over again with him and have a truthful relationship with him. then ask him if there is anything he wants to tell you and not to be ashamed of it. there is nothing to hide anymore.
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