Question Posted Tuesday November 28 2006, 11:59 pm
I just found out that my hubsand is cheating on me and he told me that it is over between him and the other woman I don't know if i should beleive him or just file for a divorce
i've been with my hubsand for 29 years and he just cheated on me with another woman 3 years ago and moved with her and i took him back after 8 months and now all over again
hollie_xo answered Wednesday November 29 2006, 4:20 pm: Well i would love to tell you to give him a second chance.. or third in this case but unfortunately once a cheater always a cheater. In his mind he knows that he got away with it the first time so when he was about to cheat on you the second time he wasnt as worried. I am really really sorry for what happend, but im sure that you can do better. No girl deserves to be with a cheater its like letting him win the game even though he played an unfair turn. Women that stay with men that treat them badly dont think they deserve any better but that really isnt true, you will find someone that will treat you with respect and never dream of two-timing you. take my advice and file for a divorce don't let him get the best of you.
Xo_Blondii_oX answered Wednesday November 29 2006, 2:40 pm: "once a cheater, always a cheater"
i agree with the others leave him. It may be hard but in the end it'll be well worth it. Because all hes gonna do is bring you one heartache after another. Do your best not to take him back, he'll realize what that he's missing out on a real great person. Hope i helped! [ Xo_Blondii_oX's advice column | Ask Xo_Blondii_oX A Question ]
Imperialistic answered Wednesday November 29 2006, 4:31 am: Leaving him is a good route to take except that 29 years is a long time. I would recommend you get a seperation (just so it hits him that you're serious) if you have children though, just so it'll make the transition easier.
The important thing is to not let it get you down, you were faithful for him for three decades and he's an ass enough to cheat on you? You can count on yourself to attract someone who appreciates that.
I actually want to give you a link on this letter that I found today because it reminds me of your situation. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I honestly can't believe men are still pulling this ****. They have no idea how good they have got it. [ Imperialistic's advice column | Ask Imperialistic A Question ]
Erronius answered Wednesday November 29 2006, 1:17 am: While 29 years is something I can only hope to equal at some point in the future, I'm not sure that its important enough to stay together for.
Having happened twice now, this could easily become a pattern, and I doubt you would want to dance this dance ever again.
In the end though its your call, it could be that you love him enough to give him another chance. But, to be honest, I hope you wouldn't simply be putting yourself into a position for more of the same.
Myself, as a man, I don't understand this kind of behaviour. I am of the mind that if I am so disinterested in my current relationship that I would be tempted to cheat, then it is a relationship I need to end before moving on. My fear for you would be that given what I just said, I cannot deny the possibility that your husband is actually finished with your marriage and is simply trying to play both sides. [ Erronius's advice column | Ask Erronius A Question ]
karenR answered Wednesday November 29 2006, 1:01 am: I have to agree with MaxwellsSilverHammer. Once, you can forgive. Twice is more like a habit. If he cared he wouldn't have done it a second time.
I hate to say it but it seems like you are the place to land between other women. Get rid of him and get on with your life. Its to short for all this. :) [ karenR's advice column | Ask karenR A Question ]
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