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Who am I?
14/f
Well i'm in the 8th grade, and I dont have a best friend... is that bad??? I'm not saying that I am lonely and I have no friends, I have plenty of friends.. just none of them are actually my BEST friends. Arn't best friends supposed to be there for you when you're feeling low? and they always come and sleepover and you always share secrets with each other? welll it seems like whenever I go up to my other friends, they are always busy with 'their' other best friends. It's like they have no intrest in me anymore. My brother just moved away to college and my cousin is staying with us for a while. I have a dog, could that be my best friend? I just feel like I have a lot of depression going on in my life and I really need somebody to talk to. yes, i know.......... I can talk to you on advicenators, but I need somebody not only for talking... but to share my happy moments with, a best friend
and I know you'll say talk to your family.... but the thing is.. both of my parents are ALWAYS working... they leave the house way earlier than I do... and the next time I see them is when i'm asleep. Its just not fair. My brother is in college, and my cousin is always hanging out with his friends or finding some excuse not to be in the house. I'm really sad that I dont have a best friend, and I'm a very busy person.... could that be the reason why I dont have a best friend? cause i'm always busy and they never have any time with me????????
You might say join a school activity and meet friends there... but TRUST ME! I dont make friends easily, lets just say I get SUPER SUPER SUPER nervous when I meet new people, or give a speech to a class. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!! I FEEL SO ALONE.... I always see kids in the hallway, hanging out with their best friends, and I am really sad that I dont have a best friend there by me. WHAT SHOULD I DO????????????
OH AND IF YOU COULD: ANOTHER QUESTION= HOW DO I GET RID OF THE FEAR OF MEETING NEW PEOPLE AND GIVING OUT SPEECHES??????????????? THANKS SOOOOOOOOO MUCH... I KNOW THIS WAS LONG, BUT THANKS
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I didnt have a best friend last year, when I was in 8th grade either. I had many close ones but not a best one. You have to trust me, you'll find one eventually. Just pick one friend you like the best and try to hang out with her (or him) a lot. Try not to show any annoying habits at first. And hopefully you will have a new best friend.
For giving speeches.. i hate that too. You just need to relax and remember that everyone else is just as nervous.
For meeting new people just be yourself. Try to be more outgoing and start up a fun conversation, make a few jokes, and be nice. And remember when you are meeting someone that they could turn out to be your new best friend, or a new friend!
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Ha, yep. I'm exactly like that.
Now I used to have no friends. No best friends.
I would stand in front of a mirror and wonder why I had no friends.
Okay, well I'm exagerrating a bit. I had friends. Just not that many.
Anyways, I only get nervous when I think about what I'm going to say and try to plan it out so that I don't sound stupid. Now hun, don't do that like me. You just gotta put yourself out there! Don't think about it at all. All you do is go up to one of your friends and start having a random conversation. If you say something stupid, don't freak out. It normally ends up as an inside joke between you two, which will make you guys closer friends.
Pick some of your friends that you think you are the closest with. Invite them to go see a movie with you at the theater and then to spend the night. Be crazy. Inside jokes will bring you closer, like I said, so don't forget that.
If they decide to tell you a secret, you have to keep it. Even if you think someone HAS to no. Just write it down on a piece of paper and rip it up. Ha, maybe it will make you feel like you've let it all out. Who knows. But, you can't tell anyone the secret no matter what it is because you might just throw your friendship right out the window. Secrets also bring you closer. Maybe you can share one with a friend?
Stand up for her if someone's rude or a jerk to her. She'll appreciate it and it won't bother her so much.
Now don't go crazy on me here soon if you don't get a best friend within a week. It takes time. At least three months, but normally more.
If you ever start getting the insane thought in your head that you're ugly. You better slap yourself or something because it isn't true. You sound like a wonderful person and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
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holy wow. you sound EXACTLY like me when i was in 8th grade (last year). i didnt really have a best friend, but i still had friends. im the same way,, i get really depressed a lot and i get nervous when i meet new people. all you can really do is just try to talk to new people even though it might be hard. the only real way to overcome it is by doing it as often as you can. the more you talk to new people, the more you'll feel comfortable around them. keep trying to make plans with your current friends and eventually they have to have an opening in their schedule. just remember that a best friend is more than just a label. im sure that a lot of the people in your school just like to have the label of being "best friends", but really arent that close on an emotional level. but trust me,, you arent alone. i know A LOT of people that dont have best friends. it isnt just you. well this is getting super long,, but good luck with everything!!
<3 beth
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Ok well best friends are very hard to come by, its like finding a needle in a haystack. The way it was for me was as soon as i moved i knew nobody but when i met the best friend that i have now i was really shy. So as for the shy thing try hanging with other people, and meet knew people. I know in your question you told me that you dont make friends easy but conquering your fear and speeching to groups will help you meet new people, it helps calm your nerves. I use to be super nervous. Also tell your parents that you need to talk to them about something, and that they need to make time to talk to you. They could probably help you throgh some of the stuff that you are feeling. It is just an idea and I really hope I helped. Just remember best friends and very very very hard to find, so dont feel to sad, my best friend doesn't even live in my state. But just have fun and meet new people and your fear of giving speeches will soon go lessen (sp?) I really do hope i helped =)
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I used to have that story (sort of) I moved to Ireland in third grade, and i had plenty of friends in america then, but wen i got back a year later, i had no friends. no best friend and no friend. there were some new students and i was the shyest girl evr. plus my parents were in the midst of a divorce so i could nevr do anything but go to skool and come home. but i made frends with this new grl and now we are bffs! my family drama cleared up and i hang out with her every othr weekend wen im not with my dad JOIN THEATRE IT HELPED ME BECOME LESS SHY! haha. no, seriously it did. i joined my skools drama club and now im in my local theatre and I learned that I can really sing. =)
you could deepen ur relationship with your already-friends, too. you hav to put the effort in.
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maybe you should try hanging out with your friends more. Then get to know them in ways you didnt before. You can come closer to them and you will hang out more and you know, do things together. I was in the exact same situation but you know, the friends you have now that dont just come up and talk unless you start the conversation arent going to be the ones that you will enjoy. I know this from past experience. Just hang out with one of your close friends, (sit by them at lunch, talk on the phone, email, be class partners...etc...) Trust me, i did this and before i knew it, i had some friends. Also it's not nessicarliy bad to not have a BEST friend because you can still feel cheered up and they will be there for you. Just try it out. it dosent work on all people but some people it does, (including me) so just have fun with your life and make friends day by day. It will get easier soon. You can email me or whatever if you have any other questions, just feel free to ask them. I hope i helped.
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