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16/m/virgin Junior year in High School/ lonely
:Hey, im a m/16 virgin, Junior in High School
-i have never had a serious relationship, at all. When i was in 8th/9th grade or so i had a few "intimate" moments but nothing worth mentioning. Right now im quite lonely. betrayed by a few of my close friends (not really there fault, just time takes it toll) I tend to be a "friend" of many people. never have I once gotten sexually close or even talked about this to anyone.
At this point I am deperate for a sincere relationship. I am the type of person that would ask a girl out, as long as it was a 50% chance or higher I would get a "yes". But at this point I am pretty sure that not one girl would even consider me.
I'm not amazingly attractive, nor do I have the IQ of a genious. But I'm kind, smart, and caring.
I tend to question alot about life, and If a girl or friend in general cant hold there own ground, I may just lose that person from my life because I'm to damn annoying.
What should I do? I know alot of people as "friends". Not one would consider even going on a few dates with me to get to know me. I am a bit lonely and I feel that if I dont find someone soon, to at least raise me up a little higher, I might become depressed, or extremly lonely.
Since I'm a Junior I have a little more pressure/respect for my decision and I can justify what I do/am (Single/Not -Single)
How can i get what i want, a serious relationship with a great girl that will understand me. and someone who i can take an intrest in and help too (Im not selfish ^_^)
any advice at all would be great!
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Look forward to college. My guess is that you've been in the same town with most of the same people for most of your life. Once you get to college, you'll meet a ton of new people. They will all be close to your age and there will be more that share your particular interests, characteristics, and maturity level. I didn't have my first relationship until my first year of college when I was 18 and a half. I couldn't be happier that I waited. It sucks not having someone, but someday you'll look back and be so happy that you didn't have to go through all the crap that most other people had to in high school. Good luck and try looking at the positive side. :)
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even from your question, you sound like a smart guy. believe it or not, a lot of people go through this. im a junior also & many of my guy friends feel the same way you are, but they juss don't tell anyone. put it this way- i don't get along with girls VERY well. i mean i have a few close friends, but i REALLY get along with guys. i'm not sure why. they open up to me & basically tell me things they wouldn't tell other guys. my advice would be try being friends with them first. for a successful serious relationship, you should really be friends first. why?? because if it doesn't work out, you can always go back to be friends and plus you'll know them better if you were friends to start with. just try it. don't go out searching for someone. you're very young. focus on school and see what comes your way. college is more of a right setting to find someone to have a relationship with. i've been dating my bf for a few years & everythings great because we were friends from the start. get to know girls you want to be friends with. if they see you as wanting to be their friend, rather than wanting to be your bf, they'll open up easier and give you a chance. also remember, you have time. you're still in hs. good luck!
-hope that helped!♥
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You're only 16...don't say you're going to become depressed or anything because it sounds pitiful, depression is a wrong term for this matter, not having a girl is nothing to get "depressed" about.
There is always someone out there for someone and in time you two will mett together sooner or later. You still have timein high school and college and basically life so just wait for time to bring you that person. Since you're only 16, I imagine you are looking for 14-16 year old girls? Anywhos, all I have to say is that not everyone is looking for such a commited relationship already and you need to loosen up about it.
And if you want to find someone you think you can share the same interest with, join a club/activity that you're interested in and you'll find someone that you can really get a long with.
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I understand where you are coming from. I know what it's like to be lonely and want a meaningful relationship. Don't be TOO hard on yourself, because there are girls out there that would be, if not are, interested in you.
I hate to say it - but going out of your way to search for a girl that you think will satisfy a temporary lonely feeling, may leave you more dissapointed than you had anticipated. Not because you are incapible of being seen as attractive or intelligent, but because a sincere relationship is not something you can force.
You can't rely on another person to "raise you up." Though we live in a society where who you're associated with in one way or another could increase your popularity or 'social status'... These types of things do not promise security, sincerity, or freedom from depression and sadness. In fact, dating someone for reasons other than because you truly care about them, could seriously backfire on you.
These high school years, a girlfriend, sexual intimacy, etc, may not be as important as they seem. There is more to life than the pressures of the world around you.
God bless,
Megan
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You sound like a SNAG- Sensitive New Age Guy. The type that I would like.
Anyways, don't just be a friend to everyone. Get to know them more in depth. Girls like to talk bout emotions, thoughts bout things, etc. I'm very sure tt you wont have any problems having long conversations with girls.
I think guys like you are virutally extinct; sensitive, having your own opinions, knowing what you want etc. That's great. Please remain that way. Dun change it. Right now you may not have a gf probably cos most people your age aren't mature yet. Most aren't willing to go into a relationship which you've just described cos it requires a great deal of committment.
Be patient. Pay attention and be more sensitve and caring to a girl's feelings. Don't annoy girls or your frens with questions in life. Be more sensitive in this aspect. When they start to show signs of impatience with your questioning, stop talking bout it already. You can't expect every one of your friend to share your passion for being inquisitive.
I can guarantee you that guys like you are a rare breed and are what most girls look for for a long time relationship. Don't worry, you're already there. I can assure you; with your character, many girls will be attracted to you. Just get to know girls in depth but don't make yourself look desperate though (cos girls fear desperate guys) and I'm sure the right one will come along soon.
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