|
straight vs. gay
I have a friend who is straight. I'm gay. We are in our low 30s. When I told him that I have very strong feelings for him, he was totally uninterested. Not only that,
but he told me that he was very disappointed in me for telling him that. (That I have feelings towards him in such a way.) My major problem is that I obsess about him. I think about him constantly during the day. I dream about him at night. Sometimes many time in one hour, uncontrollably. In sexual and non sexual terms. I think of him in many different ways. I want to know everything there is to know about him, what he does, what he likes, what he spends his time with, etc, etc, etc. My point is, I tried to stop all this thinking and wanting to be close to him, but I can't. I'm in searing mental pain every day because I think of him so much and the interest he has in me at best is being a casual/good friend, my feelings towards him are not mutual. I don't want to get up in the morning because I know what my day in that aspect will be like. I know the reality of the situation but I obsess about him, and I can't stop my thoughts, they just pop into my head without my will or consent. What can I do? Can you help me? Showing him this letter is out. So is going for professional help. As much as I think I might be able to be helped by a psychologist/psychiatrist, the hundreds of dollars of fees that they charge per hour/session is beyond what I can afford. I can barely pay my basic bills, never mind this. I need to be able to have my day, everyday, go by without thinking, dreaming and fantasizing about him. My mind needs to be free of him the way I think of him now in order to keep my sanity, to be a normal person. It has come to a point that I'm in terrible, constant anguish that I think about him 24/7 the way I do, that I can't take it anymore. Please help me! Many thanks for you time. I eagerly await your response, you might just be able to save me before I go absolutely crazy. Thank you.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You need to find yourself another man, mate. If he's straight theirs no way it can happen. Stop obsessing over one goldfish and go hunt for a shark. In the end it'll be fine.
]
IM COMING OUT!! lol..move on with your life man theres many gays out there these days coming from right out of the closet, just go take a look. ♥
]
I think you just need to get your mind away from it all. Go out at night and meet new people. Pretty soon you will find someone else who might have feelings back for you.
]
I would advise you making a appointment to go to Mental Health. (No it's not for crazy people) -It's for people that have trouble coping with a few things and just need someone to talk to. It is farely cheap to go there (you might can even get the state to pay 4 it-mental health can talk to you about that & even if they don't they offer payment plans-there main goal is to help you not get all your money. It's normal to fantasize about a person you know you could never be with-but it ends there. You can no more make a straight person gay than a person can make you go straight. Best Of Luck To You..
]
1) go to a sexologue
2)consult with yourself of what is wrong with you 3)start hanging around with girls;you will feel the change.
4)have sex
5)Rather than that try to do something else,something thet u like to do like music, painting etc.....
6)i am sure you will definately feel the change
]
There just isn't a cure for unrequited love. It takes time to get over, sometimes years if you sit and dwell on it.
The problem, (if you want to consider it a problem) with telling your friend, is that he will now be uncomfortable around you and may stop hanging around with you. That may not be such a bad thing in the long run because you are going to have to get over it.
Not having a love returned is a very painful thing. About the only cure is to find someone else to care about.
Since many people go through this in their lifetime...some more than once, I don't think it
is a mental problem you need to seek professional help for. EXCEPTION would be if you should start "stalking" behavior, which is a crime, or should you become suicidal (lets hope not).
Spend time with other friends, hopefully you have one you can talk to and vent with about it. Go out
laugh and have a good time, meet someone else who is interested. That will be your cure. It will take some time though.
Good luck to you. :)
]
More Questions: |