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Jelous or not?
My boyfriend has a friend thats a girl, and theyve been friends for a couple of years. They have pet names for each other and talk all the time. He doesnt talk about her all the time, but, when he does I just get mad. I dont know why, I just do. Hes always concerned or worried about her. I really dont like it when he talks about her but I want to help him because hes always worried about her. Am I just being jelous? What should I do? I'm so confused.
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Jealous? I would say that you are a bit. But I think I would be in that situation too. Just try to remember that they are friends, but if you still cant help but be jealous, make sure you go talk to your guy.
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You are being jealous and you shoudn't be confused mjust talk to him and find out the problem because ya'll have some issues that you need to really work out.
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Your reaction is normal. I don't know of any woman/girl who would not feel that way. What you do about your feelings is important here. You could grow immensely from this experience or if left alone "jealousy" could grow until it festers and is damaging to you and your relationship with your boyfriend. What I'd do to overcome these feelings is get to know his friend better. I'd become friends w/her as well. It could be a really great thing. You become friends w/her and she starts to really like you, then you and your boyfriend get into an argument you could have an ally. The women against the guy so to speak. Being friends w/your boyfriend's friend could defuse the "jealousy" feelings you are having. But I do caution you here. Don't let yourself give up any secrets that you don't want your boyfriend to know about because she will tell him. She's his friend first. But you could also end up w/a very good friend that you can take away w/you if for some reason you and your boyfriend were to ever brake up. Also, a funny thing about guys, they express concern about people when they are not with them. I'll bet when he's w/her you are all he talks about.
How to start this up would be to go on a double date with her. You could also invite her to join the two of you when you are going to places like swimming, boating, a park, any place that you and your boyfriend are going just to hang out, but don't intend to become too romantic. Include her in any activities that you would or are going to include your friends in on. Be really friendly towards her. It might be a little awkward at first, but after you get over the hump things will move smoothly. She may be a little jealous of you too because you are taking her friend away from her. This will also help her to work through her feelings. The thing to remember here is that she isn't going away. She's been your boyfriend's friend for 2 years. Incorporating her into your life will help you w/your feelings and her with her's. Good luck!
Namaste!
LULABELLE
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Hey,
I do have a point of view in this situation, but i hope you just don't get mad, because i am saying the right thing.
You say that your boyfreind has this freind of his for a couple of years now, and they are really good friends and like to spend time together. So not just because he started dating you means that you just come and keep feeling jealous and annoyed when he talks about it and stuff. He likes her and cares about her and worries if she has a problem or something. But then that doesn't mean that he loves her more than you or cares about her or anything. These are two different levels, and you got the higher one, his girlfreind, but she's just his friend,these are two different things and two different feelings.
And i have read lots of similar problems before, and i never took any of their sides, because i can't find a real reason to be jealous or do anything of these annoyed and upset actions.
And aslong as he loves you, and cares about you and is there for you and spends more time with you than with her, then i am sorry, but you don't have a right to complain. because he just can't give up his friends for his girlfriend. and to make you feel better, try to imagine if she was a boy, a regular friend of his, and he used to hang out with his friend and worry if anything about to him and such stuff ,you won't be annoyed, and he wouldn't ever give his friend up for you. So just think of this girl as a normal freind. Act cool and natural and don't show him that your jealous or annoyed. Besides, he's right there for you and he loves you so much and he's your boyfreind ,for heaven sake , so enjoy the moment.
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Well try to think of her more of just another one of his guy friends. Think about it, wouldn't he be worried about a friend as well? I understand why you're jealous, but don't get so mad over it. Think about if you had JUST a guy friend and nothing more. If they've been freinds for that long and nothing has developed, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
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I would be jealous too. It's hard to hear your boyfriend so concerned with another girl. If you trust him and know there's nothing going on with them..see if you can find out why he's always worried for her. He may just be overprotective of her like a brother, so just try to help him help her.
Good Luck,
Teacup
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