|
my life is just falling apart
I feel like I don't want to live anymore. I did NOTHING this summer and I hate myself for wasting my summer. I lost alot of my friends almost all of them. My boyfriend and I just broke up. My 9 year old sister gets treated like a princess by my parents and my parents ground me for everything that happens when my sister always does the bad stuff. My sister gets to go to my neighbors beach house every weekend and sleeps over EVERY weekend while my mom makes me stay with my grandma who hates me while my mom and dad go to expensive restaurants having the best time. I used to be the smartest person in school with straight A's but now my grades are slipping so much I almost had to stay back. I'm so lazy and never get anything done. I've gotten soo much acne and I've went to almost every dermatologist in the state and my pimples are still there and my face hurts because its irritated. My hair always looks unhealthy. My eyes are too small. My nose is too big and is covered in zits. My hair is dead and I use the best shampoo. And today I got so mad because my parents pissed me off so much I cut my hair with scissors and I just cut a HUGE chunk of the front of my hair so now thats screwed up. My hair won't curl no matter what I use. If you had to live that bad, wouldn't you feel like wanting to die? Everything about me and my life is screwed up. I'm so sad lately and no body and nothing can cheer me up. If I could feel good about my appearence and friends and life then I would enjoy living. I used to. But this summer everything is falling apart. I don't know what to do. It's probably just hormones I'm 13 and I don't have depression I'm usually really happy. I don't know what I can do so that I feel better about myself. Help?!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I'll start by saying you are making yourself feel sad because you are magnifying your weakness and things you can't change presently .'
You can make yourself feel better by magnifying your strenths above your weakness, for example perhaps you are a good listner, faithful and true to friendship and or sensitive to the needs of others; any or all these represents your strenth and gives you the right to say I am somebody, I have something to offer others and I am worthy of love etc.
You spoke about your grades dropping from getting A's to whatever the underscore is , you didn't mention however my point is the fact that you were making A's tells me a great deal about your intelligence and achedemic capabilities which also tells me that you still have these abilities but what has happen is you have allowed other things to distract you and therefore it has come between your Achedemic achievement and focus that's why your grades has dropped,not because you're dumb .
Your lack of friends and boyfriend issue is a result of the way you're making yourself feel by magnifying your weakness; your have allowed your weakness to rob you of your joy and motivation to enjoy summer activities with those you love and others you hold as dear friends.
Your skin and hair is going through these changes because of stress;your stress level is high ; what I mentioned in the previous paragraph about magnifying your weakness is the cause of this level of stress, and I believe the reason that your parents are seeming to play favoritism among your sister and going places without you is because I belive they are disappointed about your grades and unfortunately parents usually takes away priviledges and things children care about to discipline them; going through this doesn't feel good but it is apart of growth and to challenge you to make better choices in life; everyone in life goes through discipline .
My best advice to you is to start by focusing on the things that make you feel good about your self, look at your past acomplishments and the things you do exceedingly well presently these are your strenghts ; and keep looking at them and watch your smile and joy return and your stress level will begin to vanish, your skin will begin to clear up, your hair will begin to look healthy, your frienships and relationships return to it's form and your family relationship will begin to heal; above all I want you to know that God is love and no matter what you do right or have done wrong his love for you will never change .
God Bless You
]
Although you say you don't have depression, it sounds like you're depressed. Plus you're just becoming a teenager so you're going to be self conscious about your looks.
I've been through this before since I was eleven till earlier this year. (I'm 14 btw) I haven't done that much this summer besides when I'm dragged out of my house by my best friend. And I do that to my other best friend because she rather read or use the computer than leave the house. Which is okay cause she lives a few houses down and across the street from me.
Some of these things you listed arenn't that serious BUT because you may be depressed you're going to take everything a lot more serious than it is. I'm not saying that what you were claiming isn't important though.
If you need to talk about anything, anything at all, my AIM screen name is shotgunwedding57 and my email is cherryflavoredsuicide@yahoo.com cause I've been through all of this.
Hope to hear from you soon.
-Kay
]
wow.this is going to be long so get ready.First of all about your sister,ofcousre they are going to treat her better shes younger than you.I get in trouble my bro does cuz hes younger than me.They dont know whats right and wrong.About your parents,i think you should tell them how it isnt fair that YOU get left wih your grandma while everyone eles has a great time.The only thing thats really going to help you is our education.Look,what do you want to be when you grow up.OK,to get to that you need to have a good college certificate and get straight As at school!!The future is in YOUR hands and its in YOUR hands to make your life better.If you sit alone crying about how bad your life is then guess WHAT,IT AINT GETTING ANY BETTER THAN THIS!!!You need to have an aim in life,a goal and steps to reach it.Imagine,becoming a successful person with all this money to get whatever you want.But a thousand mile journey has to begin with a single step at a time!About your freinds,so what?!Youll meet newer people!!One time i had this best freind that went off and told my worst enemy alll my secrets!!I didnt cry or get mad,i was GLAD that this happened so i can know who to trust.And after that i made new freinds!Happieness isnt having what you want,its wanting what youve GOT.Youre life is just a big misunderstanding between your family that you can fix,but the starving kids in africa,theyre life cant change and they pray and thank god about it.If you were to send me a pic of how you looked like,i could help you on your apperance.You also need to turn to religion more,Be happy for the life God gave you cuz if you dont,he can take it all away.Dont let these problems from becoming the rich successful person you want to be.
]
I know how you feel! A year ago I was so depressed that I stopped eating for a little. Most of the things that happened to you happened to me! I'm sorry you have to go through so much.
For your acne: Proactive Solution! Get it cheap on Ebay, it works miracles. For your hair: Ask your Mom or Dad to take you out to get a fresh hair cut. Try a new cut, not just a trim. Idk, something like getting short/long bangs, layers, etc. And while you're there, ask the stylist what she recommends for dry hair. Who's better to come to with hair questions then a hairdresser?
You can put a little makeup on to define your eyes. If you're looking for specific brands, here they are: for eyeliner-Maybelline Unstoppable, for mascara-FLIRT! Lash Thickening Mascara, for eyeshadow: any color of Maybelline you like. I usually use those things because they're my favorite.
I hate hormones! But we all have to deal with them, so you deff. aren't alone. Things can't get worse unless you make them worse. Go out and plan something fun for yourself and yourself only! Tell your parents exactly what you told Advicenators. They'll have to understand.
If you want to hang out with your friends more, call an old buddy up and ask them to do something really fun with you (like go to the movies/mall/or whatever floats your boat really). Don't just hang out at your house. Get out and have fun! Do something crazy that you would never normally do (but keep it safe).
Remember, it will get better. You'll get through it, I'm rootin' for ya! And hey, if you want to talk you can always email me or talk to me over Advicenators. My friends say I'm a good listener and I make people feel better. I only want to help, and it always makes people feel better to talk about it.
]
Wow sounds like you're having a bad day!
*I'll bet you anything that a lot of people also "wasted" their summer. at 13, it's normal. there's always next summer and you can mek the most out of weekends too.
*parents are like that. you're just gonna have to get used to it, really. siblings are too. my bro was 9 when i was 13 so i really know what you mean. it sucks but eventually you'll come to an understanding, i promise.
* get back on track and do your work. reward yourself with awesome weekend plans for doing good on your work all week.
*you might just be overreacting about the acne. try another derm... it might just be hormonal and zits are normal.
*eat healthy so your hair looks healthy. it wont always be shiney with it's healthy, it will be soft. i'm sure it looks fine.
* you're going to have to learn to love you eyes. it's a fact of life. you can use eyeliner and mascara to change them up a bit but later someone might just fall in love with your eyes because they are unique.
*go to great clips and have them work on your bad hair cut. it's pretty cheap and it will get the job done.
*not everyone's hair curls. it's not a bad thing. i know girls that fry their hair so it looks straight so count your blessings.
*i'm sorry about you and your bf. you're not the only person with this going on tho.. it happens, it sucks a lot, life goes on.
yes, 13 is a rough age and that's whats happening. you just have to stay positive. look at the happy things. you didnt mention anything about the great friends you have or any sports achievements or anything. there has to be something going right. you're healthy, you have a family... keep yourself busy. I had a horrible breakup recently. i can honestly say he was the only thing going right but i brought myself out of wallowing by staying busy... i cleaned/organized my room and most of the house and then went out with friends. try it. learn to love yourself. you're stuck with yourself forever and life is about being happy. you'll never get the chance to be this age again. lemme know if you need anything. <3
]
More Questions: |