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living situation:: mom vs. dad
i'm 15/f, and opinions are very much apprectiated on this even though it's long. here's the sitch:
i'm going into the 10th grade in a month. my mom lives in one town, and my dad in another, about 10 minutes apart.
so i live with my mom now, but i'm thinking of maybe moving to my dad's house, but i need your help in making the decision. all of my friends are near my mom's house, that go to the high school in her town, but if i were to move with my dad, he would take me to see them and let me have them over and everything that i would normally do with them--but i don't know anyone that would go to the high school in my dad's town. my mom is supposed to give me allowance for the chores i do, but she never does, and i can't get a job yet, so i have no money. if i were to move with my dad, i have 4 cousins that live near him that i could babysit and make some money and then later get a job, and he also said that he would give me allowance. i sometimes get along with my mom, but she puts her boyfriend before me and is always asking me to do stuff for her and she's always on my case. i get along with my dad most of the time, and his girlfriend is like a mom to me. my room at my mom's house is small and cramped, i have no closet doors, a broken fan, no bed frame and my mom says she can't make renovations bc she doesnt have the money, but she spends her money(including the child support money from my dad) on my little sister(has a diff. dad), tanning, and diet everything. i'm so frustrated, and i'm so nervous about making this decision and i've no clue what to do. so a huge thank you goes out to anyone who answers this.
<3Nicole
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It sounds like you really want to live with your dad. And I know the choice is tough but you have to do what makes you most comfortable. It seems like your dad would do anything to have you live with him so I'd do what feels right. Your mom sounds preoccupied with her boyfriend so I'd talk to her and let her know what's going on. Maybe she'll agree that you'd be better off living with your dad for a while even if its a trial thing for only a year or 6 months. As for not knowing anyone at your highschool, you'll make friends. I can pretty much promise you that you will make friends and adjust. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know a lot of people with divorced parents so I know its really tough. Good luck. ♥ Kelli
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it sounds to me that yu might want to base yur desision more on the people and not on the material objects. i think that you should take a closer look at the relaionship you have with each parent, it suonds to me that you are frustrated with your mom because she can't provide you with money and all the material objects that you need, but your dad gives you access to places that you could make money and have a better room. i think that you are finding your mom to be frustrating because you are always around her, and you never know, that could become the instanse with you and your dad, or it could just be a positive in both ways, making a stronger relationship with your mom and hanging out more with your dad. i think you should look closer at the relationship with your mom and see if distanse would make it better, or if this is just something that you could talk through with her, either way i amm sure you will make the right desision!
by the way my parents are not divorsed, but married happily, but my dad tends to buy me things like an ipod or a stereo, when my mom tends to be more strict, but her and i have a better relationship than me and my dad, i feel as tho he is trying to "buy my love" oi am not saying that this is what is going on with you, but i just wanted to let you know, thinking it might help.
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hey, my parents dont live together either. about 3 years ago i had to mkae the same descison. what i learned about this whole process is that you shouldnt make your living descision on who has better stuff at there homes or whos house is closer to your friends. make your descision on whos nicer to you and whos going to care for you. so think about that when your making the descision. also if your not happy with yoru descison in the long run you can always move back with whoever you choose. i hope all works out. if you ever want to talk send me a message or i/m me.
-caitt<3
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i think you should try staying at your dads.
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Hi Nicole,
I would try things out with Dad. Maybe it could be arranged for you to not have to switch schools. And if it isn't, you'll have no problem getting in with another school in 10th grade. Think of it as a fresh start! If things don't work out and you want to stay with Mom, since she isn't giving you an allowance maybe you could work something out with your dad- like do chores and odd jobs for him while you're visiting him- and maybe he could give you allowance that way. Look around for neighborhood kids...maybe you can babysit for them. Or put a small ad in the paper, you'll be sure to get babysitting that way if you decide to stay with Mom. Good luck!
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I would defiantly move in with my dad if I were in your shoes. You'd probably have a better time over at his house and you'd have money. Your friends shouldn't be a problem since your dad said that you can have them over and you can go to their houses.
But, the school. Normally I would just tell you to go to the new school because you'd defiantly meet new people. You're 15 right now so; you're going to be a sophomore? So you'd still have to time meet people before senior year and such.
Since your parents only live 10 minutes away from each other though, would it be possible to stay at your current high school? You could still use your mom's address so the school won't find out that you moved out of its schooling zone. Many people where I live do that because here, we have a high school every like 5 miles. *gahh* If that isn't something you can do then use my advice in my last paragraph. :D Good luck!
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I would say move in with your dad! he seems like a great guy and since all the pros seem to come when you go live at his house. Your moms seems to hold you down and be less sensitive toward you than she should be.As for the highschool thing you sound like a great person, it shouldnt be to hard to make new friends,you just have to be open. Be kind to everyone and they will (or should) retur they favor. I mean how did you make the friends you have now.
GOOD LUCK!
IF YOU NEED ANY MORE ADVICE ON ANYTHING (ESPPECAILY THIS)PLEASE EITHER I.M ME OR GO TO MY INBOX<33
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