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Control issues
My nephew KC is marrying Kendra and they have 1 child together who is 2 years old. This will be the 3rd date set for marriage. KC is not himself when she is around. He is extremely quiet and uninvolved with the family when she is around. But, when she leaves he smiles and laughs and has alot of fun. Kendra uses their daughter to get what she wants. She has told KC that he will not get to see their daughter when things are not going well between them. She has threatened to leave and he will never see her again. She has said the same thing to KC's mother and even went to their house and took all of their granddaughters photos from their home. She has called his cousins and told them that she hates our entire family. Their wedding is in a few weeks and we are not sure if it will happen but now she has contacted the flower girl's mother and told her that she is not needed in the wedding because of budget issues. She also sent an email to the best man's (KC's only brother) girlfriend and told her she is not invited to the wedding and that if anyone does not support their marriage then they should not be there. Please help with any advice.
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Kendra is a manipulator, I believe she is very mean to him when no one's around this is why he is quiet and sad when she is around because he doesn't know at what moment will she latch out at him in front of the family ; and therefore when Kendra is not around he feels free ; her presence makes him feel like he is in captivity .
If I had an opportunity to give KC a few words I would advice him not to marry her under this kind of pressure, and if he's looking for a sign to know if he should or shouldn't marry her what she is putting him through is his sign also once she takes on his name she's gonna really throw her weight around on him and his family .
I also would advice KC to continue being good to his children and cross every " T " and dot every " I" concerning your children even from a legal perspective just in case she tries to pull a number on him and take the child or children away which will be virtually impossible from a legal perspective if he stays a step a head of her manipulation ,
Another sign for KC not to marry Kendra under this kind of pressure, if she is disrespectful and picks fight with his family this is a huge Red Flag, if he marry her she will turn him against his family .
My final advice we have to forgive Kendra for her bad personality, however KC do not have to marry her in order to forgive her ..
God Bless You !
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As long as your nephew crumbles to Kendra's controlling behavior, this situation isn't going to change. By sitting by and accepting her behavior he is enabling her. Why should she stop? She's not suffering at all; she's getting exactly what she wants.
Educate your nephew. Legally she can neither deny him OR the grandparents visitation. It sounds to me like taking her to court might actually be less painful then marrying her.
For everyone who doesn't support this marriage, now is the time to speak up, to hell with her feelings or her threats and everyone should double-check with your nephew before they consider themselves 'uninvited' to the wedding. If what you are saying is true, she is emotionally abusing your nephew, and someone needs to point that out to him very directly, even if he can't accept it yet. If he insists on marrying her, go to the wedding unless he asks you not to, encourage everyone to hold thier tongues, smile with happiness and give him all the love and support you can.
Good luck.
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I feel like I'm only hearing half the story here.
Why on Earth would she be angry enough to steal pictures of a grandchild from a grandparent? Something in particular must have sparked that unless she's a complete basket case and a candidate for the psych ward!
It sounds like there's more to the story here than her just being bitter because your nephew got her pregnant outside of wedlock.
I'm very sorry, but I have little sympathy for your nephew- he made his bed and now he has to lie in it. If he didn't want the young lady to be his "baby's momma", he should have kept it in his pants.
The person I DO have sympathy for is your grand-niece. She didn't do anything but she's in the middle of this mess.
Children do better with both parents in the household. You all need to start thinking of what's best for the baby.
The fact that the bride made the statement about not attending the wedding if you don't support the marriage indicates that somebody (the selfsame best man's girlfriend?) in your family decided to tell her that they think she's a bad match for KC. I can't blame her for being mad.
If Kendra is facing hostility from your family, returning that hostility is not exactly to be unexpected, now is it?
Frankly, from your story, KC sounds like an irresponsible type of person and perhaps the strong arm tactics that Kendra is using on him are what's needed to get him to do what he needs to do.
So, maybe you guys need to make the attempt to mend fences and apologize to Kendra for your behavior.
Give this marriage a chance and support the couple and they might just surprise you.
Always remember that the baby's there and it's not just about KC and Kendra anymore...
Best wishes.
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The wedding shouldn't happen you have to convince Kc not to marry Kendra he can't be with someone who threatens him of not seeing his child anymore.I understand perfectly of how you're feeling because something similar is happening in my family with some woman who is just like Kendra.I would also say that the law should take the custody of Kendra's child what kind of an example is she showing I mean I'm not trying to worry you or anything because I know you wouldn't want that one day Kendra takes the child,never comes back,especially it would be extremely painful for your nephew.Think about it,if Kc decides not to marry this woman,goes to court he would need prove that he deserves the child like witnesses,that he has a job to provide everything the child needs,the nice person he is to win the custody of his child.
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Sounds to me like KC is marrying a spoilt brat.
Do these two love each other? It seems KC only perks up when shes not around and all she can do is threaten him. Isn't any wonder hes happier when she is gone.
I think someone he respects needs to have a serious talk with him before this marriage takes place. I think they need to find out what his true feelings are. If he is afraid he won't be able to see his daughter unless he goes through with this...he needs told differently. Otherwise,
sounds like hes looking at a life of misery. :)
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From what's going on here, they better work out issues before they even get married. Why all of a sudden is she being quite mean to your nephew? What kind of lady is this person? Is you nephew doing stuff wrong that she dosen't like? Well hopefully all goes well.
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