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Should we be together??
my boyfriend (24)and I(20) have lived together for over a year we live with a roomate who happens to be my friend . just recently last friday actually we got in a big fight and he shoved me into the closet door, our roomate heard it all and said something to him and he got in her face screaming and pointing his finger in her face so i ran flailing my fists aqnd i caught him in the nose , i didn't punch him but i did hit him though and his nose started bleeding which i instantly started bawling and trying to clean away the blood , i knew what i did was wrong and felt horrible anyway we both agreed to forgive each other but then this past tuesday i had to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth out and he was the one with me getting all the post-op insturctions and then after we got home we got into a dumb fight and he said "i can't take getting beaten anymore" and he left me i havn't heard from him since tuesday and now he is at his parents house I don't know what i should do because i am stuck here with all the memories and i am crying everyday I just want him to come home but at the same time i don't know if i should let him come home i need help!!!!
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It sounds as though there are anger issues here. Possibly on both sides. The question is, is it both of you or just one?
If he pushed you into the door and you get back together, it is quite likely that the next time you have an argument, he will do something worse. The way he reacted to your friend intervening should be a red flag. Yes, you perhaps should have been more careful with your fists, but in a stressful situation like that, you are going to act first and think later. Also, the way he is using the accident of you catching his nose against you, seems to suggest that he would drag this out every time in the future that you have a disagreement, and use it to his advantage.
What caused the fight after your operation? This was a time when you needed peace, quiet and understanding, not a row! If you've just had anaesthia, your emotions would be a bit skewed anyway.
If you also have anger issues, try to get to the bottom of it. Has it just been since you were together? Or have you had a problem for some time? The same questions will apply to him.
It does sound as though, however painful now, you would be better off apart. You don't need all this stress in your life, and there will be someone out there who will appreciate you for who you are, and not throw past actions in your face at every opportunity.
I hope that helps and I wish you all the best for the future.
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Hi, the best thing you can do is go and visit him. Try and talk all this out with him and solve the situation. He probaly might want time on his own for a while. This will give both of you time to figure out whats actually happened then if you go around there and say something like "we need to talk" then you should be able to clear all this up. Good relationships do have problems sometimes small and other times big but the whole point in being a relationship is to talk past these problems. With talk can come understanding. Daniel.
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he dessereves what he got!how dare he lock you in a closet!dont apologize to him cuz he got what he desserves but i think you should try calling him and telling him that he started it and all and work your way outta it...if he doesnt want to then i dont see any reasons why you should still cry about him....hes not worth it and hes not the last guy on earth....its gonna be his loss not yours
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It seems like he will be using this excuse against you every time you get into an argument. It's not fair on you. You got caught in the heat of the moment, panicked and didn't know what to do.
If you really think your relationship stands a chance of working without the past coming back up, then speak to him. Tell him you are deeply sorry and it won't ever happen again. Say you were scared when he was screaming at your friend.
I, personally don't think you did anything wrong. He shoved you in the cupboard and pointed the finger at your friend. There's no excuse for his actions.
Think this through. Would you be better off with or without him. Because the subject of what happened will never go away. and you deserve better.
Good luck with it.
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I wouldn't let him come home. He let a fight get physical, and now he's blaming you for it. He pushed you first, he provoked you. Cut your losses, because there's a chance he'll do this again, especially if he can't suck it up to help you during your time of need.
Breaking up is hard, but if you stay with him you'll be subjecting yourself to more pain.
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