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it's just kinda weird. long, but please read
i feel like my mom is running my love life. when i was 13, i met this boy. i fell madly in love with him and to this day, 2/3 years later, i'm still crazy about him. he liked me a lot. i think he still does but he's just hurt about all of this that's been going on. my mom ADORED his best friend. she told me that if i was going to like anybody that it could only be his best friend and her mind was set. she said that the other guy was ugly and stupid. so, i pretended to like his best friend infront of her. she was so happy and every time i might have hinted that there was something for the other guy, she would get soo pissed. so, i told my best friend about what was going on, and she was the only one that knew. but, then in 8th grade, my mom saw the one she thought was ugly at a party and saw how much she thought he cared for me and she liked him and stuff. and then i was at the hospital on christmas because i had a really bad cough that was non-stop for 3 days and 3 nights and the only thing that made me stop coughing was when she said his name. she dumped my boyfriend of 1 year over the internet because she says that he was sending me inappropriate things. i thought it was gross, but it wasn't worth dumping him for. he said he was sorry. but, she really shouldn't have done that. but, i recently met this guy and she says he's ugly and she doesn't like him because he's ugly and he carries things in a bag. the only reason he brought a bag was because we were going in the pool so he brought an extra change of clothes. she finds the stupidest reasons for things. she thinks he's weird or something and he's not like that, he's a very nice person and he has excellent table manners lol. but, i'm tired or her running my love life. i feel like she wants to control who i can and can't like. i've talked to her about it, but she just doesn't understand. she doesn't think anything she does is wrong. and i think all of these 3 circumstances have everything wrong with them
1) TELLING ME I COULD ONLY LIKE HIS BEST FRIEND
2) DUMPING MY BOYFRIEND WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!
3) TELLING ME I CAN'T LIKE A BOY BECAUSE SHE THINK'S HE'S UGLY!!!!!
now she's telling me i have to like the one she thought was ugly in the first place and i still love him, but, i'm kind of just hanging around and waiting for him to come around. because, recently he was getting into things like smoking pot and stuff and i want him to outgrow it and i also don't want to make a move on him like that. i want to hint it and stuff. but, there's nothing wrong with liking someone and him getting a little jealous with it. deep down i really care about him, but that's besides the point
it'advice about my mom please
thank you
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OMG what kind of mom would do this tell her its not up to her who you should like she is not you she should really not control your love life.
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wow.. no offence to your mom but I think that is kind of messed up. Yes she is her mother, but she has no right to not let you like someone just because she thinks he is ugly. Simply tell your mother,
"I know that it is in your best iterest to look out for me but seriously mom, you need to listen to me. I'm not trying to be rude but you can't run my life. I know who I like and who I don't. And honestly, you really can't tell me who I can and can not have feelings for. I don't want to disappoint you but I'm not going to put up with it anymore. It's my life and my mind. You can't control it forever. Just because you think one person is ugly doesn't mean I do. And you can't judge someone on looks because looks aren't everything. It's all about personality. And if you had any TRUE taste, you would see that. I know you are trying to protect me but, I'm old enough to make my own mistakes and learn from my actions. I'm not an idiot. So let me do my job to have a good childhood; and you do yours and be the mom I NEED you to be."
i hope it helps! <3 =]
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im sry but im going to tell you straight what you have to do! What she did and is doing still is sooooo wrong and duh you know that but if i were you when she dumped your boyfriend for you you should started talking or yelling at her saying that you dont have the rite to tell me if i can date him or not or dump any one with out me knowing. Make it clear make it crystle clear that you dont ever ever want her to be in your YOUR love life ever again you make the decisions around that area not her. You have to stand up for yourself if u dont do it now just think years from now what she will do when your going to get married is she going to say you cant get married to him because he didnt fit into his tux the first time. What it sounds like here is that she doesnt (a) wnat you to fall in love because sometimes love hurts and she doesnt want you to get hurt or (b)just doesnt want you to leave her because of a guy. she probally thinks that her liltle girl is falling in love and doesnt want her to. she loves you more and wants you to love her and just her no one else everyone else is out of the picture. so i hope i helped and you take this very seriosly tell her how you feel and if she doesnt get it than the best thing to do is to hurt (feeling i mean) that the only way it worked for me and it can work for you!
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Tell her the positive things about the ones that you like, and that you should be able to choose the one to be with because it is your life, and that she shouldn't interfear, plus you wouldn't tell your mother to date a guy you would like her to.
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That is horrible that your mom is doing that to you. Especially just b/c she thinks their ugly. Obviously she only wants the best for her daughter, which is cute. But could get very annoying, & i guess to you already is. if i was you i would just try and not listen to her, try and show her the good things in all the guys that you like, or whatever. Show her that the boy cares for you as well. And that it really isnt her choice. But other then that, i dont know what to tell you. Just dont continue to lie to her, just say that you really dont like the other guy. And that you can like whoever you want. Say that he isnt ugly, and stand up for them in front of your mom. hopefully she'll see that you really care about them. Hopefully that helps :] & Good Luck.
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