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Can't stand my trainer
I've been at my job for several months now, and I just got switched to a new position within the job. I'm 21 and female, if that helps.
My problem is that I can't get along with the person who is training me (I'll call her Kim). Kim likes to micromanage, be in control of everything I do, and waste my time.
For example, I asked her how to edit the books and she said for me to do it myself. So I told her exactly what I was going to do and she said to go ahead and do it. So I finished up, put the book away, and started working on something else. She stopped me, told me I had done it wrong, and had me do it all over again.
I've caught her in mistakes and she'll never admit she's wrong. She always find a way to turn it back on me. We have keys organized by letters and numbers, and I asked her where the SVC keys were. So she told me wrong and I let her know. She said I asked her where the LFE keys were and that I was wrong and shouldn't "make mistakes when I'm asking questions".
It's not any one big thing. It's just a bunch of little things that go on all day. I'm pregnant and hormonal, and I end up crying in the bathroom several times a day because sometimes she is just flat out mean to me.
How do I deal with this problem? I really need it to stop. I'm afraid to tell the supervisors because Kim is the only black person in the office, and I'm afraid they'll oversimplify the problem as racism and miss the point completely (they do that a lot). Please help before I quit or go insame. Thanks.
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Wow been there and man does it suck, I can't give you any magic solutions but I can tell you what worked for me, number one when she gives you instructions on how to do stuff write down in front of her what she is telling you, if you are telling her how you plan to do something then put it in an email or on paper and have her initial it. If she questions why you are doing this tell her that writing things out helps you keep track of all the different facets of your job especially since you are pregnant and everyone knows that at times pregnant women can be forgetful (I am not saying you are just to use it as an excuse) Also try to ask her yes and no questions this limits her excuses for giving you the wrong information.
As for her micromanaging when the time is right point out to her that by doing your job she has less time for her own job and that her having more free time would allow for her to have less stress and maybe take longer lunches or breaks.
I hope this helps a little bit, but at the end of the day you may need to go to your supervisor in order to present facts to him/her if it comes down to it make sure you are cya (covering your ass) by keeping a record of all the things she is doing so that you can present a clear and consise problem and that there will be little room for them to leap to the conclusion that it is a black white issue.
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alot a people like to take advantage of pregnant people .and kim most likly knows that if you tell your superviser they think you are racism person so i think you should get a nother job
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You sound like a very bright 21 y/old, business people always do best to hire the smartest employees that they can, so I am sure they don't want to lose you.
Start off by documenting everything. Leave the emotional stuff out, just write the facts. If you document well, you will have proof it's not a racial issue. After you have several incidents documented, request a meeting with Kim and your supervisor. Ask for ways to resolve the problem (make sure you document the meeting too). If they don't take steps to resolve the problems, you have grounds to quit and can file for unemployment. Life's too short to suffer at any job, and trust me there are other employers that would appreciate you!
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Next time you ask her for help and she tells you to do it yourself, and then says you did it wrong, you can say "Well, "Kim" , I came to you and asked you how to do it, You told me to do it myself, and i did it myself. You are supposed to be training me to do things right so next time i would appreciate it if you would tell me how to do it right the first time so i don't have to do everything over again." And when you are asking her questions or talking to her, make sure she here's everything your saying. For instance when you asked where the SVC keys were, you should be like "Do you know where the SVC keys are? Because i don't know where the SVC keys are. Have you seen the SVC keys anywhere?" and if she questions on why you keep repeating it just tell her "Sorry, i just want you to make sure you understand what i'm saying because sometimes you often say that i said something else." GOOD LUCK! : )
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Well I will try and help you out with this one, first off you sound like the kind of person people take advantage of (it's not a bad thing) because it happens to everyone, but you have to stand your grounds and stick up for yourself. To be honest with you, I think (Kim) will appreciate that fact that someone had the guts to tell her, if you think that people will think your being racist then they will, but simply let them know that wasn't your intentions, Just tell them your sick (literally) of being bossed around, let them know you enjoy the job but you have alot to deal with and it is hard for you to cope with your manager, and than tell (Kim) exactly how you feel, when she tries to say your wrong tell her NO THIS IS WHAT I FEEL AND IM SORRY IF I HAVE OFFENDED YOU BUT IM SICK OF BEING WALKED ON. anyways sorry this may or may not help hope it helps. Get the courage stick up for yourself thats what you have to do to get what you want!!!!
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I think your best alternative to quitting is to reverse the situation, using a little psychology. Try to make her an ally! (I know it sounds impossible, but be strong!)
Her conception of you now is apparently that of "punching bag". We want her to think of you instead as "ally". This way, she'll empathize with you - and want you to be a productive, happy subordinate instead of an outlet for her crap.
Of course, be friendly and try to develop common interests. Also, try to empathize with your boss as much as possible. Wave the white flag if you're on bad terms now, "apologize" when you make mistakes and promise you'll try harder. Might I suggest a stress ball for those moments?
Try to figure out why she is such a power freak, and satisfy that need in other ways. Develop a common enemy (the stupid computer, the ugly carpet, the lazy intern, whatever).
And lastly, keep a journal at work. When she chews you out for no good reason, write all about it. Did she make a mistake? Get it on record. A journal will let you vent the emotional strife, but also perhaps show others what a poor manager she is......
Good luck-
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