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I need advice....
My Mom and my Dad havent been on talking terms since i was 5, and my mom somehow blames it on me. She acts like i have owe my entire life to her, where as she doesnt even treat me right, being only 19 now, i really dont know how to deal with her. She is unhappy because of my Father who doesnt care about her, cos she hasnt been the best wife to him, since she keeps bitching about my father to every second person she meets, she says shes unhappy cos of him and blames everyone else for all her mistakes and refuses to accept the truth. She makes the silliest things into the biggest issues ever and makes my life living hell. She blames her missery on everyone around her, and she doesnt realise that shes making herself miserable. She needs help and refuses to go see a shrink. I really dont know what to do.. It's driving me insane. I've tried talking to her and telling her how i feel but she doesnt seem to be botherd.
According to her she never does anything wrong, and the way i feel means nothing to her. I cant think of anything else. Sometimes i wish i could just die..
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hey girl.. dont feel bad.. my mom does the same thing.. She yells at me and blames little thing on me because she isnt happy.. and to every one and me she says how bad my dad is just cuz he aint with her and dont do stuff for her.. but he takes care of me and gets me the stuff i need... we argue alot over it because she talks him down all the time.. so i just try to inore her all the time now..
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First of all, I'm sorry you have such a selfish and insensitive mother. Second of all, your dad loves you very much (your mom does too, she just doesn't know how to show it) and you don't need to die. If your mother isn't ready to grow up and actually show that she cares, maybe the best thing would be to distance yourself from her. Try talking to her one more time and just let her know that you can't deal with this stress. She is the mom and she needs to stop blaming things on other people. Tell her it's time to take responsibility for HER mistakes, not blame them on you. If that doesn't work.. like I said, just distance yourself from her as much as possible. Good luck.
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Woah, Are you sure you're not being raised by my Mother's clone?? I grew up with the exact same Mom as you! Okay, advice from a "wise old sage" of 42, that had to learn everything the hard way...
Your Mother is completely self-centered and selfish. Sure, she may make it sound like she's making all kinds of sacrifices for you, but is she really? She's acting like the "perpetual victim". I bet that before she married your Dad, she blamed her parents for all kinds of horrible things too, right?
Oh, man I could go on and on. Get away as quickly as you can. See your own therapist-if you can't afford it, sign up for state aid. Take care of yourself first and foremost, don't waste years like I did. Go online and look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If she blames others for her problems, has no empathy for you, and has to be dramatic to get the attention she craves--your Momma's probably got it. You'll have to learn (like I am now), how to insulate yourself from her to keep damage to a minimum.
Don't go getting suicidal, you're gonna be okay, AND that would just give her someone else to blame for more problems, right??
Chin Up!
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Go talk to a shrink, not for you for your mother, and as her/him how you should get you mother to come out and see her/him. Also you can see if the shrink can meet you somewhere public instead of an office, like a restaurant. Then you can "take you mother to dinner" and happen to run into a shrink that you know. He'll talk to her and then she'll maybe see that she could use her/his help. And don't die.
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You cannot take responsibility for other peoples mistakes. Your mother is projecting her hurt, anger, frustration, insecurity and unhappiness on to you.
There are obviously issues between your parents, but that is for them to work out, or not. You cannot get involved. I have a couple of questions, what are her parents like? Do/did they get on with each other and her?
If there were problems there, your mother is carrying a lot baggage and it seems to be getting too much for her to manage. She also seems to be in denial as she is refusing to accept the situation. I have a feeling that if she does, she will feel that everything will start to fall apart and she feels she cannot cope with that.
If she doesn't want to or can't see a therapist about all this, you do need to look after yourself and your own well being. You cannot afford to carry her problems into your future. See a therapist yourself, get things sorted in your own mind that you do not have to 'own' this situation and move out if necessary. If you keep banging your head against a brick wall, all you'll get out of it is a sore head. Your mother is that brick wall.
You may need to move away, but please don't think about ending your life, it is just beginning, there is a whole world out there, waiting for you to explore. Go and make the most of your life. Be sad for a while for your mother if you like, just don't let it taint your life.
Hope that helps and I wish you the best of luck.
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Why die because of someone else? If you're gonna die, do it because of YOU and only YOU, because this is the only life YOU have. Everyone else doesn't matter and they should in no way influence your decision of suicide, because you can always move far, far away and never meet those people again.
ANYWAY. I think you you should drag her out to see a psychologist, like you said. She needs to get in control of her life and own up to her actions, and only an expert can do that after all those failed attempts.
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