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Friend problems. Not sure how to talk to them sometimes
Here's the story. I'm 13/F and I am like the only girl in my school who isn't obsessed with guys. Like, I get crushes and things but I'm not obsessed with guy watching or finding a boyfriend, or getting my first kiss. I feel like it's better to let things just happen instead of pressuring yourself to have it happen because then you might go after just about anyone. I'm also not into make-up and clothes. I don't wear any make-up, except cover up under my eyes to cover dark circles. And don't get me wrong, I like shopping, but I don't love it, and I think talking about clothes and make-up is pretty frivolous and unimportant, and a bit annoying. My weight is the next problem. Alot of my friends are always concerened about their weight and they talk about weight issues alot also. I don't have any problems with my weight though. My friends and I are pretty skinny but they still like count carbs and watch how much they eat, not to be healthy, just skinny and I don't.
My main problem is it makes me feel so different and unattached to my friends. I feel like I have nothing to talk about when they bring up guys and make-up and clothes and weight. I feel like I have nothing to say and I just sit to the side listening to them and wondering how they can be so.. I don't know, they aren't exactly shallow, but sometimes that's how they seem.
Don't get me wrong, that's not all they talk about, and when they don't I love hanging out and talking to them. But when they do I just don't know what to do.
Any help would be appreciated and I'm SO sorry it's so long!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Most girls that are your age will talk about boys, make-up and their appearances because that's is what's important to them at that time in their lives. Teenage girls are always wanting to know what kind of make-up can make them look their best for a certain guy they like or all of them.
It's ok not to be interested in that too. Sometimes you just start out confused with other girls and wonder how they can be so interested in that kind of stuff. And then a little later on, they begin relating to it. I'm not saying you'll be as upbeat and excited as your friends are, but when you start wearing make-up and start getting interested in clothing, you'll understand better and be able to fit in their conversations better. You don't have to share your crushes and actually have crushes in order to have girlfriends.
The point is, that when you are in school and you start having crushes and worry about how you look, it just matters the most in that time of your life.
-TheTeenGirl
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hey you are not the only one out there!
in ways i feel i am the same as you! its good that your not following the crowd just because "everyone is doing it" and sometimes i too feel like different from my friends! some options are give it time...i mean its just a phase right (unsure if thats spelled correctly) or try hanging out with other people you don't have to stop being friends with your current friends just see if there are other people like you in your school. and also when they are talking about like boys and their weight and shopping and things that you do not want to discuss at the moment let them speak but not forever and try changing the subject even try joining in the conversation without boring youself like for example if there talking about shopping or something add some humor into it like don't you guys ever get broke or something like that don't feel like the odd one out! if you feel these people are your true friends... theres bound to be something you guys can do that you love too!
hope it helped
-lee
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hey, okay im kinda the same way with the boy thing. like im not boy crazy but i have had byfriends the trick is to just sway awy from the subject when it comes up. i findmyself in that situation alot and i will just start talking about other stuff lol. i know it may sound weird but it helps. and the whole weight thing...yea that is very common in girls around your age. if they start talking about weight just let them talk you should never feel like you have to put yourself down just to fit in with the conversation. and if you feel weird and left out, tell them if they are your friends, they wil try to take that into consideration.
hope i helped!!
<33
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I wouldn't change the way you are just to fit their needs. They seem like kind of shallow people. Maybe introduce some of the things you like when you hang out if you enjoy their company.
-Odd
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Its perfectly normal not being like that. I was and pretty much still am like that too. The weight thing, you have to confront them and tell them they arent fat, and its not healthy to eat little, tell them that! The make-up and boys thing... either tell them that you dont want to talk about it and you rather talk about something else, or change the subject. Talk to them. If they are your TRUE friends they will understand and respect the fact that you dont enjoy talking about those things. Take care ;)
-beckss
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My first concern is the weight thing. When they bring it up say, "*insert name* You are not fat anf you don't need to be counting calories!!" Yell it in their face. Do whatever you have to do to make them understand. I have a few friends who like refuse to eat anymore, and another friend who spent a year in a hospital because of it.
Next, when they talk about guys or make up or something say, "You know what guys, I'm really not into that stuff. Can we please change the subject? Has anyone seen the new movie yet?" or something along those lines. If they are your true friends they will respect your wishes and talk about their "girly" things while you aren't there.
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