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Not your typical relationship problem...
20/F.
So.
I have kind of a unique situation on my hands.
I’ve always thought that people who looked to the internet to find love were pathetic. However, I think it may be happening to me.
I’m not really sure how this happened but two years ago I started talking to this guy on the internet. I didn't think much of it at first as we would only have short, uninteresting conversations and he lives 30 hours away from me.
However, for the past seven months, we’ve been talking at least once a day. We’ve never met, but we can talk for hours about nothing. We have a really great connection and he is probably one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever talked to.
He sent me flowers on valentines day and if I’m not online when he’s about to go to bed, he’ll call me just to say goodnight. For the past month or so he’s even been saying “I love you”, and recently I’ve found myself saying it back.
I know this may seem weird to some of you, but I really like this guy. A lot. We’ve seen each other on web cam many times, so I know he’s actually who he says he is.
Sometime this summer, I’m going to visit my cousin and he happens to live within two hours from her house. We plan on meeting then to see where we stand after we can physically see each other. We’ve talked about this a lot and we both would like to further our ‘relationship’.
My only problem with this entire situation is that I’m slightly hesitant to meet him. Not because I’m worried about the risks that come with meeting people from the internet, but because I find that our ‘relationship’ is moving too fast. He has the next year planned out for us, as far as visits and whatnot, and we haven’t even met yet! Every time I try to tell him that we should maybe meet first before we start planning when we can see each other again, he gets defensive and accuses me of not believing that we’ll like each other. He makes me feel guilty about it because even though I see myself as realistic, he sees me as doubtful.
Oh, and . . .
Please don’t preach to me about being wary of meeting people from the internet. I’m old enough to make my own decisions, don’t bother trying to change my mind. I know there are risks, but I trust him completely. However, just to be safe, we both plan on having someone else there with us when we meet for the first time.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It's great that you have such a caring friend. But honestly, you don't know if there is that true love connection until you meet in person. I wouldn't spend time with all the i love you's and plans for the future, because one or both of you could be hugely disappointed.
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I used to believe online love was pathetic as well, until I found it for myself. I'm meeting mine in September, and am nervous about it but excited too. So I don't think you're weird at all. Online love is very common these days.
The reasons why a lot of online relationships don't work is ultimately because the people involved never meet. The distance gets too much and they drift apart. However, you have the chance to. You have the chance to make something out of what is obviously a very special bond. You've known this guy for 2 years, which has to mean something. He is obviously very keen on meeting you, which is why he is planning a whole bunch of other visits. I understand you feel he's going a bit fast, and in some ways you're right. There is no guarantee you'll like each other because people can be different offline, and it is a bit silly to plan other meetings at this stage before meeting for the first time. But that's why you need to meet now, to find out whether something can come out of you two in the future. You have nothing to lose by meeting, so go for it.
Good luck. :)
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First of all you must try and explain to him how you feel. He may get into a sort of an angry situation but never mind boys are like that!!!
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I think we ALL know from experience that no matter what you tell another person, that person will believe only what that person wants to.
If it's really worth it to you to explore what you have, then do it. Even if you believe he's planning too far ahead. I'm sure it's only because he's excited at the idea of seeing you finally. Some of us are more sensitive than others. It might do you well to just let him have his fantasy and go about it the realistic way on your own.
See him once. You've invested alot of time into this Get a feel for the situation. See if the chemistry is there when you're face to face with one another. If it's not, then it truely doesn't matter how far ahead he's planned because it just simply won't happen.
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hey!! well i don't really think you have much of a problem... just let him plan everything out, and go along with it so you guys can avoid useless fights and accusations! if after you guys meet you decide you don't like each other, then everything you planned just won't take place! no big deal! i mean think about it, even when you're dating someone who lives next door, you plan things for the future but you never really know if the relationship will make it past tomorrow! so don't worry about it, just go with it for now and don't bother stressing yourself with "what ifs"! :) as they say, live in the moment! good luck and be safe!!!
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As long as you no for sure its safe go for it but ONLY if you no its safe which im sure you do, uhmm he seems like a prefect match although you should confront him on his defensive ness just so you guys have a completely awesome start when you meet..but make sure that this is really what you want to do.
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My advice is going to be for you to email dangerwench. I don't think she has her inbox on here activated but she would sure be the one to help you. Her email is dangerwench@gmail.com.
I know that her and dangernerd met online. I didn't really think online relationships would work until meeting them. They get along great!
They started out with the long distance between them too. So I think she will give you the best advice of anyone here.
Dangernerd would too, of course! :)
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