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Family Problems
My dad is an obstatrician/gynacologist. Part of his job therefore requires him to be on call somtimes to deliver babies. This I am use to, usually he's on call once a week & some weekends. However, in the past year 3 people have left his practice, so there are only 2 left. Now he is on call every other night & I htink it is tearing my family apart. My mom has seemed miserable lately - she's always crying because my dad is never home. My sister & I really wish my dad would be home more often too. I know there are other families where parents aren't home all the time, but it just seems like it is making everybody miserable. We keep telling my dad to find new people for his practice, but nobody wants to come & practice in CT, because it is too expensive. And my dad is not very proactive at all...he seems to want to take each day as it comes but we all want him to be more active in finding a new partner. I don't know how to handle this, I am only 16. I want my dad to be more active in fixing this problem but he just will not listen to any of us. This situation does not look good with everybody always so miserable. Being just a teenager, is there anything I can do? It hurts me so much too, to watch my mom cry & my dad never be home.
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Hello,
I know you and your Mom want your Dad around more, but hopefully this is a temporary situation. It really sounds like he is burning the candle at both ends right now and doesn't have much of a choice. In the fast paced medical world there is a lot of pressure and it just may sound like he is not listening..when really it is on his mind a lot. As a teen what you can do is spend more time with your Mom, perhaps arrange a weekly get together with friends..and include the parents. If you can't talk to your Dad, write him a note and put it in his pocket or leave him a voice mail, simply tell him that you miss him, but no pressure.
Remember this...
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain
As far as finding a partner for his practice, I think the only thing you should do is compose a list of physican recruting agencies (do a search on the internet) and take it to his nurse or office manager they can speak to your Dad about it. This will take the pressure off of him, and you too. Just try to do nice things for yourself and your Mom right now. Think positive and everything will work out!
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I understand that you all miss your dad and want to see more of him.
Being the husband is a lot of responsibility. He has to worry about keeping a roof over his family's head, keeping food on his family's table, giving them the ability to be able to buy the things they need and want, plus worry about bills and insurance and taxes, etc... The fact that he loves his family so much that he is willing to work these long hours, is a testament to how MUCH he loves you! If you only complain about it, you could really be hurting his feelings. His dedication and sense of responsibility is something to be treasured and appreciated.
But, of course, yes, it is possible for someone to work so much they burn themselves out. I realize that you want him to look for people to come to the practice and take over some of the responsibilities there, but looking for people like that is a job in itself... If he's already working himself to the limit, trying to find more people for the practice may be a bit more than he can handle right now. Basically, while complaining he is working too much, you are asking him to do *more* work!
This is where you and your family can help your dad. Find out from him what kind of qualifications he is looking for, what kind of person he would like to find for his practice... And then see what YOU can find. Check newspapers for people who are looking for work. Many newspapers have online additions, so you can look at newspapers from all over the country:
Also, some of them offer the ability to post free online classified ads, plus there are websites that are all classified ads, all the time:
Write up a little ad and then show it to your dad for approval, then go around to all the different places you can find, and post the job offer!
There are also options such as posting an ad on Monster.com
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
or even specialized places like OBGYNcareer.com
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
These place charge money to place an ad, BUT they do have people coming there to look for jobs, and the ob/gyn one is specialized to what you are looking for.
Basically, do as much as you can to take this burden off of him, and you just may be able to get him some help.
Of course, get his permission for all of this... you need to know exactly what he's looking for anyway. ;-)
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OBGYN's have really high malpractice insurance rates. Some states are really bad and CT must be one of those states. It is to bad because it does make it hard to find a good doctor in many places these days.
That being said, I'm sure your dad is under a lot of stress at work too. Him and his remaining partner are probably really keeping very busy. Especially if they see a lot of patients.
I know you guys are feeling the pressure at home. Especially your mom. He may be to exhausted when he does get a day off to be much fun at home.
Try your best to be understanding. I'm sure if you were to talk to him you would find that he probably doesn't like the hours hes working any better than you guys do. I'm sure he is trying to find good help. That's sometimes difficult even under the best of circumstances.
Hopefully he gets some help soon. Be as helpful as you can when he is home. Try to make what time he has off enjoyable. Ask if hes having luck finding help...just try not to be upset or bug him to much about it. He doesn't need any added stress. :)
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like the person below, try to talk to him and tell him that you miss him being around and maybe spend a little less time at work or have him try his hardest to find a partner i guess
im sorry if i didnt help!
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The only thing you can do is try to talk to him.
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