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Married Women developing crushes
I am a 30 year old, married woman with 3 kids. My husband is very great to me and other than the usual bickering & disagreements, we don't have any major problems in our relationship. MY problem is...I keep developing crushes on other men! Whenever I start talking to an attractive guy for a period of time, either from work, my husbands friends or my friends' husbands, I start to "feel" something for them! I just don't understand why I am so prone to doing this. Any input would be greatly appriciated.
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You have fell in a "routine" with your husband, even thou Im sure both of you are sexually, emotionally, physically statisfied with each other, over time the "excitement" of what yall had when yall first got together has faded or just completly gone away. There is nothing wrong with you finding other men attractive, it begins to be a problem ONLY when you act on it. Put some spark back into your marriage, like when yall first started dating. Prance around the house in the shortest shorts you can find hehe or incorporate some toys into your sex life, go to that extra step to fix your hair down, makeup, all that stuff that would make him go nuts to get with you.
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Essentially, you're human. Humans, by nature, are sexual and social beings. Many fantasize about celebrities or crushes even when in the happiest marriage.
If you've been married a long time, then routine could have set in - and this will make new men even more attactive.
This isn't something to feel guilty about. In fact, feeling these attractions and not acting on them is the mark of a truly committed person.
If you feel you'd like to spice your life up, a spot of roleplaying could be interesting - and weekends away from the kids.
Best of luck.
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The next time you notice yourself developing a crush, ask yourself what it is about the guy that attracts you. Is it his sense of adventure? His sense of humor? The way you feel like you can tell him anything? His spontaneity? Once you've figured out the attraction, take a look at your marriage. Is that quality missing in your marriage?
If it is, sit down and talk to your husband. You don't have to tell him you've developed a crush on someone else; just let him know that you feel like (fill in the quality here) is missing.
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Some people say that by nature humans weren't really designed to be monogamous. So if this is true it would be perfectly natural to be attracted to others.
You may be craving something that you do not get from your husband now that you have settled into a comfortable routine.
It may be the potential adventure of the unknown, or the fact that these other men give you a type of attention that he does not. (He probably did in the beginning) Keep in mind that most relationships start with that burning "crush" and most move to the stage where you are now with your husband. :-)
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I know this is going to sound werid from a 16 year old but I do the same thing. I know your thinking that I am young and that is what happens. But no, everyone and every relationship is different it is not wrong to develope crushes on others. As long as you don't act on them while you are married. It makes you feel all giddy inside when you meet someone new and kind of exciting. It makes you want to explore. But you just have to relize that you are single anymore.
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