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Question Posted Thursday March 9 2006, 7:52 pm

okay i need really good advice for this. my friend, he has some problems from the past dealing with family and friends. that's understandable, but he's really controlling. he used to cut and now threatens to kill himself. would he go through with it? probably not, but there's always that chance one day he might just break, ya know? well he doesn't like people i hang around with like my bf, friends, etc etc. he's very very controlling and today he asked me to choose my friends or him. well i obviously want to be with my friends, but i'm afraid he's going to do something stupid like he says. i really need help. everyone says "you shouldn't be friends with him if he treats you this way" but if you were in my situation (maybe some of you are) you definately know what i mean and how i feel about this subject. any ideas??


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Thief answered Sunday March 12 2006, 12:45 am:
i would consider talking to himone on one. just pull him away and treight out talk to him, tell him how you feel and how he should be himself. That life itself is hard on its own and to just move on. If you dwell on some things it will consume you and you will be lost in the past forever. In order to have a happy life, he has to move on and just forget. Tell him that suicide is just a pussy way of getting out, and it wont solve anything. Also, tell him that he is the bigger man to just let go and not let it get the best of him. hope this helps

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Nallie answered Thursday March 9 2006, 10:58 pm:
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Call one of the numbers on this site and ask for advice or...

Tell your friend that if he doesn't get help for his suicidal thoughts, you will call 911, and then do it. If he is being honest about wanting to die you did the right thing. If he is manipulating you, you will show him that you can't be manipulated and he may still get the help he needs for his past problems and controlling nature.

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Solemnstar answered Thursday March 9 2006, 10:13 pm:
Its a type of guilt manipulation, he wants soemthing off you and is making you feel guilty or sorry for him to get it.whether its a relationship or whatever. it is decpetion and lies, some friend.

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LoViNu2mOuCh answered Thursday March 9 2006, 9:30 pm:
Hmmm...reminds me of a situation I was in, only I was like the boy in yours without the controllingness...So I am going to try and help you from that perspective. And I am a girl by the way.

He obviously needs some help..but he probaby doesn't want it and doesn't thing he needs it. And I can see why he would be controlling it makes sense to me but I can tell you it is extremely unhealthy. I wish I had known that before I did what I did.

So if you really want what is best for him I would tell your school councelor, and then stay away from him for a little bit. Because he needs to be away from you to get to know himself, and figure out his problems. He is not going to do anything, just get him some help from someone you can trust and you really believe will is what is best for him.

I hope everything goes well.

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karenR answered Thursday March 9 2006, 8:24 pm:
You choose your friends. Don't buy into his threats anymore. Sooner or later he will get the message. If he doesn't then you don't need him around controlling your life. Friend or no friend.

My guess is that as soon as he sees he isn't going to get his way...he'll be pretending nothing happened.

Hopefully he won't off himself. But if you are worried about it, tell an adult and let them deal with the problem. Don't make it yours. You are much to young for that responsibility, and he has no right making it yours.

Good luck. :)

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