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My boyfriend's virginity
I just started seeing this guy not too long ago, and last night at his house we were talking about sex and I asked him how many girls he'd been with, and he said 10. Then he just told me (I didn't ask) that he lost his virginity when he was NINE years old! I guess I started freaking out a little, and thought he was lying and I blurted out "How could you do that?! You were still a little boy!!" And that really hurt him and he got this sad look on his face and I just wanted to shoot myself for being so mean to him. He kept saying it was okay, but I will still never forget that look on his face...
Well later that night he was driving me home and ALL I could think about was how young his was. I don't know my feelings about it fully, but I know that no 9 year old should be having sex or even thinking about it. I don't know why I'm still bothered about this, I'm trying to look past it but every time I think about him, I think about this. I don't want to, I really really like this guy and I want it to work out.
So the question is: How do I get past this? Have any of you been in the same situation before, or similar to it?
Thanks for any and all help! I'll rate good!
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Damn it really pisses me off when I read some of the answers this know it all people give...Who the fuck is all of you to even beging to speculate what happened to the dude when he was 9 years old? I believe its a case of too much television and not enough education. Anyways back to the question...there is nothing wrong with a guy having ten sexual partners prior to you, i mean some people are just magnets to the opposite sex, and all guys love sex. About him losing his virginity at 9, it is strange but not unheard of, i mean i made out with a girl when i was 7, and it has nothing to with what all this stupid ass shit knowing advicer wanna bes are saying, kids are kids and they will mimick what they see, or will alow curiousity to get the best of them.
Now about the feelings you have concerning the high number of sex he has had, I can only say that for both your sakes you realize that the past is the past and nothing you say or do will make his "tally" come down. Learn to live with it and if you really like him, do not alow issues such as those interfere with something that for all you know can become something awesome. Good luck with that, and try to not pay to much attention to all this foolish talk about rape or abuse. This idiots are talking cause they can, not cause they know.
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Well there could be tons of different reasons why he lost it at such a young age. He could have been raped or just simply curious. He must have really trusted you because he told you something so sacred. You can ask him the story behind it or just leave it be. Personally I would leave it be. Just learn to except that it wwas a stupid mistake that he made in his life. Cait ♥
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This is just a possiblilty..Maybe something happen to him as a young child..Not sayin it did but their are sick people in this world..That could of been a possibility of a sad face..[this was just a thought that came to mind]
Also kids are curious even at the age of nine and do things not thinkin of their future with a girlfriend or future boyfriend.. You can`treally hold this against him..I can understand what you are thinkin because honestly i thought things because my boyfriend of 2 years lost his virginity at the age of 12..Geeze i thought that was awful but i talked to him about it and i just told myself thats his past and he was a young kid i can`t blame him for being curious cause myself at that age was a bit curious [Not about sex but kissing and hugging] I think boys are mosr curious bout things like that my brother the age 11 talks about doing girls and his little friends and i`m just like what the hell is worng with kids..
Gettin past this i know will be a bit hard especially if you are going to lose your virginity to him you might want the same in return [Thats how i felt] But just think about things i mentioned and other peoples response to this question..♥Dez
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He didn't know you then. They're past mistakes. Everyone makes them. But you need to remember that he was just a child and child is not capable of making informed decisions regarding sex. Don't hold what he did (or what was done to him) at 9 years old against him.
It does not affect the things you like about him now does it? If it does, then you seriously need to rethink why you were ever with him in the first place.
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People are different. It's not uncommon to be curious at a young age; curiousity is actually quite normal, especially for young boys. Of course 9 year old shouldn't be having sex, but that doesn't mean they aren't going to naturally think about it if they come across it.
So, when it comes down to it, he was a little too curious at age 9. If I were you, I would talk to him about it a little more to get passed it. Does he regret it now? Does he feel it's okay to have sex at 9? Does he think it's wrong?
If that's the case, I would think of it as a child making a big mistake, since that's what it was. This was years ago (I'm assuming), so it isn't as though he's in the same state of mind now. It should be no problem getting passed it in this case, in time.
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I had a girlfriend that was raped as a child and it took me long time to get past it but in time I learned to live with it. Just give it time the primal shock will pass and youll be fine and dont even realize his viginity stuff. I wish you luck
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