|
My mother is over pertective she want let me have a boyfrien
Okay! Im 14 and my Question is Why are parents so over protecting Girls but not boys? I mean of course Im going to like boys. I can't help that.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Parents only over protect their daughters because so much emotional distress can be involved in having a boyfriend. No matter how tough you are, boys can cause some real damage. They can get way out of hand as well. For parents they see it that if a girl has a boyfriend then it has to lead to sex. And if that happens then they worry that you could get pregnat or get some kind of disease. For boys its different. They can't come home and be upset over loosing a girlfriend because they will usually start in on another unsuspecting girl as soon as they can. It takes awhile for a girl to put herself back together. Don't take what they are saying to heart. Just talk to them about how you feel about the situation and tell your mom that you know that you are ready for this step. You are only 14 but just reassure her that you know what you will be getting yourself into and that you are prepared for it adn that you really want her to be there for you.
]
My parents are like that to m. I am the only girl and I have an 17 year old brohter. Parents are so protective of their girls becuase we are their "babies" they don't want us to grow up and get involoved in boys becuase it usually ends in tears. They are wayyy more leniant on guys becuase guys are more strong to handle break-ups. It's a completly natural thing. It's just a stage, just show them your maturity and let them know you can handle anything life throws at you. Hope I helped <><
]
Parents dont want there little girls to grow up to soon and have a boyfriend . The dont want to see us get hurt but they need to understand that we need to have some freedom and we need to have fun and be happy . They dont want us to get crushed and see us cry over a guy . Just let your parent know that you want a boyfriend and just give you space because your growing up !
; * hope i helped !
]
Because adults understand something that kids your age do not.
When kids are young, they have not developed a true sense of self. At 14, you don't have firm ideas of whats right and wrong for you that you've worked out for yourself.
Parents exist to provide structure because kids haven't learned to create it for themselves, essentially.
At 14, you aren't experienced with dating. You don't know what to expect and how you'd deal with it. You have ideas, but you've never been put in those situations.
But for a girl, theres a specific situation they worry about. Namely, that a 14 year old girl can go out and have sex whenever she wants to. If you get a boyfriend, and offer to have sex, he's probably going to say yes.
Guys are like that. If we want something and are offered it, we aren't likely to say no. Its a logical process.
Thus, it ends up being on the girl. Its very, very rare that a girl wants to have sex and a guy wants to wait because he doesn't feel like its the right time.
Theres also a societal assumption that guys have to work for sex, so a guy is conditioned to jump at any chance they have. Its part of guy culture, if you go and tell your friends that a girl offered sex and you turned it down, your masculinity is in question. You can expect to hear "are you gay?" and such.
Its a huge double standard that is never the less a reality that parents have to deal with. Outside of religion, there aren't a ton of ways to stop a guy having sex when he decides he wants to, but girls will tend to be easier to brand with common sense.
Theres also the added thing of guys being able to take care of themselves. I'm 6'2, I passed 6' my freshman year in high school. My parents weren't worried about someone taking advantage of me, I've taken martial arts and I played football all four years.
Compare that to a girl who's 5'3 and/or less than 150 lbs. I can lift that much weight over my shoulder and jog with it. Think about that, and its pretty obvious why parents worry about girls more than boys.
The last reason, is older guys.
A 14 year old who has little dating experience will often feel overwhelmed at the idea of a 17 or 18 year old guy dating her. It makes women feel more mature, that a guy who is older is interested.
Truly, its because guys lag behind girls in the dating world from about 14 until about 25 maturity wise when compared to each other at the same age. So girls go older.
The thing is, that an older guy is older, and a single year is a ton of experience in high school.
At 18, I knew how to behave to attract women. I knew what girls around me wanted to see, and I showed it to them. I was very successful. I've always tended to date close to my age, but there was always a ton of interest.
I mean, think about it. If I'm 18 and I can behave in such a way that a girl who's 17 or 18 with equivalent experience to mine is attracted to me, I can sure as hell dazzle a 14 year old who has virtually no expectations of me except that I show her attention and affection.
But theres another side to it that makes it doubly unadvisable. The older a guy is, the more adult his concepts about relationships are going to be. A guy who is 18 who isn't a virgin is going to want sex sooner, not because thats all he wants, but just because he's past that hurdle, and for him its now a natural part of relationships.
A 14 year old isn't mature enough to be in the middle of that. Its an automatic pressure to have sex, unstated and yet always there. Its no one's fault, but it is definitely real, and its not something a 14 year old needs to be learning to deal with.
If you want to combat it, talk to your parents. Ask them why, don't get mad at answers, and talk with them about what scares them. If you want to date, and they aren't letting you, ask them why. Talk to them about it, and let them lecture you.
It will be alot easier to deal with your parents if you can talk to them about what it is they want to avoid. You can ask them what you can do that doesn't scare them, or how you can make things easier and safer all around.
]
There are a lot of reasons why parents are over protective of girls. Having experienced it myself growing up, I think I can give some insight.
There are a lot of weird people out there. Until I was about 14 or 15, I wasn't allowed to go anywhere by myself. My older brother always had to come with me. My parents were scared I'd either get into trouble, or get kidnapped or raped. You never know who is lurking out there and waiting for an innocent girl to walk by and hurt her. I saw on the news the other day that an 11 year old girl was walking home and guy approached her and put a plastic twist tie around her neck and put her in the trunk of his car. Luckily, her older brother heard her screaming for help and got to her in time. He got her out of the car before the guy could drive off with her.
Also, boys tend to be really horny and flirty. Some guys (not all, but some) are only interested in girls for sex. Guys can say all the right things to make you fall for them & give them what they want. Some guys ditch you right after you give them whatever it is they're looking for whether it be sex or whatever else.
They just don't want anything to happen to you and they know boys are more likely to take better care of themselves in a situation like this. It's kind of sexist yes, but your parents only have your best interest at heart. Don't give them a hard time about it. Parents are always guilty of caring too much, but who can blame them? Their kids are their world.
]
Parents tend to be more overprotective of their daughters for many reasons.
First of all, teenage boys are very hormonal and they don't want your naivety and innocence to be taken advantage of. Your parents probably think that boys your age only have sexual things on their minds and they don't want you introduced to that at a young age.
Also, girls can get a baby inside of them and boys can't. Even though the boy is still a parent, he doesn't have the proof showing on his body. Plus, mothers are typically expected to take care of the baby if the relationship doesn't work out. Since you're only 14, any relationship you have has a small chance of staying strong for an extended period of time; especially if the stress of a child is added to the mix.
Bottomline: Your parents are just trying to protect you, even though it may be irritating to you right now. They just have your best interest at heart. Try to ease their nerves and allow yourself to hang out with boys by telling your parents that you will stay in the living room with them or keep your door open so that they can keep an eye on you. Tell them that you won't go over to his house unless his parents are there to keep an eye on you as well.
Darby(:
]
okay im not a mother but im 17 i can tell u that .. that is a good thing that your mother is over protective but that moms are like that because they care for you boys cant get pregnant you see and also boys know how to protect them self better than we do soo yeah she like that because she cares alot about you and she doesn't want anything bad happen to you ..........but umm yes back your answer your 14 you say soon to be 15 sooner or later you will need to talk to your mother i recommend that you sit down with her and explain that your are growing up that youwant t know about sex and stuff like that e.c.t. that you want to know what it does how to protect your self things like that and tell her that you want to have a lot of trust with her that your like her friend besides your mother and take it easy also pick a good time to talk with her.............write me back to see what happens!!! your welcome
]
More Questions: |