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Not enough time?
Female, 21
I was recently dating a guy I thought I really clicked with. He talked about our future on several occasions, and he really seemed to be interested in me (like I said, we clicked, and not just on my end). He recieved a promotion that requires him to take frequent business trips, though, and he says he can't start a new relationship right now, especially since there might be fights about it and he might ruin what might be in the future. To his credit, I did contact him with concern even when he told me he wouldn't be able to talk (I know for a fact he was quite busy). He also said he didn't want to deprive me of someone who could put in enough time to be a real boyfriend. He also said he's not going anywhere and has kept me posted on major events in his life. So, is he to be believed? Should I get over him? Should I date around and wait (he said it will be super busy for about 7 months)? Should I just wait? I really feel like this is the guy for me, and I'm trying to keep the faith, but I feel obsessive for believing what may be a line. Help?
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Dear Enough Time,
I know what you and your "boyfriend are talking about". I am in the entertainment industry "producer for film and commercials" and I am busy 10-11 months out of the year and the hardest thing is a relationship and when ever I get involved in one I end up telling her she deserves to find someone who can spend the time on her but when ever im in town and I can spare the time I do my best to make it up to her if she is still interested. As for your friend over there he seems like a down to earth guy with real expectations in his life. From what I gather I think he is interested and that is the reason why he gave you the option because he doesn't want to hurt you ibn the end. He seems like an ideal candidate but if you think this is someone you want to try and get to know I suggest you "find" an arrangement to see each other. And if he doesn't want to do that than its abvious he isn't interested at all. Lets put it this way on 3 month projects I work 22 hours of the day and I leave 2 hours a day for myself and the people around me. That is because I want people in my life to be around not for my sake but because I know they are worth keeping no matter the cost.
Hope this helped.
Christopher Lee Espinoza
PS: Just remember there are ways of finding time for one another just both sides need to commit to make it happen and ask him what he would like and tell him not to use excuses because if he really wants to be with you he will do anything he can to find that time to see or even give you a call.
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Hmm..I don't know if my answer will be the best, but I don't like to reject Inbox questions, so I'll attempt to give you an answer.
He sounds like he really wants to keep hold of you - but 7 months is a long time to be away from each other, definently enough time for you and him to become interested in someone else.
I don't suggest "dating around" in the sense of LOOKING for people to date, because it sounds like this relationship could turn out. But if you find someone that you really want to start a relationship with before the other guy comes back, I say go for it. You can't spend your life waiting for something that isn't certain.
On the same note, if you keep a really close relationship, even if its over the phone with the other guy and feel that you guys have kept in contact enough by the time he keeps back, only give this first one up if you find someone that you are just truely head over heels with.
Hope that helps you some.
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I think you should wait! He sounds honest and deffinitly the guy for you! Its only seven months, and if you want you can date around but keep it casual. Also, try to have faith in this new guy he could be the one!!!
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If he was a deceitful guy, he wouldn't have come out and told you this. So, yes, believe him. Now, I was once told that if a guy was a jerk, he will let you know. You just have to be paying attention. This guy sounds very nice, but I think that was his way of telling you that he was, not technically a jerk, but atleast not right for you. Some guys are worth waiting for, some aren't. If he comes right out and SAYS that he isn't, then I think you should believe him. None of this makes him a bad guy, of course. He is really together for telling you this and not being a coward about it. I think you should find another guy (but make sure you remain friends with this one!) HOWEVER, if you truly think he's worth it, go ahead and wait for him.
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It sounds to me like he is interested, but doesn't have the time to devote to a relationship right now. I think he's being very respectful of you by telling you up front rather than leaving you hanging or jumping into a relationship knowing he can't give it his full focus. The choice of whether to date while you wait is up to you. He may take you dating as a sign that you've lost interest. If he keeps putting you off or things change to where it does seem like he's stringing you along, then you may need to move on so you can find a guy that does have the time. Good luck.
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i say that if he is willing to tell you that you need someone to give you their time then he wants to but can't right now. so i would stick around with the belief that he feels the same way about you and tell him that it doesn't bother you that he is away for work as long as he is willing to spend some time with you when he isn't too busy with work. stick with him if you think that he may be the one for you.
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