|
How do I get her to like me?
13/m. Okay, so there's this girl, and I like her, and she knows I like her. But she just likes me as a friend. No... like isn't strong enough a word. But I can't say love, because everyone says that teens don't know love. But isn't infatuation a necessary part of our lives? (Besides, it's been so long that I've liked her, it's not quite love anymore...)
Background info on her: she's smart (I'm smart too), she's hyper (I'm hyper too). Um... yeah that's it.
So anydangways, I was reading her blog just now, and I was astonished to see that she was talking about how she needs a boyfriend, and single life sucks, and she wants a "hot cool british guy to un-single her. cuz brits r cool." I know she thinks guys are hot, but I didn't know that's what she looks for in a guy!!! Or that she tries to get a boyfriend for the sake of un-singling herself! I don't know what to do; before I know it she'll be taken, or perhaps she'll just never like me! Just because I'm too nerdy! Or any other reason! What should I do?
Plus: Valentine's Day is coming up soon, and I know I should do something special for her, but I don't know what! I've tried asking her out, and I told her my feelings, and she said back in August that she'd tell me whenever she, too, feels that way. So I want to respect her privacy by not rushing her, or telling her stuff again and again and again. I don't want to seem obnoxious. But I gotta do something, just to tell her that I still like her! What should I do? Please help!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'm sorry it took me a while to get to this, but this isn't the sort of question that I'm good at.
Why? Well, I didn't start dating until I was well over 30. How's that for an explanation? :D
Still...there are a few things that I can tell you. One is that it would be a good idea to let her know that you're still interested in her as more than a friend. You'll need to use your judgment as to how often you tell her - obviously you don't want to push it or seem creepy - but if you don't remind her every so often that you're still there, still a possibility, she'll be less likely to even consider you.
That said, she might never end up changing how she feels. And that means that it would be a VERY good idea to try to widen your horizons and increase your options. That doesn't mean go out looking for a new girlfriend every night. But it does mean being open for options, and trying not to obsess about her and her alone.
You're 13. I assume she is, too. You wouldn't BELIEVE how many changes you both are going to go through - I know, you're both smart and you've read books, but believe me: there's a world of difference between knowing adolescence intellectually, and really living it. What I'm trying to say in this paragraph is, try not to worry too much. There are some things that are out of your control; all you can do is do your best with what you CAN control.
Okay. Valentine's Day. You have two options: get a romantic gift that can't be misinterpreted, or get one that can be taken either way - romantic, or "just-friends".
If you go with the first option, the risk is that your friendship with her could get strained or even end. If you go the other route, and she decides to take it as a just-friends gift, you run the very serious risk of being placed solidly in the just-friends category - and that's usually the kiss of death when it comes to the possibility of romance.
So remembering that I'm NOT an expert in this, I'd suggest trying something really different. Something funny would be best, but with romantic undertones. What would that be? You're more likely to be able to figure it out than me, because you know her. But it should be something that will surprise her, but not freak her out.
I'll give it some thought. If I come up with anything, I'll let you know by editing my answer here.
But let me finish by saying this: in the end, it would be better to let her know that you're interested in her (again), rather than to stay silent and watch her walk away with someone else. She might do that anyway, and if she does, it will hurt...but it will hurt a lot MORE if you know that you never even tried.
There's an old saying: carpe diem. And it's true, you SHOULD seize the day. Because once it's gone, it's gone forever.
Good luck!
]
Well the cutest thing you can get her is a teddy bear, a card, maybe choclates, maybe some kinda jewelry. You can get anything along those lines really girls will like anything a guy gets them for Valentine's Day because it's just cute when a guy gets you somthing so anything you get her she will love it I'm toteley sure ! Hope I helped!
♥
]
Hey,
Just because she likes brit guys, doesnt mean thats what she exactly looks for, so i wouldnt let that bother you too much, plus if youare from the states then it will be hard for that too happen, heh. If she is just looking to be "un-single", then it sounds like she is not mature enough to want to be in a relationship, and she may want to just experiment and "look-around" so to say, i would honestly wait till she is totally ready to be in a good relationship, and take it from me, most people don't get in serious ones at 13. But since i dont know her i could be totally wrong and i apologize for that, im just saying that is what it sounds like from the sentence you wrote from her blog.
For Valentines Day, writing her a poem with a rose attached being held by a little teddy bear would be ADORABLE I think. Write anything cute, but not corny, like the "roses are red" type, have it come straight from the heart, but dont "freak her out" so to say.
I also suggest getting to know her better, if you too arent that close of friends, but i do honestly like she seems, from what i have read, a little too immature yet to get into a good relationship, and maybe you should wait it out, if she doesn't feel the same way, try to get over her, you shouldnt wait too long for someone. Once you are a little older it will be much easier to do.
Good luck =) ♥
]
Lol I think she was just joking about the british guy. She`s a little sarcastic. How cute ♥
Anyways, Oh man I have so much respect for you for not rushing into things & bugging her about it. That`s good so I give you props on that. Try getting her a cute littler present with a card. Like a bear or something. On the card, express how you feel. You've waited long enough. And you need to know. Maybe she just forgot that you like her, so on valentine`s ; on the card say your feelings. And by the way she reacts, you can tell if she doesn't like you or if she does. =) Also, flirt with her a little. But honestly, don`t try to be SOOO in obsessed/in love with her because that can kind of be annoying. Just don`t push it TOO hard. Awwwww i hope i helped !! I really do hope you get her ! :]
]
Personally, I don't believe that "teenagers can't love". There are different kinds of love. You're not ready to get married and buy a house, but that doesn't mean you can't feel love.
Anyways, I know this type of girl. I was that type of girl for a long time. Setting high standards and wanting a guy just so I could be fulfilled. Trust me, you don't WANT her to go out with you (Well, you do. But you want her to do it because she likes you, not because you're there). Because the guy I went out with at this time? I didn't care about him at all. If I had given myself time, I might have fallen in love with him. But as it is, I ended up using him. I don't care about how he feels about this--he wasn't entirely honest with me either. But now I regret it because I was cheating myself by settling on the easiest guy I could find. You do NOT want to be that guy.
Unfortunately, you can't make her want to date you. But you are both still very young, and you've got a lot of time for romance and dating ahead of you. Don't rush it. You will probably have on and off crushes on her--that's how crushes are. You will both probably date a lot of different people. And though it may seem like she doesn't want you now, she'll come around. Puberty, hell as it is, sometimes has amazing results. I've seen guys who were skinny, weak little things and plump, acne-ridden dweebs turn into these gorgeous swimsuit calendar-like men. Not that looks are all that matters. I don't think this girl knows what she wants. That's totally normal. She's thirteen, she's not expected to know what she wants.
Here's another thing: what a girl says and what she really wants are often different. I will often say to my friends, "The only man I want is Heath Ledger. He's perfect." but I don't really think that, it's just a fantasy. If I actually set out to marry perfection, guess what? I'd die alone. One possibility is that she is baiting you. This is going to seem twisted, girls often are, but she might be saying that just to see your reaction. You should try to think of something snappy to say to her. I'm usually pretty good with that stuff, but right now I'm drawing a blank. Sorry!
Don't take it too seriously when she talks about her dream guy. She's just dreaming, and I'm sure she's aware of that.
And for Valentine's Day...hm...I would love to get a stuffed animal (preferably a bear, giraffe, or a duck) from a guy. Any guy. Even if he was just one of my guy friends. That would be SO sweet. I say go with the classic bear...it should have something to do with hearts but still be a normal teddy bear, not one of those pink shiny ones that talk. Those things are tasteless. Unless she likes them.
Oh, unless she hates stuffed animals, in which case...I can't think of anything because to me a stuffed animal is the perfect material gift. Better than diamonds, even. Hm...you COULD go with perfume, but make sure it's not generic and cheap and that it won't make her sick. And don't get anything called "Sex appeal" or "Love potion". Get something called, say, "Faery dust" or "Ocean breeze".
And don't panic. It's not the end of the world. Continue to be a good friend to her. Maybe you'll end up together and live happily ever after, maybe you won't. You're not entirely in control of the situation, sometimes things happen that we have no say in. But that doesn't mean to leave it entirely to fate. Keep at it, and it will work out eventually.
Good luck!
-Tasuki
]
Hey, well since she didn't tell you that she feels the same way about you I honestly think that you should move on because it seems to me like you are just wasting your time over a girl that has no feelings towards you as more than a friend. You should move on and and find your self a girl that does like you as more than a friend.
If you really want to do something nice for her on Valentine's Day then maybe you can get her a teddybear with a rose and write her a note saying that you really like her. just don't go overboard with your feelings. Make it short & sweet.
Don't go around chasing her.
And make sure you act like yourself. Because if she does not like you for who you are that is her loss. And if you go and try changing your self just for her to like you as more than a friend, it won't be the TRUE you that she will like.
Goodluck and I hope everything works out with you two!
♥
]
I think she is just going to be your friend for a while. Seems to me you have done everything in your power to get her to say she likes you as more than a friend. She just doesn't seem to want to take it further right now. I'm awful sorry.
You sound like a pretty nice guy. Any number of other girls are going to like you for that. I think you need to start looking for one of them.
You are young. I know you probably get tired of hearing that, but you are. She may change her feelings when she gets a little older. In the mean time don't let her think for a minute she has you stringing along out there waiting on her.
Who knows, you may even become more attractive to her if she sees you aren't going to wait around.
So stay friends with her by all means, but try looking for some other girl who will really appreciate all the nice things you can do for her. :)
]
More Questions: |