|
Pressured for sex
My friend has being going out with her boyfriend for two years now - she's just turned 16 and he's just turned 18. They've always got on really well, and he's always been a really good boyfriend, but lately he's been pressuring her for sex.
She's really not comfortable with this and is happy to carry on as before, but he's been saying how selfish she is.
He also spoke to one of his girl mates about it (someone my friend doesn't even KNOW), and this girls said very nasty things about her.
How can I help my friend? What should she do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
ok as for everyone who is sayin dump him. loko at it from his point of view too. He hasnt gotten laid in 2 yrs! i asy kudos to the guy adn it sounds as if up until recently he has been very respectful of her. if she isnt ready to haev sex then she shouldnt and he should respect that and then decide if he is ready to wait forher. but you gota relize most 18yr old guys the only thign on thier mind is gettin laid. tehy should talk it out and decide for them selves and as for talkin to some girl about it, he must be friends with her an she clearly talks to you about the relationship so it seems a bit hipocritical to say that he cant say anthing to anyone.
]
Ok well first of all, I know that in mags and on TVs they tell you that boys should NOT pressure you for sex and any guy who does this is a jerk, but let's not antagonize guys this quickly, ok?
So this boy started going out with her when he was 16. He has been good and faithful to her for two years and he is a boy. He is a boy who hasn't gotten any for two years. Don't you think he has at least a little bit of a right to want it? Not that your friend should give in, but you can't blame him so much. Chances are that all his friends are sexually active already and he's still waiting for his girlfriend to come around.
So your friend doesn't want to have sex? Well, that's fine. She shouldn't if she doesn't want to but she's at that age now where she's more mature and needs to start being an adult about things. She needs to make it clear to the guy that she's not going to have sex yet and ask him to wait for her if he can. If he can't, she needs to let him go without any misgivings. I know it seems harsh but there are really just three options in this scenario. A. Ask the boyfriend to wait and hope he does. B. Put out for him even though she doesn't want to. C. Break up with him so he can satisfy himself elsewhere. It's a difficult decision and it was wrong of the boy to call her selfish, but in the end, you know it would come down to this.
As for the girl, tell the boyfriend he shouldn't have revealed his personal life to anyone else. Other than that, ignore her. She's probably a jealous bitch with no life. She isn't worth a though.
Good luck to you and your friend.
]
your friend should defintely break up with this guy.
Clearly, he is the selfish one and if he really liked her, then he would not pressure her into doing anything she doesnt want to do. Make sure your friend DOES NOT have sex with this guy.
]
I think that you should remind your friend that she shouldn't have sex with this guy just because he's pressuring her to do it. All you can do is tell her to stand her ground. The rest is up to her. I've been in her position before, and I think she should tell her boyfriend to stop discussing their relationship with a third party. What goes on between your friend and her boyfriend is THEIR business and he needs to discuss this issue with her, not his friend. The other girl is probably only saying rude things about your friend because she likes the guy. I don't know that for a fact, but that's probably what's going on. Your friend needs to dump this guy if he doesn't stop pressuring her for sex. Why it's all of a sudden so important for him, I don't know, but it's not a good sign.
]
I think your a great friend frist of all and are doing the right thing.
However your friend needs to dump him.
1.) He is way to old for her.
2.) He shouldn't be pressuring her to do anything as small as getting a drink of water to having sex.
3.) His friend shouldn't be saying bad things about her.
xoBrowneyes
]
I can udnerstand that - i mean, it's been 2 years. But if she's not comfortable with it, he needs to respect that. I think it's great that she's not going through with it, and that she's waiting. I myself am doing that. Just tell her that the best gift she can give her husband is her virginity and loyalty. If he keeps going on about it, she needs to dump him. No one should have to be pressured into something like that.
As for the girl, I think your friend needs to just ignore her. If it gets worse than verbal abuse, she needs to talk to someone, or possibly the girl herself and ask her what the big deal was? Maybe she's jealous? Or maybe she thinks that if he has sex with her (your friend), then he'll dump her (your friend) and go out with her (the girl). Hope that helps some,
Liz
]
I think it's quite obvious what she should do. If he wont stop bitching about it, then dump him.
]
well firstly, after two years its understandable that he wants sex, but he should definitely respect her boundries. now as for talking to his friend about it, well isnt that expected? are you telling me youve never talked to your friend about him? you obviously have since you know about it, so he basically just did the same thing. all you can do to help is remind your friend to stick to her beliefs, and if he dumps her because she wont put out then he wasnt a good boyfriend to begin with and she deserves better
]
More Questions: |