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I fell in love with my bestfriend (typical). but he used to and still says that he loves me more than he has ever loved a girl in his life. and the other day he told me that he had a girlfriend so obviously i was heart broken. SO appearently he "loves" me only as a friend. yea its confising i kno, geeze. So i just want some advice on how to get over him...like what should I do and places I could go to get him out of my mind, because i really dont want to ruin this friendship. It was just my fault on falling for him.oh yeah i just turned 17 and ima girl and hes 19.
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The best way to forget about him is... well, there is none. I mean when I fell in love for the first time. I was like omgosh. Then he kind of broke my heart. That was crushing, it felt like I was being weighed down by something that I couldnt just get off. I still havent forgotten about him. You have to just let it runs its course. Eventually it will go away. But you will always have that speical place in your heart.
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i wonder did you tell him how you feel sooner or later he'll drift away form you and you will miss it
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There are a couple of exercises I think would be helpful. I got them out of the book, "Brain States", by Tom Kenyon, M.A. Find yourself a quiet place where you won't be disturbed. Sit or lay in a relaxing position and breath in slowly to the count of eight, then breath out to the count of eight. Once you've slowed your body down to match your breathing start to notice what is tense in how you are holding your body. Start to let the tension go in each area of the body one area at a time. Hold this relaxed state for as long as possible. You can also use this state to achieve a myriad of goals or personal growth work....
.... slowly transcend into these exercises:
Choose a visual memory you have of you and your best friend. Be sure it is full of the love you feel for him. Caution: It is important that you know that before you do this you want to be very sure that a memory is not that important to you.
1. Notice your emotional reaction to this picture in your head.
2. Notice if the picture is in color. If it is in color, change it to black and white.
3. Notice if the picture has a frame around it. If it doesn't put a frame around it. Notice your emotional reaction to this picture.
4. Notice if the picture is moving or still. If the picture is moving slow it down until it is still. If it is still, make it moving. Notice your emotional reaction to this change.
5. Finally, notice if the picture is clear or fuzzy. If it is clear, make the picture fuzzy. If it is fuzzy, make it clear.
6. Now look at this changed picture in your mind. What is your emotional reaction to it now? Is it different than your reaction to the original picture?
Note: If you prefer this new reaction, leave the new picture in place. If you prefer your first reaction, bring the picture back to the way it was.
You can see how this exercise can be used to lower the intensity of your feelings towards your friend.
Exercise 2:
The purpose of this exercise is to attune you to the various physiological shifts that occur with this modality of experience.
1. Recall a happy feeling. Intensify it. Make it stronger. Where do you feel this emotion most clearly in your body? Notice the physiological sensations in your face as you feel this emotion.
2. Recall a sad feeling. Intensify the feeling and notice where you seem to feel this emotion. Notice the physical sensations in your face as you feel this feeling.
3. Recall an angry feeling. Intensify this feeling and notice where in your body you feel this emotion the most. Notice the physical sensations in your face as you experience this feeling.
4. Now take a deep breath and on the exhale imagine that the angry and sad feelings are leaving on the exhaled breath. Now recall a calm feeling and take a moment to be in this calm feeling.
You can see how the use of this exercise can help you be in control of your emotions instead of your emotions in control of you. This doesn't get rid of a feeling you have for someone. I don't think you ever really want that. Now, what you do is, use these same techniques when you are out in life, for example: if you are around your best friend and intense feelings start swelling up in you...you could start lowering your breathing rate, release any tense areas you are experiencing (usually the abdominal area), and then releasing this emotion on the exhale. This will help you a lot if you will practice it. After a while it will be so simple as to think about it and you will experience the state of mind you wish to be in. I am not advocating getting rid of emotions. I think love is very important and each time we love someone this special feeling should be treasured. I don't think all is lost with you and your best friend's your timing is off. I think it is still a possibility for you at some point. What I hope you use these exercises for is to lower the intensity of these feelings for now. It will help you to see things clearly. You can also apply these exercises to your life as a whole. Good luck!
Namaste,
LULABELLE
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hey! ok well i know its hard to like someone and they dont have the same feelings towards you. but listen why is happy and your not? why make yourself miserable while hes out there enjoying himself like the other girls told ya go out shop you just turned 17! shopping is fun and hey i bet you have great friends try hanging out more go out party and you know what why dont ya stay off guys for awhile like try to enjoy YOURSELF and only yourself dont worry about anyone else you still have a while ahead of ya to find prince charming. guy will always be guys but you wont always stay young pretty and single. so FORGET ABOUT HIM AND FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO!
bye!
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try meeting another guy. you could go $hopping and get a haircut and a new wardrobe. Also dont ignore him if you still want to be friends talk to him and act like nothing is wrong.<3>3
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listen i was in tht guys position ok....he was my best friend and he liked me alot...but when i told him that i also cared for him he took it that i liked him more then just a friend ...do not be mean to him or ignore him its not his fault you cant control your emotions...i dont know what you shoulld do just go out have fun and dont think of him....try liking someone else ...later
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OUTTA SIGHT-->OUTTA MIND.
I say..
Party your arse off
Go shopping
Get another man
and stop thinkin about that asshole
Dont call him
Dont make an attempt to talk to him
Until youre over him
<3
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