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should I tell him?
Yesterday on New Years I made a painful decision. I decided that the relationship with a guy that I had been in love who decided to move away for a job had to be cut dead. I decided this needed to be done because he wasnt even making an effort to contact me and he never even got me a xmas gift. It's complicated and he can never commit to me because of his work- and I honestly think money is more important to him than me.
While anyways, I havent actually TOLD him this yet. But I've gotten asked out by a really nice guy who lives in town. He owns his own company and is closer in age then the other guy.
Should I just start dating this other guy or should I let my long distance bf know that I want to see other people? I think what drove me to this decision was that the jerk never bothered to even phone me on xmas or new years. What kind of bf DOES that? And should I feel really guilty for wanting to date the other guy? Because I don't.
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well, sounds like your boyfriend is a real pain in the ass. you deserve someone who loves you and cares for you. tell your boyfriend how you feel and maybe he'll change. it would always be nice to give him a second chance. if it doesnt go anywhere after that, then break it off and go for this other guy! maybe he'll be your new boyfriend ;)
you know you love me,
gossip girl
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First of all... wow, what an arse.
Anyway, end it with the arse before dating the new guy. Leave a message on his cell phone, e-mail him, or find some other tactless way to break up with him. Just for wasting your time with him.
You should allow him (and the new guy) the decency of ending one relationship before beginning another.
Never feel guilty that a jerk is being a jerk.
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Don't feel guilty about being interested in somebody else at all. What I would suggest is that you do not schedule a date with your new interest until AFTER you have told your old boyfriend it's over.
It's simply being the bigger and more courteous person. Even though your ex-boyfriend has made no effort to be decent or responsible, you should still behave as best you can.
Tell the guy you are interested in that you would love to date him but you have to make sure that it is perfectly clear to your ex that it is over, explain that he is far away and it might take you a bit of time to contact him, so would he be up for dinner in a week or so?
This new guy will respect your maturity and the seriousness and loyalty you put into your relationships, even when they are over.
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be honest. if hes far away, and you dont like him anymore, and theres other people you want to see, you should let him know. you dont have to be all mean about it, like "You never called me on new years, you jerk!!"... but just tell him long distance relationships are hard and you cant do it anymore.
also, ask yourself if you're doing this because you feel like you really dont love him anymore, or as revenge for him not contacting you over the holidays. take the high road, always.
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Well, I do agree with you that the only way a long distant will work out is if both parties are willing to put forth the same amount of effort. I think the right and moral thing for you to do would be to try getting ahold of your boyfriend ( the long distance guy) whether it's via Email,phone, whatever and let him know that you just can't keep doing this and that you do not believe he is ready for a committed and distant relationship based on where he is in his work life as well as personal. Explain that you still care for him, but you are hurt by the choices he has made when it comes to you and you think at least for now it would be best for the two of you to see other people. If he gives you a harm time about it, stay firm in your decision. Don't go back on it. Because, until he is ready to change for himself, he sure as hell won't change for you. After you have done this you can proceed to dating the new guy. I would suggest not getting yourself into anything that heavy or serious with the new guy though because I personally don't think you would be emotionally ready. But there's nothing wrong with taking it slow and casually dating. :)
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