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my friend is a mystery
i have a friend who moved here last february & we have become really good friends. i mean really close...we can talk to each other about things that i don't think i could even tell most people. i just feel like i am missing something, because i don't know about her past. i know she has a dad, stepmom & stepsister (her stepmom has been married to her dad for only a little over a year but they are luckily very close). however, i have no idea what happened to her real mom. she has never mentioned her ever...i don't know if she's dead, if her parents are divorced, or what. it never use to bother me, but now that we are so close i just feel like i should know something. i know that she proabably has never mentioned her for a reason (she might be sad or angry perhaps?) but as her close friend i feel like i should be able to know somehting. do you think i should bring it up? if so how would you go about doing that (and if something bad happened with her mom i really don't want her to get upset or angry). do you think it is appropriate for me to say/ask anything at all? if you were in this situation would you ask?thanks!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
its okay...if you guys are REALLY close....when you're talking to her, just bring it up one time...all you gotta do is be like "where is your mom?" or something like that...if she gets mad at you for asking just apologize
xoxo hope i helped xoxo
♥ Jody
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if you think she'll feel uncomfortable about this situation, go into a private place where no one can hear you guys. well, if your dying to know, talk about something related to her mom and bring the subject up. don't ask too eagerly or else she will be ashamed of you. if she doesn't feel like talking about it, then let her go. maybe, the next day she'llfeel more cofortable about talking about it.
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♥ You are right, she probably hasn't talked about her for a reason. I would go ahead and ask her. If she doesn't want to talk about it though, don't push her. Just let her know that you are interested. If she doesn't talk about it then, she will open up with time. Just give her awhile. But I would go ahead and ask her.
♥ Good luck, I hope you find out what your looking for.
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I have been there one or twice when I find myself getting close to someone only to realize that they might know me better than most people but I don't know them at all. Mainly I have friends that trust me a lot with many things and I'm supportive and there for them but I don't really tell them about my own personal life. Yes, there is a reason I don't tell them. For me I just don't like to share personal things and also I guess it scares me how they're going to see me after that. Even if its only subconscious, negative, or even positive, but when you know more about a person the way you see them changes. Maybe you trust them more or maybe you realize they have gone through more experiences than you thought or maybe you doubt them as people. I doubt your friend is filled with deep dark secrets and skeletons in her closet that she doesn't want anyone to find out about. It really doesn't matter how mportant or significant something can be seen but there are people that are simply more kept to themselves and they can even consider not to mention small details about their day or that kind of thing. Sorry for writing so much, now about the SOLUTION. I understand why you're not sure if its okay for you to ask since its a very pesonal matter but considering you guys are close friends and you shouldn't assume negative things then I think it is not only okay but a good idea. It also shows you have interest in her life and maybe with you asking her questions she'll feel more comftrable sharing even without you having to ask. A polite way to ask that can't fail is starting your question with "if you don't mind me asking..." OR saying "you don't have to answer if it's too personal or something". Personally I would bring up my own mom in the situation OR her family and then casually be like "hey, can I ask u something personal?" I have a stepdad so it wouldn't be so hard bringing it up for me. well good luck and sorry for making u read so much.
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If I were in your situation I would ask her- Just wondering, where's your real mom- and then add in something really quick like-you dont have to tell me if you dont want to- You have to give her space. Maybe you turst her a lot,but maybe she hasnt trust your enough to let you know what happened...and then if she does tell you what happened...say something comforting afterwards if it's neccesary. Be supportive. But it might be a touchy situation, so dont forve her to say it. And then when......I think you should ask her whenever you guys are like just sitting down to watch T.V or when you guys are shopping. Like during a time where you can ask her, and then get her mind off it right away. becuase you wouldnt want her to be sad all day.
Good Luck!
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listen i think somethhing bad must have happened to her mom that she might not want to remeber or feel ashmed and wouldnt want you too know...dont bring it up until she does...and if you both get closer...ask her when you feel you can help but put them in the right words...not randomly but friendishly like you wana help..ok ..later
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