|
Worried about my friend - this is long sorry :(
Ok so I have this friend, let's call her Eva. She has liked this guy named Ray for the past four or five years and he seemed to like her too even though they never talk.
About a year and a half ago, me and Ray's friend, Austin hooked up. About a few months after that we set up Eva and Ray and they started going out.
Now Eva had always been crazy about Ray. She knew where he lived and what songs he liked even though she didn't know him. She wasn't stalkerish but she was obsessed.
So I was talking to my bf a few weeks after Ray and Eva and he mentioned that Ray was crazy about Eva and that he talked about her all the time and kept buying presents to give to her later and everything and I told Eva that and she was happy.
K now theyve been going out for a year and they are so OBSESSED with eachother. Like, Eva thinks about him ALLL the time. Even when shes with me and the girls she says she wants him to be there blah blah blah and when we ask her why she isnt with him she says she wants them to have seperate lives too and she doesnt want to neglect us blah blah. But she's like crazy about him. And he's crazy about her. It sounds weird to say this but its sooo unnatural. They call each other everyday for three hours atleast and text eachother all the time. She keeps going overtime on her cellphone from talking to him and he even proposed to her after going out with her for only like eight months!
Is it just me or is this obsession unhealthy? at the begining, we figured it would wear out or theyd get sick of eachother and get over their "honeymoon" and have a normal relationship but like it's continuous. Evas mum even told me that she was getting worried and wanted to take Eva to a psychologist but Eva said that was dumb cuz she wasnt stalking him or anything cuz he kenw and he loves her as much as she loves him.
so are we just overreacting or is it way unnormal? usually id keep out of this but ive always been involbved in evas life and her in mine since we were 4 and shes always told me not to let politness or anything interfere and she wants me to be honest to her and give it to her straight. Have you ever had any friends who were obsessed with eachother?
This sounds like a dumb question but please, I rate 5s
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
well it also depends on her age. i mean i am 32 and i am really into my guy and him also into me and we have a hard time being apart i call it love a mutual yearning and respect for one another. it seems that she isnt wanting to neglect her friends but it may be a good thingto tel her if she wants to have the separate lives thing with him she might tone it down a lil when shes with her friends. stress the fact that you are happy for her so she doesnt take it as a jealous thing. explain to her that love is when someone is a "part"of your life and not just your life. he can be a part of her life but remind her that when you fall hard you hit hard at the end and like anything too much of anything is bad for you. its great that ahe found a man that loves her so much but she is still who she is with or without him and all men like a little chase so it wont do any harm to be alone sometimes with the girls. if he loves her while shes there hell love her while shes briefly away. well its great that you worry about her i can see you are a good friend just be careful and talk sweetly to her about it cause most of the time girls view it as jealousy if a friend kinda talks against thier current love situation. but assure her that you are just caring for her. good luck hun
]
This question isnt dumb at all.You just have to talk to her be there for her but also make sure things are okay.I have had friends like that and just tell her not to get to obseesed because at the end there is going to be a heartbreak.She told you to be honest with her so just tell her hey (w.e her name is) you told me to be honest so I am and here is what I think.Good luck your a really good friend ♥
]
It's not a dumb question. It's alright to be worried about your friend, but I don't know what there is to worry about. They're just very in love with each other is what I'm getting at. It's normal in sometime in your life, maybe her's has just come sooner than yours so it seems strange to you.
If she wants you to tell the truth, then tell her how you feel and that you think its a little out of the ordnairy ((Excuse my spelling. I'm not a spelling bee champ! lol))
I haven't had friend been obsessed with a guy, but I have. I just kept reminding myself that I didn't like him and that my best friend had him and I would never have him again. And I cried over him and such things. But there was no point to it.
So what I'm saying is, butt-in, and talk to her. She's been your friend since you guys were 4. You need to be happy for her, but also look out for her. And if he breaks up with her ((Which I highly doubt but if so)) You need to help her through it because we both know how much in love they are and love hurts people.
♥Paige
]
She found a guy who reacts the same way to love as she does. The fact that is has been this way for over a year could mean that it is real and that is just how they express their love toward each other.
Just remember that you can only see their situation through your eyes and your perception. You may think that it is abnormal (along with her mom and a few others)because you might not be able to imagine being in love that way. I personally, couldn't either, but I wouldn't be recommending a psychologist. I have known several people who were obsessed with someone or another, but it never lasted long and it wasn't mutual.
If she starts to ignore all her friends and family to be with him, then maybe you should worry. If she is willing to hang out with the girls and try to have a life of her own(even though she thinks about him) than it is a sign that maybe they just love each other THAT much.
]
Well, i have read what you have to say. Personally i have never known anybody to be like this.
From what i have read i have come up with either two things that could be going on between them.
I think they actually are like made for each other, sort of thing. And they are like completly obsessed. Even though it has been a year, this "obsession" will die out, it is sort of natural once you have two people that really really like each other. I can undertsand that you are worried for her sake. But this obsession will die out between them two, the best you can try to do is not interfere, if you interfere and try to become less obsessed with eachother, the will go on a defence mode and that will make them even closer. So just let them get on with it, and let the obsession die out for themselves.
Secondly, i think either your friend has some troubles/issues or some sort of problems deep down. This relationship can be a way to escape from all of this. And may be this boy is the same way, it might be their way to escape from everything.
I suggest this alot, but it really can help. Study body language, read books, on the internet. If you can master a few simple skills of body language. You can read their relationship just by watching them, i love doing this with people in school, practise makes you better. Message me back if you want a few simple skills i can teach you. It should help you to read the situation of their relationship, and what is really going on. Is this whole obsession thing an act?, you never know. Sometimes when they will not stop going on about someone, they are trying to re-assure everyone that their relationship is so perfect when it is really not..but they dont want people knowing it. So they over do it trying to act as if it is perfect. I am not sure as i do not personally know the people.
Hope i have helped. Message me if you need anything explained.. :)
Sanj
]
More Questions: |