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I think I'm doing great, but my bf doupts me
I consider myself to be an independant woman, but my bf disagrees.
Well I am 27 and have my own appartment that I rent. I don't have any student loan dept, or credit card dept. I pay my bills on time and have been living in the same appartment on my own without any help from family or roomates for the last 4 years.
I have a car that is paid for that I maintain in excellent condition. I just replaced the tires and always make sure it is serviced regularily.
I work part time at a store that is UNION. Before I got that job I had been collecting a small disabllity pension for having a mental illness. Everyone has said how well I have done for myself considering I have this condition. They (my family and friends) are all very happy for me that I got the job.
My bf, however, is being a total jerk. Well before I got the job, even though I was managing to live on my own and be responible on my disability pension would say the meanest things, like that I was living off the system and how broke I was.
Now that I have the job, he is saying things like "so I guess it's working out for you,", in a negative tone.
Well he has no right to do this to me. We arent living together and I NEVER ask him for any money. I could understand him being mad if we were living together and I wasnt working and spent all his money, but I live ON MY OWN and can look after myself. I think considering everything I've been through he should give me a little more credit.
Why do you think he is treating me like this?
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He is treating you like this because you let him. Simple as that.
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WEll I think there is a possibility that he is a little jealous of you. Maybe he wants to be more like you but he knows he cant because he isnt as organized or independent as you. I dont know your boyfriend so i truely dont know. I hope i have helped or atleast given you an idea of what might be happening.*
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Doesn't matter. The fact that he is acting like that at all is enough. Get rid of him. Acting like that...total deal breaker. Let him find someone else to bring down.
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He could be jealous or even intimidated by your independence. If you haven't been together long, ditch the guy. If this is a long term thing, have a heart-to-heart with him & figure out what's going on.
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I think he is treating you like this he's jealous. He feels threatened that you are taking care of yourself even with your illness that he thinks you don't need him. Talk to him. Ask him how this is making him feel.
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He is definitely jealous that you are more successful in life. You don't need a person especially a boyfriend in your life that treats you like that.
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I think maybe he life wasnt so great and he is taking it out on you. Sometimes when we see someone doing so well we wish we were like that. He maybe jealous that he isnt as successful as you. Alos something else might have happened to him and he doesnt want to talk about it so he treats everyone around him to show how he feels without saying how he feels. The best thing is to really ask what his problem is. I think that it is great that you are doing so well and being independent helps you understand what the real world is like. You have shown that you can take care of yourself without help and most people are just heealous b/c they cant do as well as you have made yourself to be. I would just talk to him and if he is a jerk you shouldnt be with you should be with someone that supports you no matter what decision you make.
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Is it possible that your boyfriend resents the fact that you are able to make it on your own? How is his financial situation? Does he work? Does he pay his bills on time or is he struggling financially? Some men are brought up that they should be the breadwinner and take care of everything. Maybe he feels that since you can take care of yourself and don't ask for his help that he's not doing his job.
Is it possible that he feels threatened by your independence? In the back of his mind, he may be thinking since you can take care of yourself, you have no need for him. Some people feel threatened by those who are more financially independent.
Does he normally show this lack of respect in other aspects of your life or is it just your financial situation? If this attitude spills over into the rest of your life, I would be concerned. The fact that he has the need to put your accomplishments down worries me.
I would sit down and talk to him calmly about this issue. Let him know how his remarks make you feel. Ask him why he makes the remarks. If he continues to make the remarks, I would consider moving on. There are guys out there who will give you the respect you deserve and won't feel threatened by the fact that you can take care of yourself.
You have every right to be proud of what you've accomplished. In this day and age, there are a lot of people that struggle financially, even those without illness to contend with.
Good luck. I hope this works out for you.
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