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What should i do we have a child
My girl and I have been together for 2 years we have a 1 yr old the past yr has been hard for both of us we have been fighting very verbally and sometimes physically about 2 months ago her mom who we lived with told me to get out my girl and I agree that we need the space and have been trying to work things through. We both started seeing counslers and since then things have been alot better well to make it short last week she decided that she doesnt want to be in a serious relationship with me and that we can be friends and need to be friends before we can be anything else she says she loves me and will still support me and let me see are son we hung out yesterday and had a great time but i am confused because we was all over each other in a good way. My question is should i try doing the friends thing and show her that I am responsible and continue to do what i need to do (she wants to marry me and be a family one day still but right now we need to work on are own mental issues she says) I just feel that everything i have done recenlty to show her that i love and care about her was not good enough i have stopped the name calling and am not so moody thanks to the counsler and some meds. Has anyone else broke up becasue of problems and worked it out in the end??? Her and my sone mean the world to me and I love them both dearly and want to be in a stable family home with us together (she says she wants this to but we cant becasue of are problems) is there hope??? thank you for readint this and respnding
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Definitely continue doing things as you are.
Don't give up hope. She is probably right that you both need your space.
Take this time to get a place of your own. Big enough for the family. If she still wants to get married then work towards that goal.
Become self sufficient and able to take care of her and your son without the parents help. That will mean more to her in the long run. It is very difficult to have a good relationship, or start a family with parents breathing down your neck. :)
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Let me start by saying-i give both of you big props for taking the steps you did-going to a councelor and working things out. That is a big accomplishment. As for the abuse it is a very scary thing-i was abused my my sons dad(RIP) and it not only becomes a physical abuse but mental also--to this day if a guy puts a finger at me i jerk back--she may be feeling that "what if" it happens again. On the other hand if she says she loves you and is willing to work things out then yes there is hope. You both have to be willing to try to work things out. If for some reason they dont work out(and i hope they do) you can at least day I tried. It will be painful if it doesnt but whats more painful is if you didnt try and wish you did. I on the other hand just had my fiance leave me and i wanted to try and he walked out the door and there was nothing i could do--and i wish i could of. So just do what you can and be the man and father to your son and the love with take you where you need to go. I hope i could help if you need anything let me know I am here to help
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First, stop proving to her that you can be responsible. Don't do it out of proof. Do it because it is what you do as a person and you live responsibly. That is what will make her notice. Don't push the friendship into love, don't rush it, go at the pace she wants so that she knows you'll stay right where she is until she wants to move up. You just need to worry about your son, and how you can continue to fix yourself and your actions when it comes to how you talk to her when you fight with her. You're being impatient, if you suddenly don't call her names and aren't moody anymore, then it's obvious that you two are apart for now. She has to know that even when she takes you back again, that your attitude will change with her. You have to think of it this way, shes saying that if you two get back together, it won't be ok, it will be back to this. She is absolutely right about this, and you're great for trying so hard at making things better and not using verbal abuse toward her, if you continue that through out a love relationship with her, likely you won't be back in this mess, because then she will learn to talk to you instead of yelling and screaming. Learn to talk out the problems, be a listener and consider her feelings and what shes trying to say, you just have to have her do the same with you. If something is bothering you, let her know calmly that it's bothering you and why. If something is bothering her, listen to why and help find a way to not have you both happy with the resolved issue. Don't expect to be back together anytime soon, love and have fun wit your son, and help support your girlfriend's decisions as she will yours eventually.
-TheTeenGirl
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You failed to mention your age. Seeking counseling was the first step. You both saw you were heading down a very bumpy road, and did what you needed to do.
Verbal abuse is just as horrible as physical abuse, and i think youre girlfriend just wants to be sure that counseling is truly helping you.
You have to mean what you say, and stick with it, no matter what. Just give it time. It may take a long time, but she needs reassurance that your not gonna fall back into your old ways again!
If you lose your temper fast, leave! Go for a walk, and just talk to yourself. You dont want your son to pick up on your behavior. It will carry on down to him, i guarantee it!!
Be patient! If you both have a strong love for each other, youll come through this, and hopefully be that happy, and stable family you want so bad!!
Good Luck to you!!
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It depends on how old you are...um...if you're relatively young I wouldn't worry about it too much. You care about your son a lot and are being a very good father to him. Even if things do not work out with your girl you will still be there for her and your child. There is a lot of hope though, you two need to get your lives together and once you things could work out. Just keep supporting and visiting your girl and your son. You should even take your son and take care of him on weekends or something to give your girl a break and to let your son get to know you as well. You're the child's father as much as she is his mother and she'd probably like a little break. Be strong and have faith and everything should work out for you. Good luck!
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