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help
last year i lost a rgoup of friends. i met other ppl and i loved my new friends. now they left me and i have no idea why. they tell me that i was bitchy and that i hurt them and that i needed to change and be nice and love them. i do love them and i know i was a bithc and i know i need to change but i cant do it without them helping me. i am hurt and i cant stop crying. i love them all so much but they left. i dont know what to do.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
dont let them walk away from you just tell them u want to talk for a few minutes and see if they will understand. i am in the same situation right now and i myself cant seem to figure it out. you can alwayz get new friendz but they r never going to b like your old ones.
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i seriosly know how you feel. why do you need to change? if they don't like who you are, and they want you to change, are they your real friends? if your other friends are this way too, maybe you really need to seek people that really won't judge you. hope this helps!
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This is a toughie. You have to have known things were leading up to something like this. You felt the temperament of the group and yet you kept pushing. I understand your need to do this; the problem is your friends don’t have to understand. They just want to have fun. Depending on others to initiate change is setting you up for failure. Your actions and your behavior is your responsibility. Only you can make these changes. You have to search deep within yourself and try to figure out where this is coming from. What is motivating you to act this way with people you say that you love? What they are saying when they don’t believe you love them is that they feel no one would treat someone they love the way you have been treating them. I know how devastated you must be right now and I ‘m not trying to be mean. I just think you need to know these things in order to get what you say you want. I know you have a good and loving heart or you wouldn’t be so emotional about this. You do need some guidance and your friends are not equipped to do this for you. If you have a guidance councilor at school you could go to her/him and see what options are available to you. You need to take control of your own life. Then, you can send your friends a card (for example) and let them know how you feel about them and how sorry you are about how you behaved. Thank them for bringing this to your attention and let them know what you are doing to change. Change, by the way, does not come easy. You’ve developed some bad habits and habits are difficult to change. They pop up when we least expect it. But, the more you practice good habits the quicker they will replace the old bad habits. I care about what happens to you and your emotional state during all of this. I know it must be overwhelming for you. Please feel free to contact me if you should want to chat.
Good Luck!
LULABELLE
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haha sorry one more thing...I don't do this to get good ratings ("i don't know about you, but you gotta learn to appreciate what you get"). I do it to help people. A lot of the time good advice is something that people just don't want to hear.
Next time when you're asking a question for a friend say so...there's no reason not to. People can get really confused and if you want the best advice you need to be completely honest. I was actually wondering if your question was either untruthful or being asked by someone else because it just didn't seem like it came from a person in that situation. Your feedback would have made a lot more sense to me if I had known that you weren't really the person that needed advice. It's great that you ask questions so you can help other people, that's a really nice thing to do. I hope you can put yourself in my place and understand where I was coming from with what I said. Even though there was no way I could have known, I still feel very sorry for what happened. <3
Alright...I want you to read what you wrote as feedback for me. If you can't even talk to ME without being a complete bitch, you're going to have some serious problems. What you said to me was rude, uncalled for, and didn't make any sense. Your friends still like you but they just can't put up with you because you are so awful to EVERYONE. You need to learn how to be nice and appreciative because it seems you don't know how to be to anyone. You aren't going to have any friends if you keep up like this. People like you and care about you, but it's hard to be a friends with someone who isn't your friend back. You should have written something like this "it's 5 in the morning where I am and I'm quite tired, but I think that you deserve a 5". This way you are letting me know that it's late where you are and may not really deserve a 5, but you just don't really care...in a NICE way. You need to learn how to be a nice person or sorry to say this, but you are going to be a very lonely person for the rest of your life. I know you have it in you and I also know it's going to be hard for you to do, but it's something you really need to work on in order to be happy. Try saying things to your friends that they would say to you. Anyways, good luck, you will really need it.
Well, your friends should understand you enough to know that you don't mean it when you are mean to them. What you should do is apologize to them and agree with them. Tell them that you know you can be a bitch sometimes but you never mean it and it hurts you that they think that you really do mean it. Tell them you really do care and that you are REALLY sorry for hurting their feelings. Ask them to give you another chance and you will try to be more sensitive to their feelings if they will try to understand that even when you are mean you still do care about them and love them. When you do slip and say something nasty to any of them make sure you really apologize for it even if it's a day later. They will start to understand you better and get a better sense of who you are and how much you really do care if you tell them all of this and they give you another chance. Good luck and I know that you can work this out :)
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Hey ♥
You don't need them to help you change. You can change on your own. Simple ways that you can gain your friends back are just by doing nice deeds for them. Smile at them all the time, help them & learn from your mistakes. Obviously this is making you upset, you need to talk to them all individually and ask them what they would like to change about you. If you're "bitchy" then you need to change your attitude. If you love your friends, you wouldn't act bitchy to them, right? You just need to be a lot nicer & be there for them. As much as you'd like to tell yourself that you weren't bitchy & stuff, if the group is all telling you that you were. Then you were bitchy - you just need to change your attitude & start being nice. Good luck.
♥♥ naimee
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WOW GIRLIE!! This is what your should do right them a note/letter telling them what you just told me about you still loveing them and say that you know you were a bitch and that your sorry and its your flaut and your very truely sorry. Just let them know how you feel!!! If there true friend they come back! just wait,
may god bless
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