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please help ..
okay well like my friend (lets call her Kelly), well i though kelly was my best friend, and she was for a few years, but she knew other people in this other town and started hanging out there ALL the time and met this girl (lets call her linda) and linda and kelly became like BEST FRIENDS .. and now kelly barely like wants to hang out with me and like when i ask kelly to hang out she avoids the subject and then a day later i find out she avoided the subject cuz she already had plans with linda.
but sometimes i ask her to hang out first before she has any plans but then linda asks her to hang out AFTER i asked her and she said to me .. "sorry i cant go" and she hung out wit linda.
and now i have no plans for halloween this year cuz i got in a fight with my other bestfriend and now kelly is spending halloween with linda.
no one cares about my feelings and people push me around and i have no confidence and i cant really stand up for myself so i just kinda let people walk all over me.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
well just ignore her then once she knows ur not around her shell start to want to hang out with one, so just hang out with one of ur others friends and maybe youll find out that you maybe like them better
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The same thing is happening with my friend. I just dont understand how everyone can just hang out together. Shes not a true friend if she was she would not ditch plans with you to hang out with her. Tell her, and dont ask her, but tell her that its not right, your not makin her choose but its messed up how she doesnt hang with you nymore, you can have more then one best friend. If she doesnt care then drop her you dont need anyone like that anyway...
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I dont think that she is your best friend. Best friends do not treat you like that at all. The best way is to find another best friend. You need to go out on halloween alone but if you want to show her that you dont care go with your plans alone. If you show that you dont care she will come back. She is trying to get you to feel like you need her but if you meet like a boy or a new person to be your friend then you dont need. Either way you dont need her.
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Well, you might want to talk to Kelly first.
This kind of situation has happened to me many times, and although I would advise you to talk to her first, I generally just ignore the person and move on with my life. I mean, it is obvious that she has moved on from you with Linda.
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What I'm about to say may come across as mean at first, but believe me, that is not my intent. I only want to see you have a happy life and get everything you say you want. The reason that you are in this mess is because you do let everyone walk over you. It’s totally up to you what happens to you. People have little respect for those who let them walk all over them. That may be part of the problem with Kelly. Also, You may be coming across to her as almost begging her to be with you. This would be irritating and exasperating to someone. You don’t actually have to be begging and on your knees to come across this way. It is all in your tone and inflection of the voice. People listen to more than just the words when in a conversation. People also look at the expression on your face and how you move around too. So, I wouldn’t share my feelings with her right now If I were you. It would simply come across a begging and drive her farther away. Now, we have to start changing some of your habits. From now own when you ask your friend to hang out and she says no for whatever reason go-“ok, I’ll get together with Jennifer (name I made up).” Next time you see her talk all about how much fun you and Jennifer had doing whatever. Then ask her if she wants to join the two of you for something else. If she says no, be ok with it. Just keep telling her about all the fun you are having doing the things you are doing. Ask her what she’s been up to and listen with interest if she is telling you about her other friend and how much fun they are having. However you are finding out that she is spending time with Linda, use that to let her know you know she is with Linda. Tell her you want to hear all about what they are doing, that you’re interested. After she’s done telling you about her adventures say something like, “That sounds like a lot of fun, good for you.” Then let it drop unless she wants to continue talking about it. If she does just listen. Be happy for her. You could also invite Linda to join the two of you to hang out as well. Invite Kelly and Linda to sleep over sometime. This way you could get to know Linda…. who knows you may like her too. This may take a while to accomplish so; we need to figure something out for this weekend. I wish I knew what your argument was with your other friend but since I don’t well, I’ll just have to muddle through it. All I can think of here is you may have to suck it up and call her and be nice. Another idea…there have to be other people out there that you know who you can call and ask if you can join them. They may not be people who you like as well as your other friends, but, you can still have fun. You can make it fun no matter who you wined up being with. Don’t let these little set backs bring you down. Have fun no matter where you find yourself. If you do this, you will forget about being sad and you will feel much better and always have fun. This will come across to people that you are a strong person and everyone will want to be with you. Lastly, yes, I care about your feelings. I want to see you happy.
LULABELLE
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Tell Kelly what she is doing is making you feel left out. Wait for the next time that she says "I'm hanging out with Linda," and then JUST DO IT. I know it takes courage, but if you want any definite answers, you have to do it. If she understands, I suppose you could still consider her your best friend. If she goes "Stop being so possessive! I can have more that one friend," maybe she is just excited about Linda and intends to hang out with you more later. So give it some time. If you've waited a while and she's still not hanging out with you, remind her again. If she says the same thing, then she is a flaky friend. Real friends split their time equally among all their other friends.
About the fight with the other best friend, I could help you more if you described the fight.
Best of luck!
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Well,just becuase she wants to have friends with other people isnt bad..but still she shouldnt be doing that to you.I know its hard to tell her,but you have to try!If you only have those two friends,i'd make sure you become friends with the one you had a fight with.This is weird cause i feel like im ur friend that is hanging out with linda..but i would never do that to someone.Who knows,maybe linda and her were best friends for a long time,and still are or something.Yes,still consider as one of your best friends,you know she is still your friend shes just meeting new people,maybe you should to but still keep friends with her.
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You need to tell her how you feel.If shes a good friend then she will have sympathy for you.she will understand what she is doing is making you feel well bad lol. and for your other bff ..give her time..shell come around..halloween is in 2 days.. you got this girl ...talk to her ..
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