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Bi-polar boy?
Hello. . .19/f here with a problem...
I met this guy about 2 months ago. We've already had sex, and we act like a couple to an extent. . spending a lot of time with each other, kissing/cuddling/ect, talking on the phone for hours... He has told me that he cares for me and loves me.
He's afraid to be in a relationship, though, because his last (very serious) girlfriend cheated on him with his brother and is now pregnant with his brother's baby. He doesn't trust anyone. He has admitted to me, though, that he holds back some of his feelings for me.
Some days, he's very sweet to me and wants to be around and is very affectionate. Other days, he's kind of cold and shuts me out a little bit. Either way, he wants to hang out; it's just the way he acts around me that varies.
He has bi-polar disorder. I'm begining to think that maybe this disorder, although medicated, is making him act this way.
So these are my questions.
1. Does anyone have manic depression/bi-polar disorder? If you do, can you tell me how this disorder effects your social skills?
2. I want to be in a relationship with him, but I don't know how to help him take that extra step to trust me. He says "I love you, but i'm not in love with you. I don't think I could be in love with anyone." How can I help him stop holding back?
I'll rate you highly if you at least try to help.
Thanks.
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well your boyfriend is going through a lot of stress. he lost someone he cared about very much and finds out shes having a baby with his brother. hes having a tough time coping with this. well for you and your boyfriend you should plan a romantic evening and tell him you love him and that youll always be there for him. whatever you do dont lie about this. also tell him that you know how hes feeling and maybe hell come around for you. dont get mad if he still tells you he is not in,ove with you because this will tell him and that you can wait. maybe a little bit later in life hell see that your really comitted to him and see how much you mean to him. hope i helped! buh bye! im me at T3RRI2010 for any more help.
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Ok, here it goes. He is screwed up right now. BIG TIME. He is dealing with issues that he has either not resolved or can't due to his state of mind. The unfortuante thing for you is that you can't change where he is right now in his life. Has has said the words and I am quoting from your question "I love you but, I am not in love with you. I don't think I could be in love with anyone." That says it all. He is probably incapable of loving or giving you what you want right now. If you want to stick by him, then do so it sounds like you love him alot. Just be aware that this is going to be a heartbreaking situation for you. He is not IN love with you. He probably can't be until he gets over what he's been through and currently going through. There is so much research about his illness that one could fill endless pages with it. So I will refer you to www.psycom.net and look under depression central. You can search for BiPolar. there are many books out there also that help cope. Hope I helped
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You can't really keep him from holding back. He has been affected mentally, and will do things the way his mind works. Try and get him to talk to you though, because talking about things when you have mental problems like this always helps. Just be patient with him, he only acts that way sometimes because of what has happened to him, it has nothing to do with anything you're doing.
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I went through the same thing. We both had heartache in our lives. To some extent he could be saying all that as an exuse to not make a commitment. (i know some1 who is bi-polar, and that hasnt stopped her from being in a relationship) I really liked this guy, and he told me he didnt want a gf right now, but i hear that he does stuff with other girls. Well i dont know about you, but i dont want to be used like that. Do me a favor> Stop the sex for awhile, and see if he still hangs around, but DONT let him know why. If he asks or brings it up, act like you didnt hear. You can kiss and show affection, but thats it. Its a test to see if he really wants you, or if its just the sex hes interested in! If he really wanted to, he could let go of whatevers holding him back. I mean hes not holding back on the sex, just the commitment that goes along with it! Think about it! There is a big difference between "LOVE" and being "IN LOVE"!! Dont give yourself to a guy who doesnt want to be committed to you. Sounds like he just wants to be friends with benefits!!
Good Luck!!
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Bi-polar...Wow. I have heard that word quite a bit. I might be a little angry a few times in the day but I am not bi-polar. I hear it is very scary. I few minutes you are very happy, then you get moody. Sometimes it is like beening mad at your best friend. You just need to talk more about his life go deeper into his heart. Then maybe he will be "in love" with you. Good luck!
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Okay, I know how to help you here. I recently got out of a relationship with a guy that was bi-polar and yes, it does affect your social life...very much so. At the time, I didn't know that he was bi-polar, I just thought he was being an ass. But seriously, this guy loves you, and if you are really commited to him, you're going to have to "pur up with it".
He may get short with you sometimes, but really hon, he doesn't mean it. I am positive that his being bi-polar is the reason for this. So don't worry about it hun, if you really love each other as much as you do, you can work it out.
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I'm very sorry that you are having this trouble. I wish I could offer more advice than this, but I can't.
I'm not bi-polar or have manic depression, but I do know a couple people that are and I have some experiences with some pretty strange people.
I can tell you though that with time, he'll begin to trust you and he wont hold back any longer.
If you stick with it, it's gonna be hard, but if you love him, it'll be worth it.
I'm sorry that I couldn't give better advice, I hope what I said can help a little in some way.
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