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New bf that doesn't fit in with my friends


Question Posted Sunday October 9 2005, 12:09 am

I recently met this guy and we're now dating. We aren't exactly what you would call the cutest couple because well, some people don't believe we belong each other. Those some people being my friends.

I'm what you could call the preppy high school cheerleader that hangs out with other preppy cheerleaders/jocks.

He is...well I'm not sure what he is. When you look at him you think oh, just another punkish looking emo druggy kid. Which is what my friends think. But, he really isn't. He did voluntarily dye his hair black and has an eye brow and lip piercing. Along with another one that is below the belt that I haven't seen yet ;P.

But anyway, back to the point. He's a sXe(straightedge). If you don't know what that is, it means that he doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs and doesn't believe in casual sex.

I was recently involved in an accident. The accident should have never happened because we'll the driver and I were drinking. Fortunately, I'm still alive. And because of the accident I've decided not to drink anymore. (I met my bf after my accident).

My friends think that my bf is BS and that he's just kidding himself. And obviously, do not like him. His friends and I get along fine and he doesn't mind my friends, except for the fact that they don't like him. What should I do?


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lyDia_LoU answered Tuesday October 11 2005, 10:50 pm:
lol he sounds hot! Maybe go on a double date with a friend so they can get to know him. Invite them along with you guys to the movies or just to your house. After they get to know him I'm sure they'll like him! I understand though! They're your friends and you want them to approve! Atleast you know that they care enough about you to tell you their honest opinion. I'm sure you've tried this, but just flat out tell them you like this guy and that he is a good guy! Good luck!
<33

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xRoOxiSxBlOnDex answered Monday October 10 2005, 10:00 am:
Talk to them. I agree you can't just "not care" even if it is stupid, because I can honestly say how stupid some things are, but I still care. Just try talking to them, and asking them to try.
&hearts; Melissa

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xiicarebareiix answered Sunday October 9 2005, 2:56 pm:
if your "friends" are really this shallow, then you might want to reconsider your friendship. having (or not having) a relationship based on what others expect is bad. so just do whatever you think is right. unfortunately, not many people can help you with this. this is one that you need to figure out on your own. just follow your heart(i know, its corny. but its true!) and do what you think is best...

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dhrutts answered Sunday October 9 2005, 8:36 am:
Hi There,

Sometimes it's easier to seethe in silence when someone makes you cringe, but that doesn't solve the issue. If anything, bottling up your feelings like this just makes the problem seem worse. It means you risk a situation where your mate steps just slightly out of line once more and you explode right in front of them - which doesn't solve anything.

Whatever your boyfriend has done to make you feel so awkward, it's always wise to pick a good time to talk - preferably when you're feeling calm and there's nobody else around to chip in or stir things up for you.

Your aim here is to encourage this person to think about things from your point of view, without leaving them feeling shame-faced. If your mate can see the upset they've caused for themselves, they'll be more likely to change their behaviour.

Nobody likes to feel as if they're being attacked, or that somehow they have to defend their actions, so don't lay into them - it'll only risk a fistfight (or that slappy-scrap thing girls do sometimes).

You can't expect them to shape up straight away, especially if you're both feeling a bit self-conscious after getting things out in the open. Instead, give them some time and space to process the problem and act upon it. If they value your friendship, you should see a new improved mate in no time.

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x0blu3eyedbeautyx0 answered Sunday October 9 2005, 1:56 am:
Ok ya..i know what you mean..they're your friends and they have a big impact on your thoughts about people..well you're their friend and it works the same way with them so get it in their head that he's really sweet and he isnt in to all that stuff...be like i know he isnt neccasarily my type but who sais i cnat try soemthing new?? just find certain times where you can talk about all the good things bout him..but don't overdue it and start talking bout him constantly lol! Well I hope it all works out for you guys..good luck! &hearts; caitie

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syireen answered Sunday October 9 2005, 1:09 am:
well no offence but from the way you describe your friends they seem really snobby. i mean if they know you like him alot but just for the reason that he's what? a punky sort of guy thats why they dont like him? i mean maybe if he did something wrong or if he treated you wrong maybe then they would have the right to not like him but come on..you on the other hand seem like a true good hearted person to not let the image diffrence get to you. i really think you should some how make your friends understand that it hurts you that they dont like him. like seriously just be straight up and be like why the hell are you guys talking shit about my boyfriend like what kind of friends are you guys .. i mean im sure you dont do the same for them right?

any way thats the best advise i could give good luck with your boyfriend im sure hes a nice stand up guy if yo like him that much.

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ItzMzManda answered Sunday October 9 2005, 12:27 am:
If this guy makes you happy then you should be with him. It doesn't matter if you guys are the cutest couple. Who cares if you guys are in two different groups. As long as you like him for your reasons and he likes you for his then things should go great. Dont let your friends stop you from being with someone that you want to be with. It doesn't matter if they dont like him because they aren't the two people involved in the relationship. Hope this helps!
-Manda

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SoInToYoUx0x answered Sunday October 9 2005, 12:22 am:
your in the same situation as me except for i am not the preepy girl but my friend DISS approve of my boyfriend.. my advice is to fallow your heart and do whatever you think is right. you know your the opne goin out wit the guy not them so they shouldnt worry about. dont listen to your friend if you really like this guy and you feel like you got something goin for it. i mean yea you should listen to them and they are there to suport you when times get hard but you got to know your limits and your friends cant always run your life for you. hope this helps you out.
*~Stephanie~*

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tangerine answered Sunday October 9 2005, 12:22 am:
Does he make you happy?

If he does, other people's opinion of him shouldn't matter much. Tell your friends to get over it, its not them thats dating him, its you. And tell them that if they cant find it in them to like him to at least respect the fact that you do.

But one important thing to remember is to not desert your friends. If theres a break up you dont want to suddenly find yourself void of both your boyfriend AND your friends.

So what you need to ask yourself is, is this guy worth it? If he is, stick with him all the way, if he isn't, listen to your friends.

Goodluck. (And sorry if that didn't make much sense)

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